The duo did their best not to look down at the floor far below them. Every one of Jackson’s nerves was tense by the time they reached the ladder and climbed down to the platform where the team was held.
“What are you doing here, Jackson?” Ruby asked.
“I’ve come to save your life and the world, if we get lucky,” Jackson replied.
“And you brought one of Jigsaw’s goons to help you?” Matilda asked.
“I’m not a goon!” the Hyena cried.
“She’s very sensitive about the goon thing. Any idea how to get you out of these shackles?” Jackson asked, steering the conversation back toward the dilemma at hand.
“I’ve tried to break free but they’re too strong,” the lunch lady said.
“It doesn’t matter,” Agent Brand said. “If you free us, the team is helpless with those EMPs jamming their upgrades.”
“How do we turn them off?” the Hyena asked.
“There’s a control panel over there,” Duncan said, turning his head toward the group of goons with the microwave blasters.
“You mean that tiny panel on the wall where the murderers with superweapons are?” Jackson complained, then turned to the Hyena. “Any suggestions?”
“Hey, I can’t come up with all the plans,” she said.
“The two of you should just go,” Heathcliff said. “We’re already in hot water. You’re just going to make it worse.”
“Heathcliff, I was a jerk to you and you’re probably going to hate me forever, but right now I’m here to save your life.”
“I’d be happy if you saved my life,” Flinch said.
“I’ll do my best.” Jackson scanned the room and noticed two guards standing at the front of the platform. They had their backs turned to the hostages and hadn’t heard a word of the conversation over the sounds from Jigsaw’s noisy machine. “I’ve got an idea. Give me that boot of yours.”
The Hyena understood what he had in mind. They tiptoed to the front of the platform, and Jackson brought the boot down hard on one guard’s head. He toppled over unconscious, and the duo went to work on his companion. Then they dragged the henchmen back behind the platform.
In a flash they were dressed in the guards’ clothing. The outfits were both way too big, but they rolled up the sleeves and legs and tucked in the pants. As they strolled across the floor, no one gave them a second look. They stepped right into the crowd of goons and stopped at the control panel.
“Hey, anyone know which button turns off the EMP machines?” Jackson asked.
“Yeah, it’s the green button,” one of the goons said without a second look.
“Thanks,” Jackson replied as he slammed his hand down on the button. There was a loud siren and several flashing lights, and all the goons turned toward them.
“Hey! Who are you?” one shouted at Jackson.
“We’re the people they sent to kick your butts,” the Hyena said as she spun a roundhouse kick and caught one of the giant goons in the stomach. He hunched over and she brought his head down on her knee. Seconds later he was drifting into dreamland.
Jackson could feel his braces coming to life. They shot out of his mouth and slammed into the guards’ jaws, one after another. The two of them made quick work of the thugs. Jackson looked back at his team. He guessed the person to watch would be Flinch, and he was right. The silver balls that locked Flinch’s hands cracked open. A second later he was pulling his feet out as well.
“Let’s knock some heads!” Flinch shouted, then banged on his chest like a gorilla.
“What’s his story?” the Hyena asked.
“He eats a little too much sugar,” Jackson explained as they ran over to his team.
“Flinch, free Choppers first!” Agent Brand shouted, and the littlest of the team did just that. Then he smashed the bindings holding Wheezer, then Gluestick, then Pufferfish. Lastly, he freed Agent Brand and the lunch lady. In the meantime, a group of angry henchmen with microwave blasters were heading their way.
Matilda’s inhalers shot her into the sky, and she buzzed over the villains. They lifted their weapons to fire on her, but she circled them so quickly that in an instant they were blasting one another with microwave radiation. Their numbers went from twenty to five. Duncan stepped forward and grabbed the remaining henchmen’s hands. A thick river of adhesive sprayed from his fingertips. They cried out in frustration when they aimed their blasters; their fingers were glued in place and they could not pull the triggers.
As Ruby looked on, her entire body began to swell and her skin turned blotchy and red. “There’s more on the way!” she cried. “My allergies tell me there’s at least a hundred.”
No sooner had she spoken than doors at both ends of the lab flew open. Dozens of armed henchmen and goons raced in, firing into the air and barking threats. The lunch lady leaped off the platform into the fray, and with fists flying he pounded the men off their feet. Agent Brand wielded his white cane. He flipped it around, cracking the goons on their noses and slamming it into their Adam’s apples. Despite Brand’s wounded leg, Jackson could see what Ms. Holiday had said about him was right. He was the best secret agent the world had ever seen.
The Hyena and Ruby leaped into the fight as well. The Hyena’s fighting style was elegant, almost like a dance. She kicked and punched with confidence and her opponents collapsed around her. Ruby, on the other hand, had an incredibly uncanny ability to avoid being injured. She seemed able to leap or duck out of the way of every attack. Jackson suspected she was allergic to physical violence. Many of the henchmen collapsed in exhaustion from trying and failing to beat her to a pulp. Others exposed themselves at the wrong time, and Ruby took advantage of the opening with a well-timed kick or karate chop.
“They’re amazing,” Jackson said as he looked out on the team.
“You took the words right out of my mouth,” said Agent Brand, who was catching his breath nearby. “I … I couldn’t get past their ages, Jackson. I felt like I was baby-sitting a bunch of high-tech crybabies but … they’re as good as I ever was.”
Jackson nodded. “Don’t feel bad. I thought they were a bunch of misfits and losers. I guess we were both wrong.”
The doors flew open once more, and a hundred more goons raced in with microwave blasters. There seemed to be an endless supply.
“Choppers, this would be a good time to use your upgrades,” Agent Brand called to the bucktoothed boy.
“Yes, I agree,” Heathcliff replied. He stepped toward the thugs, paused, and then turned back toward his team.
“What are you doing, Choppers?” Ruby asked.
“That’s not my name,” the boy said as he reached into his pocket. He took out a black mask and slipped it over his head. It had a white skull painted on the front and exposed his bright, ivory teeth. “My name is Simon, and what Simon says … goes.”
“You’re Simon?” the Hyena cried. “But that means you’re behind all this!”
Duncan looked faint. “No!” he cried.
“Yes,” Simon replied. “Well, of course I had help from Dr. Jigsaw.”
Dr. Jigsaw and Dumb Vinci stepped through the crowd of henchmen, all of whom had their blasters aimed at the team.
“Heathcliffi Why?” Matilda said.
“Because I am sick and tired of this world, Matilda. It’s upside down and inside out. Nothing makes sense. How else can you explain a world that cherishes charm and good looks over intelligence? How else can you explain a place where people are tormented because they are smart? Or because they don’t wear the right clothes? Or because they can’t fit their round bodies into the square holes? The planet is terrible, Wheezer. Especially to people like us. We’re brilliant, creative people but we’re treated like fools—shoved in lockers. Given wedgies. Laughed at. Things have to change. Luckily, my good friend Dr. Jigsaw thinks so too. Admittedly, we have different agendas. He wants to re-create a world that’s long gone. I just want to smash it to pieces.”