I read the headlines. Each of the men had been announced a winner in a high-stakes professional poker tournament. One in Vegas. One in New Jersey. And one in Los Angeles. Winnings totaling two hundred forty-seven thousand dollars. “This can’t be right,” I said, even though something in my gut told me it was. “My father’s a professional gambler?”
“I’m sorry, I never meant to tell you,” Jeremy said quietly, reaching for my hand.
I tucked it under my arm before he could take it, needing time alone in my own heart to process what I’d learned. I pressed my forehead to the glass as the peaks of the roller coasters came into view and the bus became charged with a thrill-ride buzz.
“Are you mad at me?” he asked.
I wanted to be. He’d kept things from me. Important things. But I’d be a hypocrite to be angry with him. Of course Jeremy resented my father. Jeremy’d stolen from his dad to cover our rent. He bought me breakfast and drove me to school. And in five years, I’d never missed a class trip— because Jeremy always paid for my ticket, never asking anything in return.
He was still looking at the empty place where my hands had been. The expression on his face made my chest ache a little. I pulled on my hood and folded back the armrest so I could curl up against his shoulder. He rested his cheek on my head.
“Thanks for today,” I said quietly.
His sad smile said my gratitude was almost but not quite enough.
19
Teddy’s laughter was contagious. He’d nagged me about this “date” on the carousel all semester, and it had loomed like an obligation for the past three months. Just one more expectation to fulfill.
But it ended up being strangely freeing. Everything—the creepy ads, the scholarship, Jeremy’s moods, what I’d learned about my dad, Reece’s fight . . . even Marcia—all just slipped away as I gripped Teddy’s hand, content to be with someone who didn’t expect anything more from me than this moment.
I almost didn’t notice Jeremy’s reflection in the mirrored hub. Almost didn’t see Reece leaning against the metal rails. The weight of their combined stares seemed to drag the ride to a stop.
Teddy swung my hand back and forth as he escorted me down the platform. Jeremy stepped forward to meet us.
“I can take it from here, champ.” He looked at our joined hands and gave Teddy a wan smile.
Part of me wanted to drag Teddy back on the carousel for another round, but the look on Jeremy’s face told me he wasn’t in the mood to wait.
“Thanks for the date, Teddy.” My face hurt from laughing and I squeezed his hand one last time. He darted in and kissed my cheek, blushing hot against it.
“I had a very nice time with you, Leigh.” Teddy spoke with formal precision, as though he’d practiced each word. He let go of my hand, taking his joyfulness with him as he skipped off. His voice rose high over the crowd where his friends waited. “I had a date! With a girl! I had a date!”
I smoothed down my sticky grin, but it popped back in place. I watched him disappear into the crowds, part of me already missing him.
Jeremy glowered and I put my hands in my pockets, returning my attention to his impatient face.
“What’s eating you?”
“I don’t get it,” he said sourly. “You’ll hold hands with someone like Teddy . . . let him kiss you. . . .”
“What’s that supposed to mean?”
The carousel’s organ started again. Jeremy scowled, refusing to say more. Which was probably smart. I didn’t like his implication that there was anything wrong with Teddy. Or the assumption he had any right to decide who I should be kissing.
“Am I interrupting something?” Reece peeled off his sunglasses and assumed a relaxed pose by my side. Jeremy’s face was a flipbook of emotion. He took in Reece’s battered eye and swollen lip, his expression morphing from anger to confusion, then fear.
“No,” I said, my eyes still drilling a hole through Jeremy. “You’re not interrupting anything.”
“Then he won’t mind if I borrow you for a while.” Reece turned up his palm in invitation.
I looked down at Reece’s hand and a thrill raced through me, but I couldn’t do it. I left it hanging in the air.
“What are you doing here?” Jeremy asked him, emboldened by my hesitation. “I thought you were suspended.”
Reece shrugged. “It’s a public park. I bought a ticket.”
“Yeah, so did I! For Nearly!”
I stepped back, jaw hanging open as if Jeremy had slapped me. He’d crossed a line. I was no rent-a-girl.
Without a word, I slipped my sleeve over my fingers and reached for Reece’s hand.
Reece guided me through the sweet fried funnel cake smells, past roller coasters and bumper cars, until we were climbing to a shady wooden platform. I stopped midway, holding up the line for the log flumes.
“What are we doing here?”
“What’s it look like we’re doing?” He squinted at me through his puffy purple eye, and the butterfly bandage crimped the skin.
“I’m sorry.” I gestured to his broken face. “Does it hurt?”
“I’m fine. Believe me, I’ve been through worse.” He tried to smile, but the split in his lip was tight and swollen, threatening to crack. “But if you want to make me feel better. . .” He arched an eyebrow toward the ride. People barked behind us to keep the line moving.
“Okay! Just quit bleeding already!”
Reece laughed, and I followed him up the ramp to the boarding platform. He took the backseat of a narrow boat, and I dropped a cautious foot into the front, but the attendant stopped me. “Oh, no, sweetheart. Two to a seat.” She ushered the next couple into the front and nudged me. There was only one seat left, and it was in Reece’s lap.
“What are you waiting for?” he teased.
My stomach did that flip thing. The attendant nudged me again and I fumbled my way into the boat. Reece grabbed the back of my sweatshirt and pulled me down between his legs.
My face was on fire as the boat rocked away from the platform and sluiced down the flume. I leaned forward, gripping the metal rails. After a few easy turns, the boat lurched onto the first incline and the gears ground us upward with a slow steady click, click, click. Gravity pulled me back against his chest. It was hard and soft at the same time, and even as I clenched my stomach muscles, I felt myself sink into him as the boat climbed higher. My head rested in the hollow of his shoulder, his neck too close to my temple. I concentrated on the water, reminded myself of the steep drop at the end of the ride, but all I could feel was the rise and fall of his breathing, how steady it was compared to mine.
“Are you scared?” He breathed in my ear, but I felt it everywhere.