“What are you doing?” Seth asked.
“I don’t know. My stomach feels all light.”
“It’s the drink. You’ll feel better if you just sit down. I’ll get you a shirt. Just hold on a sec.”
I looked up then. Seth had moved to the dresser, rummaging through the drawers. His back was to me—a vulnerable position—and he seemed to be concentrating awful hard on finding a shirt.
A new, although somewhat old, idea consumed me. I don’t think I’d ever moved so quietly in my life. I was ninja stealth. Seth didn’t realize until it was too late. He shot up and whipped around, eyes wide.
“Alex, just let me get you a shirt. Stay put.” He moved to the left.
I followed him, shadowing his movements much like I did in training. Giving up on the shirt, he darted away from the dresser—away from me. But I was quicker. Once again, I had my arms around him. Then an even better idea took over.
“Kiss me?” I asked.
CHAPTER 24
SETH TIPPED HIS HEAD BACK, SIGHING LOUDLY. “ALEX, YOU DON’T want this. It’s the drink.”
“That’s not true. Nothing’s wrong with me. Don’t you want to kiss me?”
“It’s not about what Iwant.” He clasped my arms. “I’m not doing this when you’re like this.”
“I’m not drunk,” I said indignantly.
“You were just dancing like some wood nymph five minutes ago. You took off your shirt and now you’re latched onto me like a little monkey. So don’t tell me you’re in complete control of yourself.”
Damn. When he said it like that, I had to stop and think about what I was doing. Thinking lasted all of five seconds, maybe six. Thinking was overrated. “You want to kiss me and you liked kissing me last night.”
Seth made a low sound in his throat as he grabbed my shoulders, giving me a little shake. “Do you know why you feel this way right now? It has nothing to do with me or you,” he said roughly. “Someone wanted to ruin you, Alex. They wanted to get you on your back with some pure so you’d be removed from the Covenant and placed into servitude. Don’t you get it? This— thisis not you.”
“No. This is me, really me .Or the connection thingy, but who cares? I want you to kiss me again. I like you, Seth. I really don’t know why. You’re arrogant and rude, but I like you. Don’t you like me?”
“Alex.” He said my name as if he was in some sort of exquisite pain. “I’m trying to be a good guy right now, and you’re not helping.”
“I don’t want you to be a good guy.”
He choked on his laugh. “You are making this really hard.”
I pressed against him. “You’re making this harder.”
His hands slid down my arms again, sending shivers over me. Could it be possible to be so hot and so cold all at once? “Alex.”
“Seth.”
“There are a lot of things I want to do to you right now, but it wouldn’t be right.”
I tipped my head back and looked him in the eye. Faint marks of the Apollyon started to creep across his face. “Don’t you want to kiss me?” I reached up, running my fingers over his parted lips. “I know you do. I can tell.”
Seth’s grip tightened and his eyes fell shut. I slipped a hand under the hem of his shirt. He inhaled and tried to step back, but I followed him… a bit too closely. My leg got snared with his. For someone normally so graceful, he wasn’t right then. He went down, half on his side and half on his back.
And I, well, I was right where I wanted to be. Giggling, I pressed my mouth to his neck. “Yay me,” I murmured against his skin.
Seth jerked his head back, but his hands dropped to my hips, fingers digging through the denim. “Alex! Get off—”
I lowered my mouth to his. Seth pushed at me, but I had a really good hold on him and he didn’t push too hard. And then he stopped pushing me and was pulling me closer—so close that I melted into nothing. Restraint and good intentions vanished when my lips brushed over his. This kiss wasn’t soft or filled with tentative exploration. Seth’s hands got tangled in my hair, and for a while, I got lost in that kiss, lost in all the insane sensations. Then his hands were on my shoulders, my back, and then the clasp of my bra. Seth’s lips never left mine once, not even when he rolled me onto my back.
Things kind of got beautifully out of control at that point. His shirt came off. My jeans ended up clear across the room. My fingers found the button on his jeans and so on. Crazy as it sounded, Seth held back when I tugged him closer, lifted off me when I tried to wrap myself around him. And even though my body burned for more—demanded it, really—a small nagging voice picked up in the back of my mind, asking questions I didn’t want to answer. Pointing out that this wasn’treal. Or was it? I didn’t know anymore. I knew I should care, but I didn’t. Everything became about feeling.
Seth’s lips moved across my skin. His hands cupped my cheek before drifting down. My own hands followed his lead, mimicking everything he did until the tips of my fingers no longer felt tingly, but numb instead.
Seth pulled away again, his breathing heavy and ragged as his fingers traced the curve of my neck. “I shouldn’t do this. Not when you’re like this, but I can’t help myself. What does that say about me?”
His words confused my already jumbled thought process, but then he kissed me again. This was the powerful, deep kind—the kind I’d had little experience in handling. Only once had I been kissed like this.
Aiden.
Oh, myAiden. My heart, the very air I breathed equaled Aiden. But his name disappeared in the mad rush of Seth’s touch. I shifted restlessly, needing to be closer, and I thought I’d moved at first, but I hadn’t moved at all. I tried to again, but my body wouldn’t respond.
“We should stop here, Angel,” Seth whispered against my lips, even as he slid a hand under my hip, lifting me, bringing me closer.
Closer.Hadn’t that been what I wanted all long? Didn’t I still want that? I just couldn’t get closer. My hands slipped off his back and then my arms fell limply to my sides.
Seth lifted his head and two bright, nearly iridescent eyes filled my vision. They were hazy, clouded with passion. I think he frowned, but then his face blurred in and out.
“Alex? What…? Oh, hell.”
Concern replaced lust, passion—whatever he’d felt. He sat back, pants sliding low on his hips as he pulled me into his lap. “Alex, are you in there?” He brushed the hair off my face.
“I’m… so tired. Sorry…”
He smiled, but it rang false. “I know. It’s okay.”
I shivered, unable to wrap my arms around myself. Where had all that heat gone?
Seth got his other arm around me and stood, cradling me like he’d had a lot of experience carrying girls. Judging by his recent actions, I think he did. He placed me on the bed and hovered over me. “You still there?”
I blinked slowly, his face going in and out. “I’m… sleepy.”
“Okay.” Seth leaned in and brushed his lips over my forehead. I squeezed my eyes shut, stomach twisting when he disappeared.
A few seconds later, he returned to my side and helped me get into a shirt that fell to my knees. Things were kind of hazy after that. Numbness settled so deep in my bones, I started to believe that my limbs weren’t connected anymore. Unable to move, unable to say more than a few words at a time, I lay there and tried to figure out what was going on with my body.
Lust and all those other warm, wonderful feelings had vanished. So had the numbness, and in their place was a godsawful feeling in the pit of my stomach. I squeezed my eyes shut again and tried to breathe through the sharp rise of nausea. It didn’t help. A twisting and churning motion swept through me. Oh, gods, this wasn’t going to be good. I was going to puke. I could feel—taste it—and I couldn’t move. A soft whimper escaped my lips.
The bed dipped beside me and a warm hand brushed across my cheek. “You hanging in there?”