"That I can't possibly tell you."
"Then you're on your own, Billy. Think about it. Your word against Grandma Moses. Picture the headlines: 'Sharpshooter Widow Gunned Me Down, Nude G-Man Claims.' "
Hawkins sagged dispiritedly. He said, The flip's name is Francis Kingsbury. You happy now?"
"Kingsbury?" Joe Winder raised his eyes to the heavens and cackled raucously. "The Mafia is coming down here to whack Mr. X!"
"Hey," Billy Hawkins said, "it's not funny."
But it was very funny to Joe Winder. "Francis X. Kingsbury. Millionaire theme-park developer and real-estate mogul, darling of the Chamber of Commerce, 1988 Rotarian Citizen of the Year. And you're telling me he's really a two-bit jizzbag on the run from the mob?"
Ecstatically, Joe Winder hopped from foot to foot, spinning in a circle and twirling Molly's quilt like a calico cape.
"Oh, Billy boy," he sang, "isn't this a great country!"
They were thirty minutes late to the airport because Danny Pogue insisted on watching the end of a National Geographic television documentary about rhinoceros poachers in Africa.
In the car he couldn't stop talking about the program. "The only reason they kill 'em, see, what they're after is the horns. Just the horns!" He put his fist on his nose to simulate a rhinoceros snout. "In some places they use 'em for sex potions."
"Get off it," said Bud Schwartz.
"No shit. They grind the horns into powder and put it in their tea."
"Does it work?"
"I don't know," Danny Pogue said. The TV didn't say."
"Like, it gives you a super big boner or what?"
"I don't know, Bud, the TV didn't say. They just talked about how much the powder goes for in Hong Kong, stuff like that. Thousands of bucks."
Bud Schwartz said, "You ask me, they left out the most important part of the show. Does it work or not?"
He drove into one of the airport garages and snatched a ticket from the machine. He parked on Level M, as always. "M" for Mother; it was the only way Bud Schwartz could remember how to find his car. He was annoyed that his partner wasn't sharing in the excitement of the moment: they were about to be rich.
"After today, you can retire," Bud Schwartz said. "No more b-and-e's. Man, we should throw us a party tonight."
Danny Pogue said, "I ain't in the mood."
They stepped onto the moving sidewalk and rode in silence to the Delta Airlines concourse. The plane had arrived on time, so the visitor already was waiting outside the gate. As promised, he was carrying a blue umbrella; otherwise Bud Schwartz would never have known that he was the hit man. He stood barely five feet tall and weighed at least two hundred pounds. He had thinning brown hair, small black eyes and skin that was the color of day-old lard. Under a herringbone sport coat he wore a striped polyester shirt, open at the neck, with a braided gold chain. The hit man seemed fond of gold; a bracelet rattled on his wrist when he shook Bud Schwartz's hand.
"Hello," said the burglar.
"You call me Lou." The hit man spoke in a granite baritone that didn't match the soft roly-polyness of his figure.
"Hi, Lou," said Danny Pogue. "I'm Bud's partner."
"How nice for you. Where's the car?" He pointed to a Macy's shopping bag near his feet. "That's yours. Now, where's the car?"
On the drive south, Danny Pogue peeked in the Macy's bag and saw that it was full of cash. Lou was up in the front seat next to Bud Schwartz.
"I wanna do this tomorrow," he was saying. "I gotta get home for my wife's birthday. She's forty." Then he farted loudly and pretended not to hear it.
"Forty? No kidding?" said Bud Schwartz. He had been expecting something quite different in the way of a mob assassin. Perhaps it wasn't fair, but Bud Schwartz was disappointed in Lou's appearance. For Francis Kingsbury's killer, he had envisioned someone taut, snake-eyed and menacing – not fat, balding and flatulent.
Just goes to show, thought Bud Schwartz, these days everything's hype. Even the damn Mafia.
From the back seat, Danny Pogue asked: "How're you gonna do it? What kinda gun?"
Lou puffed out his cheeks and said, "Brand X. The fuck do you care, what kinda gun?"
"Danny," Bud Schwartz said, "let's stay out of the man's private business, okay?"
"I didn't mean nothin'."
"You usually don't."
The man named Lou said, "This the neighborhood?"
"We're almost there," said Bud Schwartz.
"I can't get over all these trees," Lou said. "Parts a Jersey look like this. My wife's mother lives in Jersey, a terrific old lady. Seventy-seven years old, she bowls twice a week! In a league!"
Bud Schwartz smiled weakly. Perfect. A hit man who loves his mother-in-law. What next – he collects for the United Way?
The burglar said to Lou: "Maybe it's better if you rent a car. For tomorrow, I mean."
"Sure. Usually I do my own driving."
Danny Pogue tapped his partner on the shoulder and said, "Slow down, Bud, it's up here on the right."
Kingsbury's estate was bathed in pale orange lights. Gray sedans with green bubble lights were parked to block both ends of the driveway. Three men sat in each sedan; two more, in security-guard uniforms, were posted at the front door. It was, essentially, the complete private security force of the Amazing Kingdom of Thrills – except for Pedro Luz, who was inside the house, his wheelchair parked vigilantly at Francis Kingsbury's bedroom door.
Bud Schwartz drove by slowly. "Look at this shit," he muttered. Once they had passed the house, he put some muscle into the accelerator.
"An army," Lou said, "that's what it was."
Danny Pogue sank low in the back seat. With both hands he clutched the Macy's bag to his chest. "Let's just go," he said. "Bud, let's just haul ass."
TWENTY-NINE
On the morning of August 2, Jake Harp crawled into the back of a white limousine and rode in a dismal gin-soaked stupor to the construction site on North Key Largo. There he was met by Charles Chelsea, Francis X. Kingsbury and a phalanx of armed security men whose crisp blue uniforms failed to mitigate their shifty felonious smirks. The entourage moved briskly across a recently bulldozed plateau, barren except for a bright green hillock that was cordoned with rope and ringed by reporters, photographers and television cameramen. Kingsbury took Jake Harp by the elbow and, ascending the grassy knob, waved mechanically; it reminded Charles Chelsea of the rigidly determined way that Richard Nixon had saluted before boarding the presidential chopper for the final time. Except that, compared to Francis Kingsbury, Nixon was about as tense as Pee Wee Herman.
Jake Harp heard himself pleading for coffee, please God, even decaf, but Kingsbury seemed not to hear him. Jake Harp blinked amphibiously and struggled to focus on the scene. It was early. He was outdoors. The sun was intensely bright. The Atlantic Ocean murmured at his back. And somebody had dressed him: Izod shirt, Sansibelt slacks, tasseled Footjoy golf shoes. What could this be! Then he heard the scratchy click of a portable microphone and the oily voice of Charles Chelsea.
"Welcome, everybody. We're standing on what will soon be the first tee of the Falcon Trace Championship Golf Course. As you can see, we've got a little work ahead of us...."
Laughter. These numbnuts are laughing, thought Jake Harp. He squinted at the white upturned faces and recognized one or two as sportswriters.
More from Chelsea: "...and we thought it would be fun to inaugurate the construction of this magnificent golfing layout with a hitting clinic."
Jake Harp's stomach clenched as somebody folded a three-wood into his fingers. The golf pro stared in disgust: a graphite head. They expect me to hit with metal!
Charles Chelsea's well-tanned paw settled amiably on Jake Harp's shoulder; the stench of Old Spice was overpowering.