Wyler nodded. ‘There's mention of that in your compufile. Rose, I think.’
‘Roseanne. She died in the San Francisco riots eight years ago. She was only seventeen.’
‘I'm sorry.’
‘She wasn't a participant on either side. She was one of those innocent bystanders who is so more apt to get hurt than the ringleaders or the officers. At least we found her body and I had something to cremate.’
Wyler maintained a half-embarrassed silence.
Fisher said finally, ‘She was only seventeen. Our parents died’ - he brushed his hand to one side, as though indicating it was not something he wished to discuss - ‘when she was four and I was fourteen. I worked after school and I saw to it that she was fed, and clothed, and comfortable, even when I was not. I taught myself programming - not that I ever made a decent living out of that either - and then, when she was seventeen, when she had never hurt a soul, when she didn't even know what all the fighting and shouting was about, she was simply trapped-’
Wyler said, ‘I can see why you volunteered for Rotor.’
‘Oh yes. For a couple of years I was just numb. I joined the Office partly to keep my mind occupied and partly because I thought there would be danger in it. I rather looked forward to death for a while - if I could manage to do something useful en route. When the problem of placing an agent on Rotor was discussed, I volunteered for it. I wanted to get off Earth.’
‘And now you're back. Do you regret that?’
‘A little bit, yes, but Rotor choked me. With all its faults, Earth has room. If only you could have seen Roseanne, Garand. You have no idea. She wasn't pretty, but she had such eyes.’ Fisher's own eyes were focused on the past, a slight pucker between his brows as though he were peering hard to clearly focus. ‘Beautiful eyes, but frightening ones. It seemed to me that I could never meet them without feeling nervous. She could look right into you - if you know what I mean.’
‘Actually, I don't,’ said Wyler.
Fisher paid no attention. ‘She always knew when you were lying or hiding the truth. You couldn't be silent without her guessing what the trouble was.’
‘You're not going to tell me she was a telepath.’
‘What? Oh no. She used to say she read expressions and listened to intonations. She said no-one could hide what they were thinking. No matter how you laughed, you could not hide the tragic undercurrent; no smile sufficed to hide bitterness. She tried to explain, but I could never grasp what it was she did. She was something special, Garand. I was in awe of her. And then my child was born. Marlene.’
‘Yes?’
‘She had the same eyes.’
‘The baby had your sister's eyes?’
‘Not immediately, but I watched them develop. When she was six months old, those eyes made me flinch.’
‘Your wife flinched, too?’
‘I never noticed her being affected, but then, she never had a sister Roseanne. Marlene hardly cried at all; she was peaceful. I remember Roseanne was like that as a baby. And Marlene didn't show any signs that she was going to be particularly pretty either. It was as though Roseanne had come back to me. So you see how hard it turned out to be.’
‘Coming back to Earth, you mean.’
‘Doing that and leaving them behind. It was like losing Roseanne a second time. I'll never see her now. Never!’
‘But you came back anyway.’
‘Loyalty! Duty! But if you want the truth, I almost didn't. I was standing there, torn. Torn apart, I was desperately wanting not to leave Roseanne - Marlene. You see, I confuse the names. And Eugenia - my wife - said to me in a heartbroken way, “If you knew where we were going, you wouldn't be so ready to turn back.” And at that moment I didn't want to leave. I asked her to come to Earth with me. She refused. I asked her to let me take Ro - Marlene, at least. She refused. And then, when I might have given in and stayed, she went wild and ordered me out. And I went.’
Wyler stared at Fisher reflectively. ‘ “If you knew where we were going, you wouldn't be so ready to turn back.” Is that what she said?’
‘Yes, that's what she said. And when I said, “Why? Where is Rotor going?”, she said, “To the stars.” ’
‘That can't be right, Crile. You knew they were planning to go to the stars, but she said, “If you knew where we were going-” There was something you didn't know. What was it you didn't know?’
‘What are you talking about? How can anyone know what he doesn't know?’
Wyler shrugged it off. ‘Did you tell this to the Office during the debriefing?’
Fisher considered. ‘I guess not. I didn't even think of it till I started telling you the story about how I nearly stayed.’ He closed his eyes, then said slowly, ‘No, this is the first time I've talked about that. It's the first time I've let myself think about it.’
‘Very well, then. Now that you think about it - where was Rotor going? Did you hear any speculations on Rotor about that? Any rumors? Any guesses?’
‘The assumption was that it would be to Alpha Centauri. Where else? It's the nearest star.’
‘Your wife was an astronomer. What did she say about it?’
‘Nothing. She never discussed it.’
‘Rotor sent out the Far Probe.’
‘I know.’
‘And your wife was involved - as an astronomer.’
‘She was, but she never discussed it either, and I was careful not to do so. My mission would have been aborted, and perhaps I might have been imprisoned - or executed, for all I know - if I displayed an unhealthy curiosity too openly.’
‘But as an astronomer, she would know the destination. She as much as said so. “If you knew-” You see? She knew and if you knew, too-’
Fisher didn't seem interested. ‘Since she didn't tell me what she knew, I can't tell you.’
‘Are you sure? No casual remarks whose significance you didn't note at the time? After all, you're not an astronomer and she might have said something you didn't quite get. Do you remember anything at all she said that set you to puzzling?’
‘I can't think of anything.’
‘Think! Is it possible that the Far Probe located a planetary system around one or both of the Sun-like stars of Alpha Centauri?’
‘I can't say.’
‘Or planets about any star?’
Fisher shrugged.
‘Think!’ said Wyler urgently. ‘Is there any reason for you to think that she meant, “You think we're going to Alpha Centauri, but there are planets circling it and we're heading for those.” Or could she have meant, “You think we're going to Alpha Centauri, but we're going to another star where we're sure there will be a useful planet.” Something like that?’
‘I couldn't possibly guess.’
Garand Wyler's generous lips compressed themselves tightly for a moment. Then he said, ‘I'll tell you what, Crile, my old friend. There are three things that are going to happen now. First, you're going to have to undergo another debriefing. Second, I suspect we're going to have to persuade the Ceres Settlement to allow us the use of their asteroid telescope, and use it to inspect, very closely, every star within a hundred light-years of the Solar System. And, third, we'll have to whip our hyperspatialists into jumping a little higher and farther. You watch and see if that's not what happens.’
9. Erythro
There were times, once in a while, once in an ever longer while as the years passed (or so it seemed to him), when Janus Pitt found time to sit back in his chair, alone and silent, and just allow his mind to relax. Those were moments when there were no orders to give, no information to absorb, no immediate decisions to make, no farms to visit, no factories to inspect, no regions in space to penetrate, no-one to see, no-one to listen to, no-one to foil, no-one to encourage-
And always when such times came, Pitt allowed himself the final and least exhaustible luxury - that of self-pity.
It was not that he would have anything different than what it was. He had planned for all his adult life to be Commissioner because he thought that no-one could run Rotor as he could; and now that he was Commissioner, he still thought so.