"You think I don’t know that?" she said. "Jesus, just today-I made a big mistake and hurt someone I love. As an added bonus, I had to watch something I said cause my parents to have a huge fight. Oh, and let’s not forget, breaking down like a complete basket case on my boyfriend’s couch. This has not been a good day."
She took a deep breath, and snuggled into me. "You know what, though? I’ll take the tradeoff. Because if I cut myself off from the possibilities of all that bad stuff, I’m also cutting myself off from the possibilities of this," and she hugged me harder. "I’ll take the tradeoff. It’s definitely worth it."
"Well said," her father chipped in.
"No arguments here," I said. "I have not exactly been Mister Openness in the past, either," I told them, "and this week has given me some terrifying and unpleasant moments as well."
"Like catching Amanda with that other guy," her mother said.
"Well, yeah, but not for the reason you think." Her mother looked at me blankly. "I didn’t mind that she did it"-her mother looked at me in horror at that-"I minded that she did it behind my back." I took a deep breath. "I have a self-esteem problem, I know it. I’m convinced people think the worst of me. When I caught her with Eric today, because she was sneaking around, I figured that was it, I was gone, it was all over."
"He found out differently," Amanda said. "Even if I did have to beat it into him."
"Yeah," I agreed. "But, no, I was terrified of being dumped. Heck, I was terrified when I asked her out. The whole Program has terrified me. I was especially terrified when she told me…well…um…"
"That I wanted to go to bed with you?" Amanda giggled. "He was white as a ghost and almost drove off the road!" she said with glee. Her mother was still faintly horrified, but her father was suppressing a chuckle. "But that all worked out just fine, sweetie, now didn’t it?"
"I don’t think I want to know the details of that!" her mother said. But there was a hint of humor in her voice, too.
"OK, Mother, I’ll spare you that," Amanda giggled. "Anyhow, my point is, I-actually, we, both of us-have to work through this. I can’t run away from it, I can’t hide from it, and-more to the point-I don’t want to. I want this," and she snuggled me again.
"Agreed, on all counts," I said.
"I can only promise I’ll try, honey," her mother said. "Try to support you, and try to not be so overcontrolling."
"That’s a start," Amanda said. "And please tell me you two aren’t going to get a divorce!"
"We’re not going to get a divorce," her father said with a smile.
"Good. Because, I don’t care what you say, I would blame myself."
"None of this is your fault. None of it," her father said.
"Your father and I have some things we have to work out," her mother said. "But we will. We’ll work them out."
"And to that end," Amanda said, "I’m going to give you two some time alone tonight, how about that?"
"Excuse me?" her mother asked.
"I’m going home with Jared tonight."
"Ummm…well…" her mother stammered.
"I’m not in the mood to be alone," Amanda told her.
"Jared, your parents won’t have a problem with this?" she asked.
"No, ma’am," I said. "Me having my girlfriend stay over? This is mild, in my house. I’m the good child." Amanda cracked up laughing at that.
"The good child?" her mother asked.
"Oh, you have to meet his older sister, Tina," Amanda said through her giggles.
"She’s an experience," I agreed.
"I think I’ll take your word for that," Amanda’s mother said. "Look, Amanda, you’re going to do what you want. But, OK, I’ll admit it-your father and I could use some time alone."
"I know."
"I guess I’m going to have to accept this."
"I really do love your daughter, if that helps any," I told her.
"It does. Go. Get out of here."
"Come on up with me, sweetie, I need to grab some stuff." She led me up to her room. She grabbed a small bag and started piling stuff into it, toiletries and the like. "I’m surprised I didn’t get into more of a fight over this," she giggled.
"I think they’re shell-shocked," I commented.
"Could be. I think I’ve got everything. Let’s go."
"OK. Now, it’s not that I disapprove or anything, you understand," I said with a grin, "but I just want to make sure that it was deliberate that I didn’t see you pack any nightclothes."
"Clothes? In bed?" she laughed. " I’m not wearing ‘em in school, why wear them to bed?"
"You usually don’t share a bed," I pointed out.
"All the more reason to stay naked, don’t you think?" she smirked as she breezed by me.
CHAPTER TWENTY-EIGHT AMANDAOh, it felt good to get out of there!
My parents were all right when we left, but I just didn’t want to be there. I wanted to be with Jared. We pulled out onto the street, and he looked at me and smiled. "You OK?" he asked.
"You know what? I’m fine. This has, however, been the longest, most confusing, most emotional day of my life."
"Yeah, I’ll buy that. When I got that phone call from you, and Tina asked me what was up, and I told her that all hell had broken loose at your house, she said that the last two days had been quite the roller coaster ride for me."
"Luckily, roller coaster rides stop, eventually."
He cracked up laughing. "That’s exactly what I said to Tina. Jeez, we’re even starting to think alike."
"Now that’s scary," I deadpanned.
We got to his house, and went in. I heard his mother call, "Jared, is that you? Is Amanda OK?"
"I’m fine, Mrs. Wicklow," I called out.
She came out, Tina trailing behind. "Amanda! I didn’t expect to see you back here."
"Um, she’s going to stay the night, if that’s all right with you," Jared said.
"Of course," his Mom said. "You’re welcome any time. However, is everything really OK? You’re not, like, staying here because things are so bad at home, are you?"
"No," I told her. "But it’s been a long emotional day, my parents need some time alone, and-most importantly-I don’t want to be alone." I smiled at her. "It’s going to work out, I think, really. A lot of crap happened today, but I do believe it’ll be all right. It’s just that lying in my bed in my room all by myself, desperately trying to fall asleep, was about as appealing as bashing my head up against the wall."
"That’s fine-as I said, you’re welcome any time. Your parents know, yes?"
"Yeah, they know. Mom’s not thrilled, but she’s getting more accepting," I told her.
"Good. Now, you two, before you go downstairs and we don’t see you until tomorrow morning, get your butts in the kitchen and help Tina and I eat some of this ice cream. Before we eat it all and get fat!"
"Ah, you might have to worry about that, Mom," Tina said as we trailed Mrs. Wicklow into the kitchen. "*I* don’t." Tina was quite thin.
"Ah, yes, now, my dear daughter. Wait until you have a couple kids and see if you say that."
"I don’t know if I ever want kids," Tina said. "I think I do, someday-but, then again, I worry they might turn out like me."
Jared laughed at that, and said, "Yeah, but there’s the flip side, Tina. You might get lucky and get a few like me."
"Oh, please, no!" Tina laughed.
"If either of you decide to have kids, and you get kids that are mostly like either of you, you’ll be lucky," Jared’s mom said.
"Oh, Mom. You’re gonna get me all mushy." Jared teased. "Oh, Amanda, the ice cream is calling."
"I should pass, seeing as I’m already fat." I said.
"Where?" Tina snorted. "And don’t try to snow me, I’ve seen you naked."
"As have I, so shut up and eat your ice cream," Jared teased, setting a bowl in front of me.
I gave in and took a spoonful. But I said to Tina, "Yeah, Tina, but if we stood side-by-side naked, I think we’d know who the fat one was," I said.