“It is not your fault, Bao-ji!” Ravindra said with indignant loyalty, his narrow hands forming a mudra of reassurance. “The gods always test the strongest heroes, the ones they love best in the world. Surely you passed!”
Bao smiled at him with genuine affection. “You are quite the hero yourself, young highness, rushing to protect your mother as you did! It would have gone far worse for me if you hadn’t.”
“Truly?” Ravindra flushed with pleasure.
“Truly.”
Thus for better or worse, our plan was established. It would take some days to assemble a sufficient force and arrange for supplies and other necessities, such as a battering ram that would have to be carried through the winding maze on foot.
In the meantime, we lived in fear.
Hasan Dar insisted that the Rani and her son continue to sleep in the hidden room. It made sense, for although the assassin Zoka had tortured the secret out of poor Sameera, he had taken it to his death.
Still, I could not blame either of them for being reluctant to return there.
“Would it help if Moirin and I stayed with you?” Bao offered. “I am sure it is against protocol, but…”
My lady Amrita fingered her bruised throat. “Yes,” she said gratefully. “It would help very much, thank you.”
I didn’t think there was room in the small space for another bed. “We can put a pallet of blankets on the floor between you.”
“Even better!” Ravindra clapped his hands together with glee. “Bao-ji can share my bed, and Moirin can share yours, Mama-ji. It will be as though we were a large family, like your family in Galanka, eh?” The notion delighted him. “Yes, I will pretend Bao is my older brother, and you will pretend Moirin is your little sister.”
“I don’t think-” I began diplomatically.
“Would that make you happy, jewel of my heart?” Amrita asked her son. He nodded. She summoned a weary smile. “Then if Moirin and Bao do not mind, we shall do so, and have a game of pretending.”
Bao made a show of weighing the matter. “Do you snore, young highness?” he asked in a serious tone. “Because I cannot abide snoring. Do you steal the blankets at night? Because I do not like to be cold.”
Giggling, Ravindra shook his head. “No, older brother! I promise, I do not do either thing.”
Amrita touched my hand. “Do you mind?”
I smiled at her. “What do you think, my lady?”
She gave me a sidelong glance, a hint of her familiar, amused sparkle returning to her eyes. “I think I am very glad to see my son happy in the midst of this nightmare. I think your bad boy has a very large heart.” She caught my hand and squeezed it fondly. “And I think you do not mind at all, little sister.”
Of course I didn’t.
Even so, my nerves were strung tight that evening as Bao and I ascended the narrow stairway to the hidden room to ensure it was safe, both of us wrapped in the twilight. The memory of the assassin Zoka’s attack was fresh in my mind. Bao searched every corner, peered under the beds, over the balcony, his staff at the ready. Not until he nodded at me did I kindle the lamps and release the twilight, the bright-burning wicks turning from cool silver to flickering gold.
Safe; we were safe.
This time it was true.
It was a little bit funny, a little bit awkward, and altogether sweet as we turned our backs on one another to change into sleeping attire. The beds creaked as we climbed into them, a comforting, homely sound.
I was careful not to touch my lady Amrita, not wanting to presume on her affection.
“Oh, don’t be foolish, Moirin,” she chided me, laying her head on my shoulder. “All of us need all the comfort we can find. I am glad you are here.”
Relieved, I held her. “So am I.”
Her dark eyes glimmered at me, and she put her lips close to my ear. “Listen to our boys.”
Ravindra was telling Bao a tale about one of his favorite Bhodistani heroes, the great archer and warrior Arjuna, who was reluctant to do battle because of the many deaths it would cause. “But Lord Krishna convinced him it was his duty to protect his people,” he said in a solemn tone. “I think that is why my mother has decided she must go to Kurugiri. Do you think you could convince her to let me come, Bao-ji? You said I was a great help today.”
“So you were, little brother,” Bao said soothingly. “But you have a different responsibility. You must remain here with your tutor to remind us all what we are fighting for.”
Ravindra sighed. “Because I am too young?”
“You are very brave, but you are not a warrior yet.” Bao tickled him. “For example, warriors do not giggle.”
It was a boy’s laughter, helpless and unfettered, reminding me once more to be grateful that even in the midst of fear and darkness, love and laughter could survive. Amrita smiled quietly in the dim moonlight spilling from the balcony, her thoughts echoing mine. “I think your Bao is good for my Ravindra,” she murmured. “My son is such a serious boy. It is good to hear him laugh, especially during such a dreadful time.”
“I think your Ravindra is good for my Bao,” I said softly in reply. “He is helping him learn to live in brightness again.”
Amrita shivered against me. “I pray to all the gods that we are given the chance to do so,” she said in a low voice.
I thought of Sameera’s severed fingers lying on the storeroom floor, of the shifting fires of Kamadeva’s diamond, and Jagrati’s terrible beauty; and I shivered, too. I held Amrita closer, breathing in the flowers-and-spice scent of her skin, and kissed her hair.
If I failed her in Kurugiri, I would never, ever forgive myself.
“I pray so, too, my lady,” I murmured. “I pray so, too.”
SIXTY-NINE
Three days later, we departed for Kurugiri.
Although he had wept at their first parting, this time Ravindra was dry-eyed and grave, every inch the solemn young prince once more. The gravity of the situation had become all too real to him, and I think he understood that if his mother didn’t return, he would be called upon to rule their people in a time of fear. He stooped to touch our feet in a gesture of respect, and embraced us all in turn.
“You will do your best to keep my mother safe, Bao-ji?” he asked.
“I will, highness.” Bao pressed his palms together and bowed. “Moirin will, too,” he added. “She is as skilled an archer as your Arjuna, you know.”
It won the faintest of smiles from the boy. “Although I do not believe it, it is good to hear anyway.”
Last of all, Ravindra embraced his mother. Amrita held him tenderly, whispering in his ear. When she turned away, there were tears in her eyes.
I closed mine, whispering a soft prayer to the Maghuin Dhonn Herself to grant me strength.
I would need a very great deal of it.
Once more, we set out in procession through the streets of Bhaktipur. This time the mood was altogether somber. We were riding to war, not to a parley. There was no hidden gambit to give us the upper hand. So much of our plan hinged on my ability to summon the twilight and hold it for a very long time, to use it to kill with stealth in the deadly maze, praying all the while that the Maghuin Dhonn Herself did not withdraw Her gift from me for using it thusly. If She did, I would be useless when we reached Kurugiri.
My lady Amrita had teased me once about carrying the weight of the world on my shoulders, and today it felt like it.
Folk in the street bowed as we passed, low and deep. Some went to their knees, pressing their brows to the ground. Many of them had been afraid for their much-loved Rani the first time.
This time, all of them were.
Beside me, Bao breathed the Five Styles as he rode, his expression at once fierce and calm. His diadh-anam burned as bright and clear as a bonfire within him, calling to mine. I took heart from it. Surely, if the Maghuin Dhonn Herself disapproved of what we meant to do, Her spark would not shine so brightly.