He dropped his hand. “That is not what this is about, Alex. I just don’t want to see you getting wrapped up in something… so serious for the wrong reasons.”
My gaze flicked up, meeting his. His eyes burned so brightly, taking up his whole face. “You’ve told me we can’t be together and—and I know. I know we can’t, but—”
Aiden bent quickly, leaning down so our faces were only inches from one another. “But that doesn’t mean you should settle for Seth, Alex.”
I crushed the blanket in my hands. “I’m not settling for Seth!”
He quirked an eyebrow and held my glare with his own.
Then it hit me and my heart sped up. “This isn’t even about Seth. This is about you! You don’t want to see me with him or anyone else! Because you still care about me!”
Aiden jerked back, shaking his head. “Of course I care for you.”
I drew in a deep breath, trying to quell my racing heart. “Tell me… tell me that you feel the same way I do about you, because if you do…” I couldn’t bring myself to actually say it. If he told me that he felt the same way—that he loved me—then to hell with everything else. To hell with it all, because I would not—could not walk away from that. No matter how wrong it was, how I’d resolved to let him go, and no matter how dangerous it would be for the both of us. I simply couldn’t.
Aiden inhaled sharply. “I won’t.”
“Or you can’t?”
He shook his head again, eyes flickering shut. A quick grimace pulled at his lips, and then he looked me dead on. “I don’t.”
I exhaled harshly, suddenly wanting to curl up in a ball and cry. But I didn’t. I’d brought this on myself. “Okay.”
“Alex, I want—”
“No. I don’t want to hear anything else.” I pushed off the bed. “What I have with Seth is none of your—” A rush of dizziness made me stumble. I bent, grabbing the edge of the bed for support.
“Alex?” Aiden moved around the bed, reaching for me.
“Don’t!” I threw up my hand. “Don’t pretend you care. That takes douchebaggery to a whole new level.”
Aiden stopped, opening and closing his hands. “Good point.”
The room righted itself and it felt safe to move again. Ignoring Aiden and the need to wail like a baby, I started the mortifying search for my clothes. I gathered up my jeans and hoodie, tucking them under my arm. One very important, very embarrassing item hadn’t been located. I scanned the floors rather desperately.
“I think this belongs to you.”
Cursing under my breath, I turned around. Aiden dangled something black, small and flimsy from his fingertips.
Color burst across my face. I snatched it out of his hand. “Thanks.”
Aiden didn’t smile. “It’s my pleasure.”
CHAPTER 25
I WENT THROUGH MY MORNING ROUTINE SLOWLY,
still feeling a bit whacked. Part of me wanted to dive under the covers, another part wanted to strangle Aiden, and I still needed to find Seth.
I also needed to deal with the fact that someone seriously didn’t want me to turn eighteen. I pushed down the ball of conflicting emotions to dwell on some other day—which I felt sure would be a day very soon—and opened the door. Aiden stood there, waiting. He was there because I obviously couldn’t be allowed to be anywhere by myself, but I still wanted to punch him in the face.
Our walk downstairs was awkward.
A few Guards who had been present during the Council session nodded respectfully as I passed them. That was an improvement from being ignored. Aiden left me when I stopped at the linen-covered tables. I guess he figured I was safe within eyesight.
I stared at the plate of fresh croissants and bagels, swallowing thickly. I didn’t think I could ever eat again. I grabbed a bottle of water and shuffled to where Aiden sat beside Marcus. Marcus didn’t look up from his newspaper when I dropped into the seat beside him.
I could feel Aiden’s eyes on me and I wanted to bang my head on the table. Instead of doing that, I twisted around and stared across the cafeteria. I pretended to be engrossed in the wall until I noticed the two servants standing by it.
It was him—the clear-eyed one I’d seen the first day here and tried to talk to in the stairwell. He leaned toward the other half-blood, a boy. I couldn’t help but wonder how the pures—the Masters—couldn’t see how alert this Brown Eyes was.
Brown Eyes must have sensed me watching, because he turned and looked me straight in the eye. Not quite a hostile look, maybe a little curious. He quickly turned back to the other servant. I don’t know why I watched them for so long. It may’ve been how tense their conversation seemed. Half-blood servants rarely argued, even among themselves. They were usually too medicated to even hold a decent conversation, but these two were different.
“Where were you last night, Alexandria? This morning, you were not in your bed.”
Marcus’s question jerked me around. I said the one thing that I knew Marcus wouldn’t question and was sort of true. “I was with Seth. We were talking and I fell asleep.”
“Really?” He nodded at the double doors leading to the patio. Seth stood there, his back to us. “So are you the one who gave him that black eye?”
“Uh…” I was already standing. “I’ll see you guys in a little bit.”
Marcus made a noise that sounded a lot like a chuckle and went back to his paper. I found it disturbing that he’d find the idea of domestic violence so humorous.
Taking a deep breath, I cut between the empty tables and followed Seth outside, not daring a look back to see Aiden’s expression. Seth didn’t turn around, but I knew he felt me. His shoulders tensed as he leaned against the one of thick marble columns.
I shivered in the chilly air, wondering why I hadn’t brought a jacket. I stopped next to him and stared across the grounds. The top of the mammoth wall surrounding the place peeked over the tree line. I hoped he’d say something first, but the minutes passed and Seth remained silent. He wasn’t going to make any of this easy.
“Hey,” I said, immediately feeling stupid.
“Hey.”
I rolled my eyes and stepped in front of him. Seth stared down at me coolly. Up close, the purple and blue ring around his left eye looked brutal. “Does that hurt?”
“Don’t you think that’s a stupid question?”
“Do you want another black eye?” I snapped.
He arched an eyebrow. “I think I prefer the drunken version of you. She’s much nicer.”
I stepped back. “You know what? Forget it.”
Seth reached out and caught my arm. “What do you want to talk about? How disgusted you are with me?”
“No,” I stared at him in surprise. “That’s not what I was going to say at all.”
Some of the coolness slipped from his expression, but he still regarded me warily. “Then why did you want to talk to me?”
“I want to talk about… last night.” I felt my cheeks burn. “It wasn’t your fault.”
His brows flew up. “Not my fault?”
“No.” I glanced over his shoulder, spotting the pure-blood Council Guard who had taken out Hector. He stood by the glass door leading out to the patio, trying to appear as if he wasn’t watching us. “Can we go somewhere private?”
Seth looked over his shoulder. “Let’s go.”
We ended up a few rows into the labyrinth. Being in here left a bad taste in my mouth, but there was really no other place that was private. Seth leaned against the stone wall and folded his arms. “So talk.”
I swallowed uncomfortably. This would be so awkward. “I wanted to apologize for… well, for everything that happened last night.”
“You’re apologizing to me?” He sounded stunned.
Shifting to my other foot, I nodded. “I know you tried to get me to sit down and not do what I was doing. You tried to—”
“I didn’t tryhard enough, Alex.” He pushed off the wall. “Aiden’s right—gods, I can’t even believe I’m saying that, but he is. I knew you weren’t yourself. So I should’ve stopped it.”