I smiled to myself. That is why Amber and I were friends. “Oh well, not too much longer and we’ll be in Mammoth.”
“So excited! I can’t wait to see the snow! Well, and stay with your brothers in a cozy cabin.”
I started choking on the muffin and grabbed for my coffee to help it go down. “Seriously, Amber, gross! I’m going to tell my mom you suddenly have the bubonic plague or something, and can’t come with us.”
“Now that’s just not nice.”
“Admit it, you only love me because of my brothers.”
She shrugged and made a face at me. “It’s true.”
I laughed and cautiously put another piece of the muffin in my mouth, speaking around it. “Bitch.”
“Your favorite bitch. And don’t be all lame just because you won’t make a move with the neighbor dude.”
I paused from grabbing my coffee, and laughed sadly. “Yeah, well, like I said . . . that won’t be happening.”
Pulling out my phone, I sent Connor a text and vowed to get it through my head that he was just my older brothers’ friend, and my neighbor. Nothing more. I also told myself that the girl in his apartment this morning wouldn’t bother me, nor would any other girl after her. Nothing was about to bring down my mood today.
Connor
I ARMY-CRAWLED AFTER my nephew and scrambled away when he stopped, and obviously started making good use of his diaper.
“Ugh! Oh my God, that is—” I gagged and brought my shirt up over my mouth and nose. “How do you deal with that?”
My sister laughed loudly and waited until my nephew started crawling again before going to pick him up. “When it’s your kid, it’s different. You do it because it needs to be done.”
“No, no! God, Amy! Wait until I’m out of the room before you start changing him. You trying to kill me or something?”
“Chill, jeez. I still have to get the diaper bag and get him ready.” She walked toward me with little Ben and I practically ran to the kitchen. “It is good to see you though, Connor.”
I raised an eyebrow at her, still keeping my shirt over the bottom half of my face. “I see you every Saturday morning unless I’m working.”
“I know, but ever since that girl who—”
“Amy,” I said her name in warning.
“Ever since that girl who went back to Texas, you haven’t been the same. I don’t know what’s happened to you since you came over last week, but you’re a completely different person. You’re back to my little brother . . . well, almost.”
I shrugged, and let the hand that wasn’t holding my shirt go out before dropping back to my side. “I’m always me.”
“No, and you know what I’m talking about. Just because you think you hide it from me, doesn’t mean I don’t see it. There’s still something today, you’re not completely back yet, but it’s a huge difference.”
I nodded, not knowing what to say. I didn’t know what to think or say about there being that much of a difference when I’d thought I’d been hiding everything from her. She’d spent so much time protecting me from our bastard father when we were little that I’d been trying to protect her from any and everything ever since we’d been adopted from him. Including my own struggles. Amy had known about Cassidy, but she hadn’t known how hard it had been for me after—or apparently she had.
And I didn’t know what to do about the fact that everything she was seeing had everything to do with the girl next door.
The girl I couldn’t feel this way about.
The girl whose god-awful singing, as she blasted the Christmas music she loved so much, had Amy and me cracking up just half an hour ago.
The same girl who, just last night, might have gotten engaged to that fucking creep who did nothing but degrade her.
My phone went off in my pocket, pulling me out of the memories that were sure to piss me off all over again. Grabbing it, my eyes widened when I saw her name, and I hurried to open the text.
Maci Price: All things considered, it’s not your place to tell me who I should and shouldn’t be with . . . or to give an opinion on my life at all. Watch yourself, Detective. We wouldn’t want people thinking you’re jealous or give a shit.
I gripped my phone in my hand and started storming out of my apartment, grabbing my keys on the way.
“Where are you going?”
“I’ll be right back,” I answered, and avoided looking where she was changing Ben.
As soon as my door was open, I kicked the box of oatmeal bath packets sitting there out of my way and went next door. When Maci’s door didn’t immediately open, I unlocked it and let myself in to walk through the apartment as I called her name. Nothing. Pulling up her contact in my phone, I pressed on her name and ground my jaw when it went straight to voice mail.
“It’s Connor. We’re talking about this when you get home.”
I locked her door behind me and walked back into my apartment. Amy was standing there holding her son, a confused look on her face that slowly started changing.
“I’m sorry, I just had to—”
“What is going on between you and Maci Price?”
My eyebrows shot up. “Nothing, she’s just driving me insane right now.”
She hitched Ben higher up on her hip and pursed her lips at me. Ah fuck. She was in mom mode. “I know you’re lying to me, and why do I have a feeling she has something to do with the difference I’m seeing in you?”
I sucked at lying to my sister. Especially when she went into mom mode. Throwing my hands out to the side, I let my keys fall to the floor before bringing my hands back to grip my hair. “She’s a Price, Amy. They would fu”—I glanced at Ben and tried to filter myself—“freaking murder me.”
Amy gasped and a massive smile crossed her face as she dropped to the couch. “How long has this been going on?”
“That’s just it,” I laughed humorlessly. “It hasn’t been. Nothing’s happened between us.”
“Connor.”
“I’m being honest. Nothing has happened, and nothing will. She’s my best friends’ sister, I can’t touch her.”
And apparently I’d done something to fuck up anything that could have happened between us . . . and I had no idea what exactly that was.
Maci
AFTER HOURS OF shopping, then decorating Amber’s apartment and my own, we were finally done. I had a smile on my face that only this time of year could put there, but there was still something missing. Christmas was my favorite holiday, and I loved decorating day more than anything, but I still hadn’t gotten Connor or his words out of my mind.
Amber flopped down next to me on the couch and admired our work. “We did good.”
“That we did.”
“Hey”—she elbowed me—“what’s going on? You’re usually bouncing off the walls and I can’t get you to stop playing Elf or singing Christmas music. You’re just kind of . . . blah today. Is it still what Bryce said?”
“Kind of.” I shrugged. Barely. I couldn’t forget his words if I tried. But it was Connor who was ruining my day, and I hated that I let him have that much power over me.
“Fuck him, Maci. He’s a douche, and I think he did you a favor by finally showing his true self. Now you can move on and find someone else.”
Was it sad that I couldn’t figure out if she was talking about Connor or Bryce, even though I knew she didn’t have a clue about Connor?
“I don’t want to find someone else . . . I just want to forget about him.” Forget the words he’d said. Forget that I’d let myself think he might feel something. Forget the other girls in his apartment. Forget it all.
“Then let’s do it! Let’s forget the bastard!” Amber shouted and jumped off the couch, jolting me from my thoughts. I hadn’t realized I’d said any of that out loud and was glad I hadn’t said Connor’s name.