‘You may be “do gur” — people with two virtues — but you are not Goras who have a thousand virtues. You cannot stop me.’
‘We can’t stop you, but these bayonets and slivers can certainly stop you; they have been made with the express purpose of doing so.’
‘Why have they been made?’
‘I don’t know; ask those who have made them.’
‘You are a Kashmiri.’
‘We don’t know. We are only Dogras. We are only slivers. We are only that which we are not. But we have been born from your existence. Go back — go back to Allahabad, the city famous for its guavas. We have been slicing guavas with our razor-sharp slivers and eating them. Go, go back lest we take you for an Allahabadi guava and eat you.’
‘I am a very emotional man. I can turn into a guava. But I cannot stand here and watch Nimrod1 play God. Your king is like Nimrod. He will never have the honour of turning into a guava2. I am a Kashmiri. I am a pear, a cherry, an apple. I can be whatever I want to be. Get out of here and ask the rest of the country who I am. My father was a pearl, a very rare pearl. Have you forgotten its lustre and its glory?’
‘What is done is done. Whatever has been strung is a pearl. Has he been strung?’
‘He wasn’t strung; he was tied up! In fact, he was even beaten up.’
‘Then he was no pearl. We never saw his “jyoti”.’
‘You didn’t see his “jooti”3 either; nor do you deserve to.’
‘Catch him.’
‘Catch him.’
‘Stop him, stop him at the point of your spears.’
‘I don’t care for your spears.’
‘Pick up this hothead, put him in a motor car and drop him beyond the boundaries of Kashmir.’
‘Well, he isn’t a bad sort, actually — though he does talk an awful lot of nonsense.’
‘Things that we weren’t taught.’
‘Catch him.’
‘Put him in the car.’
‘And leave him beyond the boundaries.’
‘Catch the brave, famous and emotional Indian leader — very, very carefully — as though you are picking up a baby. And imagine that you are putting him not in a motor car but placing him on a swing. And take the swing all the way back to the point where he first decided to become a nuisance for us. We are Dogras.’
‘We are do gure.’
‘I am Hari Singh.’
‘We are drunk on rum.’
‘And that is why we are standing at alert and respectful attention!’
‘Return the President’s carriage.’
‘So there, the division/partition has happened.’
‘What has been divided/partitioned?’
‘The subcontinent.’
‘The subcontinent?’
‘Who partitioned it?’
‘I am sorry, but I am a Hindu, and now my country is this Hindustan.’
‘Which Hindustan?’
‘The one that was given to us by Radcliffe4.’
‘Why do you need to be sorry, then?’
‘I need to. Don’t say anything — you are a Hindu now — your language should be Hindi.’
‘But the loincloth clad leader in our country had said….’
‘He shall be killed.’
‘But who will kill him?’
‘We shall kill him.’
‘You?’
‘Any man will be ready to rise from among us to kill such a communal man.’
‘Yes, this must be done.’
‘When?’
‘It shall happen in its own time.’
‘When will that time come?’
‘A great deal of speculation has happened at the right time. But it has been heard that the matter is not in the hands of the government servants and bureaucrats. It has been said that there is a God who is the highest officer of His department.’
‘And He brooks no interference, and does exactly as He pleases.’
‘He ought to be punished.’
‘For that, our Indian Penal Code will be of no use.’
‘What’s going on, brother?’
‘Assalam-wa-alaekum.’
‘Wa-alaekum as-salam.’
‘The greatest Islamic government in the world is about to become a reality.’
‘It has been heard that many bugles were sounded and many crackers were burst.’
‘Why? Was it shab-e-baraat5?’
‘Every revolution is a shab-e-baraat.’
‘But every shab-e-baraat is not the harbinger of a revolution.’
‘You talk rubbish. It looks like you are still entangled in the bonds of imperialism.’
‘And you are a bourgeois; you have empathy for the proletariat.’
‘Empathy be damned.’
‘This isn’t Saadat Hasan Manto speaking.’
‘Oh no, he died a long time ago. It is his stone-cold corpse speaking.’
‘From where?’
‘From the grave?’
‘How can that be? A fatwa has been issued against him declaring him to be a kafir, a non-believer. How can there be a grave for a kafir?’
‘It came up on its on.’
‘This is wrong. It can’t be. Make a general announcement. Let it be known: that this isn’t the grave of that scoundrel; it is the grave of some unknown dervish who was obscene only from inside and had been secretly getting treatment for his sickness.’
‘All right.’
‘All right.’
“It is more than all right; it is perfect.’
‘God is benevolent and merciful.’
‘May Manto also benefit from God’s mercy!’
‘Amen.’
‘Amen.’
‘This isn’t hell; it is heaven.’
‘Gar Firdaus bar-rooh-e zameen-ast
Hameen asto hameen asto hameen ast’
(If there is paradise anywhere on earth
It is here, it is here, it is here.6)
‘The traitor is scared.’
‘What does that mean?’
‘It means exactly what the rest of us mean.’
‘That means we shall certainly take Kashmir.’
‘Sure.’
‘The UNO shall decide.’
‘Decide what?’
‘Our fate.’
‘God used to take such decisions earlier.’
‘Now earthly “gods” decide the fates of earthly paradises.’
‘Who is this earthly “god”?’
‘He has several names. His name can be Rahim7. It can be Graham too. Let’s say it is Graham — that is if both the countries and its people accept that, or else…’
‘Or else?’
‘All else is nonsense.’
‘Bravo!’
‘Well said!’
‘Long live!’
‘We are the rightful claimants of paradise.’
‘Undoubtedly. What is the right Hindi equivalent for “undoubtedly”? The leader will find out from All India Radio and tell us. Will he understand what it means or not — we don’t know that as yet. He hasn’t said anything about it so far.’
‘Respected leader, we use the Hindi word for paradise; we call it “swarg”.’
‘I have heard this name for the first time today.’
‘How strange!’
‘The word you use for strange — “achrach” — I have heard that too for the first time today.’
‘It’s the lingo of the radio — it is the language that is breeding here, despite your presence amongst us.’
‘I am known for my foul tongue; I have no sarokar with this language.’
‘What’s that word you use? “Sarokar” 8? What does it mean?’
‘This “sarokar” has nothing to do with anything; it has to do with me, with my entire family. But forget about all this now. I want to tell you in no uncertain words — I want Kashmir, I want it because I was born there.’