For that, she loved him all the more.
* * *
The text message tone roused him, but in truth he hadn’t yet fallen asleep. He crawled into bed after making it home, figuring he was in no shape to do much else, anyway. Screw classes. The hell with homework. Fuck going out.
Fuck everything right now. He’d deal with the world tomorrow.
Still, Jason reached out from his blankets and pillows to fumble for his phone. The message was exactly what he expected: “You hungry?” Drew had asked. Another text quickly followed: “Wade and I are up for whatever.”
Jason let out a sigh. He knew what brought this on. He had good friends. “No, I’m good. Just sleeping. TTYL,” he texted back, and then dropped the phone off the side of his bed. It thumped onto the carpet with a sound much like a doorbell.
Wait. Doorbell? I have a doorbell? It rang again, confirming its existence. Shit, he thought, might as well see who it is.
A hope teased at the edges of his mind, but he pushed that aside. He plainly didn’t have that kind of luck. Clad in gym shorts and an old t-shirt, Jason rolled out of bed and shuffled to the door.
“Hi,” said Amber.
Jason blinked at her and then looked out the door to check the hallway. She stood there alone, hands in her pockets and an unreadable expression on her face. He stepped on his urges to say anything mean. For all he knew, she’d walk away right then and there. “Hi. What’s up?” he asked.
“Can I come in?”
Again, he stopped himself from saying anything witty. He stepped aside to let her in and closed the door behind her.
“Did I wake you up?”
“No, not really,” he yawned. “Drew took care of that for you.”
“I couldn’t talk to you before,” she said. “After the fight, I mean. Or before it. Not after the arrest and everything.”
“Seemed like you didn’t want to talk.”
“No,” she shook her head, “I did. I just had a lot to do. I’ve still got a lot to do. I thought about just calling you, but the phone seemed… cowardly.”
Jason didn’t bother to hide his frown. “You kinda gave me the let-down spiel right before you put the cuffs on me.” He saw the pained look on her face and shrugged. “I’m just saying if that’s what you’re here for, you don’t need to be. I get it. Don’t repeat it. The first time was enough.”
“That’s not it,” Amber said. “At least that’s not why I wanted to come over. It’s not like I wanted this to play out the way it did, and…” She rubbed her eyes. “Look, I’m exhausted and good people I knew are dead and I got an official ‘for the record’ reaming for how things went down with you and I. If shit wasn’t so crazy, I’d probably have lost my job over how I handled things with you. Bridger’s in just as much trouble, too, actually. But with the task force so chewed up like this, I guess they just want to hang on to what they’ve got, and let us off with… sorry,” she sighed. “I’m babbling.”
He said nothing.
“I’m babbling, and you’re still listening to me. After everything.”
“Does that not happen to you much?”
“No. Actually. Not like you.”
Jason shrugged. “I’m listening. Kinda said all I had to say last night after I saved your life.”
“I saved your butt a couple times in the last week.”
“Sure. Not saying you didn’t.”
“I could’ve taken that freak last night, too,” she frowned.
“Yeah, I know, you’re not a damsel in distress, and I’m not the hero,” he shook his head. “I’m just the sidekick.”
“Jason,” she said, “who’s the real hero in Lord of the Rings?”
“Samwise. Duh. Why?”
“Don’t call yourself just the sidekick. Ever. Your friends wouldn’t, and neither would I.” She paused. “You know the answers to questions like that, and you listen to me when I talk. Jason… did you mean what you said last night?”
“Yeah,” he nodded. “I thought you didn’t believe me. Or didn’t care.”
“No. No, I didn’t exactly hear it, because my ears were still ringing and everything was crazy, but it sounded like you said you weren’t mad and you’re still interested in me.”
He thought back. “I’m pretty sure it sounded smoother than that at the time.”
“Listen, I know I’m on this big secret task force thing, but it’s not like I want this to be my whole life, y’know? I plan to stay on, but it’s not because I want it to be like this all the time. I don’t envy your friends or anything. I want to come home to a normal guy and a normal relationship.”
“There is no such thing as normal.”
“No, I know,” Amber nodded, “but do you get what I mean?” She searched his eyes for understanding. “I don’t need you to be a big hero. I know you’re a hero. That might be great when things hit the fan, but really I just want someone I can trust and who will listen to me and be supportive and fun and be… you.”
He read the tension on her face and in her voice as she spoke. For all Jason had said and done, Amber knew better than to think she could just come in and sweep him off his feet after all that had happened. She seemed as ready to have her heart broken as he was.
Rather than prolong it, Jason stepped in and gently kissed her. Whatever else she might have had to say vanished under the tentative brushing of their lips, which soon built into an embrace and heavier affection. Excitement and hope banished her fatigue as her body came alive with his touch.
“This is going to be seriously complicated,” she warned him.
“We’re smart,” he said. “We’ll figure it out.”
* * *
“Oh yes baby justlikethat fuckyes pleasedon’tstop mnh, mnh, mnnnhhh.”
“Rachel?”
“What?” she blinked with a gasp, looking up at the sound of her name. She sat alone on a bench outside the cathedral, where she hoped no one would notice her heavy breath or the way her body trembled. Fearing she’d been busted, Rachel stood and faced her new company.
Hannah tilted her head curiously. “Am I interrupting anything? I thought you might be in prayer from the way you were whispering.”
“Hah! Um. Well,” she scratched at her head, relaxing somewhat once she saw that Hannah was alone, “I wouldn’t call it prayer, but it’s certainly a kind of communion. Uh…” she stepped in closer and whispered, “Remember how I told you about how I kinda share things with Alex?”
“Yes,” said the other angel, not quite blushing but unable to stifle an amused twist of her lips. “You need not elaborate-”
“Alex and Lorelei are fucking each other out of their minds,” she all but squeaked.
Chagrined, Hannah sighed. “Will you be alright?”
Rachel nodded. “I feel fucking great. I’m afraid that’s the problem!”
“I imagine this happens quite often? You haven’t had a problem controlling this before.”
“No, and I’m pretty proud of myself for keeping it together right now, too, but that doesn’t mean it’s not a challenge.” Rachel stopped, took in a long and quivering breath that she let out with a shudder.
Hannah watched and waited through that long breath, and the next. “Better?”
“Yeah, that’s not remotely the end of it,” warned Rachel.
“The others are assembled,” said Hannah, turning the conversation toward the business at hand. “Lawrence and I have already spoken with Donald. His defense rests entirely on the premise that his actions served a greater good at the expense of his charges, but… well, I already know that will hold little weight with the assembly. I don’t believe Donald’s previous reputation as a fine guardian will save him, either, in light of how all this calls his past accomplishments into question. This hearing will not provide the sort of surprises yours held. You have only to walk in and lay the charges. I suspect you will not even need to stay for the whole proceeding if you have other things to do.”
Rachel shook her head, though a note of excitement escaped her throat. “No,” she said, “I’m here for the long haul. Not gonna rush out on my job to jump into bed.” She paused. “Which only makes me more pissed at him.”