Tamara grunted with indifference. “You didn’t see the plane crash, did you?”
“No, comrade major,” Alexandra replied.
“Nor did you see the plane catch fire or the pilot bail out.”
“No, comrade major.”
My hands balled into fists at my side. “The plane was smoking worse than a barn fire,” I said. “There’s no way it didn’t go down.”
“I’m sorry, Nadya,” Tamara said, and for the first time since we started this conversation, I thought I heard some regret in her voice, though there wasn’t a hint of it in her posture. “If no one saw the plane crash or the pilot hit the silk, the best I can say is it was damaged. If our boys on the ground find the wreckage, then that will change. I’ll even see to it you get your bonus.”
“Bonus? What bonus?”
“There’s a thousand-ruble bounty on fighter kills,” she said. “Two thousand for bombers. I’m not saying you’re lying, but there are some who would for the money alone.”
A thousand rubles. God, what would I do with that? Send it home, I wagered, maybe donate some as well, but not before I bought some chocolate and a nice bottle of wine. Sadly, those were both luxury items and cost a fortune themselves. I stopped daydreaming when I realized I didn’t want the money. “Keep the bounty,” I said. “I want credit for the kill. That’s all.”
“No, Nadya. My decision stands.”
“This isn’t fair! I nearly got blown out of the sky coming back. The least you could do is say you’re glad I’m alive and here’s a little reward for your effort.”
“I’m glad you’re alive, but war isn’t fair and hopefully this will be a lesson on always watching your six,” Tamara said, taking a seat behind her desk and pulling the night’s scheduled assignments from a nearby folder. “Go rest. I’ll be pairing you and Alexandra together from here on out. If it’s any consolation, I’m sure the two of you will bring down another fighter. You two work well together.”
At this point I knew the conversation was over and that fueled my frustrations. I deserved that kill. I needed it. Not for my ego, but for my sanity. I had to show the world—myself—Martyona hadn’t died in vain and had saved someone who could do more than get shot down. “I don’t want a consolation. I want that kill, and I want the victory painted on my plane.”
Tamara slammed the desk with both hands and shot up from her seat. “You had your damn warning, Nadya. You’re spending the night in the box.”
I stood there, gaping at her, not so much because she’d come down on me, but because she was being so stubborn about it all. It was one lousy kill. “Why are you doing this to me?” I said. “Is it the end of the world if you credit me with a downed German?”
“First of all, I don’t have to justify myself to you,” she said, walking up to me and jabbing two fingers into my chest. “But to shut you up, it’s protocol, and everyone has to play by the same rules. If it’s not confirmed, it doesn’t count.”
“Or maybe you’re jealous I’m flying after my injuries and you’re not.”
Tamara’s jaw dropped almost as far as Alexandra’s did. Both of them looked as if they’d been clipped in the head by a wing tip, totally stupefied. Tamara was the first to regain her composure. “God, Nadya, you just don’t learn, do you?” she said. “You really are a dumb Cossack.”
I growled and wished I was the kind of person who would drive a fist into her teeth. I wasn’t that brave. So I did the next best thing. I let my tongue loose. “At least I’m a flying Cossack and not some bitter cripple stuck on the ground.”
Chapter Ten
Tamara hit me in the side of the head with a right cross. I remember that much. The next thing I knew I was on my back, staring at the box’s wood ceiling. It seemed damper than last time I saw it, but I was having trouble focusing and hoped it wasn’t a head injury causing the new look. Alexandra was kneeling at my side, stroking the top of my head and singing a lullaby. She was so out of tune, I wanted to jab a screwdriver through my eardrums.
“That must have been some blow,” she said, stopping everything she was doing. “Maybe you should have the doctor come.”
“No,” I said, sitting up. “I’ll be fine.”
“You don’t look fine. You look worse than my brother when he got kicked by a mule.”
“Well, if I blackout again you can call him.” I groaned as I touched a tender knot on the back of my head and again when I felt the side of my face. While I had doubts about my own prognosis, Doctor Ivan was not someone I wanted giving me a physical. “How long was I out for?”
“Long enough to make me worry,” she replied. “She hit you. You hit the floor. They dumped you here.”
“Do they know you’re visiting? If they catch you here, you’ll be in trouble too.”
Alexandra grinned. “I’m not a visitor.”
I couldn’t help but giggle like a schoolgirl who’d gotten trouble with a best friend. “What did you do?”
She shrugged sheepishly. “When she socked you, I had a few choice words for her. I think it redirected some of her rage at you to me. Valeriia let fly, too, but more respectfully than I’d managed.”
“Sorry.”
Alexandra shook her head. “Don’t be. I owe you my life. Sharing the box with you for a few days is the least I can do, especially if it means you not being sent away.”
“Away where?”
She shrugged. “Nowhere good, I imagine. Kazarinova’s first words when you hit the floor were something about you never flying again. That’s when I had to set things straight.”
My thoughts ran in a thousand directions. I wanted to dig more into what Tamara had said, but I feared my imagination paled to whatever she wanted to do to me. And all of this started from a dogfight that instead of being a celebratory one had made things worse.
“That was a huge risk you took when we were fighting,” I said. “I could have missed.”
“But you didn’t.”
“But I could have,” I said with a bite. My shoulders slumped, and I exhaled. “I’m sorry for snapping, but if he’d got you before I cleared your tail, I wouldn’t have been able to live with myself.”
“I wouldn’t have been able to live at all,” she said with a grin.
“Not funny.”
Alexandra tilted her head. “Why don’t you trust yourself more?”
“Why do you trust me at all?” I asked while brushing the dirt off my back and shoulders.
She laughed as if the answer was obvious. “Because you’re one of the few women here out of thousands and thousands who wanted to be a fighter pilot. That must mean you’re an amazing flyer.”
I was a capable flyer, yes, but this last month had taught me learning acrobatics in a flying club and surviving combat were completely different animals. I did appreciate her faith in me, and her sincerity helped. “Still, I should have been torn apart at the end.”
“Because they snuck up on us afterward? You still slipped away.”
Her words, though an attempt at comfort, shivered my soul. “I didn’t slip away,” I said. “That ace—the one who shot down Martyona—let me go.”
“Only because he couldn’t catch you. You fly better than you give yourself credit for.”
“No. I ditched his wingman, but he came along side me before saluting and peeling off. He could’ve had a letter sent to my parents if he wanted.”
Alexandra’s face paled. “Why do you think he didn’t shoot?”
I shrugged. “I think it would be easier to bite your own elbow than understand the twisted mind of such a man. I considered his guns might have jammed, but that’s too convenient of an answer. The man must be toying with me.”