The healer eyed me with some consternation, for this smacked of criticism of the Lord Holder.
I could not in conscience show any trace of my growing disgust, disillusionment, and distrust of my sire. And obviously I should not have over- heard such sentiment.
Then Desdra herself appeared from the far side of the Hall court, her face lighting with relief as she saw how burdened we were. "Lady Nerilka, I only asked for interim supplies."
"I recommend that you take as much as you can get before I am no longer in a position to help."
She did not question me, but I saw her eyes accept my words and the implications of my tone.
"I renew my offer to nurse the sick, wherever and whoever they might be," I said as firmly as
I could as she took the sacks from my arms.
"You must take your mother's place here during this emergency, Lady Nerilka," she said, her voice low and kind, her deep-set and expressive eyes conveying her sympathy and condolences. I had once thought the joumeywoman too passive a practitioner, her manner too detached, but I had misjudged her. How could I tell her, now, that she mistook my measure and circumstances? Or had such a trivial matter as Anella's arrival not percolated through to the two Halls?
"How Is Master Capiam?" I asked, before she could turn away.
"He has nearly completed the course of the disease." Desdra's voice rippled with wry humor, and I detected a twinkle in her eyes. "He's too ornery to die, and determined to find a cure for this plague. Thank you. Lady Nerilka."
Our brief exchange had outlasted die audible conversations from the Harper Hall, so there was nothing for me to do but retrace my steps out of the court, with Sim trotting behind me. Poor Sim.
I forget he has short legs and cannot match my long stride.
"Sim, where is this internment camp of Lord Tolocamp's?" I sought any excuse to avoid returning to the Hold for a little while. My anger was too sharp, my grief too fresh, my self-discipline nonexistent.
Sim pointed to his right, where the great road south dips down into a small valley through a copse of trees. I walked far enough down the broad roadway to have an uninterrupted view, and saw guards pacing the arbitrary boundaries.
"Are there many wayfarers halted there?"
Sim nodded, his eyes frightened. "Harper and healer, all only trying to get back to their Halls. And a few of the holdless. We always have them coming along. But there'll be sick ones, soon.
Wanting help from the Healer Hall. What did they do? They got a right to healing."
So they did. Even my mother was-had been-generous to the holdless.
"Do the guards allow anyone into the valley?"
Sim nodded. "But not back out again."
"Who's the guard leader?"
"Theng, far as I know."
Even Theng could be got round if it was done the right way. He enjoyed a bottle of wine, and while he was drinking he could pretend not to see past the end of the flask. Harper and healer refused access to their Halls? My father was foolish as well as frightened. And hypocritical when he, himself, returning from a disease-ridden Hold, placed his own people at jeopardy by his very presence. Well, that didn't mean that I had to be foolish, too. I knew my duty to the Halls - hadn't my father drilled it into me? And I might need their charity before the end of these terrible days. I would speak to Felim, and to Theng.
As I walked back up to the Hold, I saw a figure in a first story window. My father? Yes, that was his window, and he was watching Sim and me.Sim he wouldn't distinguish from any other drudge wearing Hold livery, but just how keen was his long sight? And what would it matter if he identified me? It would probably be the first time he had. I strode on, proud and careless. But I did take the side entrance into the kitchens. I had to speak to Felim, didn't I?
"What am I to do now? Lady Nerilka?" the cook began before I could ask him to save the broken meats for the interned men. "She came down with orders for all kinds of foods that I know Lady
Pendra would not condone-" And then he burst into tears again, blotting his eyes and face with the rag he always had hanging out of his apron waist. "She was stem. Lady Pendra, but she was fair. A man knew he had only to keep to her standards and there'd be no complaint"
"What did Anella want?"
"She said she was to order Hold matters now. And I was to prepare broth for her children, whose stomachs are delicate; and there are to be confections with every meal, for her parents desire sweets; and roasts midday and evening. Lady Nerilka, you know that isn't possible." Tears streamed down his cheeks again as he shrugged, "Must I take orders from her now?"
"I’ll find out, Felim. Proceed with the plans we made this morning. Not even for Anella can we alter an established routine in one day."
Then I asked him to save what he could from the evening meal, for delivery to Theng.
"I took the liberty of sending the broken meats last night. Lady Nerilka. As your lady mother would have done. Oh, oh, she was fair, she was fair…" He buried his face once more in his napkin.
Felim was fair, too, I thought, trying to keep my mind off my mother. Thinking of Anella helped. That little lay-aback, coming in here and thinking she could just take over a Hold the size of Fort and run it as if it were exactly like the back hills midden from which she'd come! The thought of the chaos that would shortly result at such inexpert hands gave me a perverse delight. Little did Anella know of real management, and if she wished to keep my father content, she'd better learn. Whatever had made her think that just because Lady Pendra was dead, she was to step into her shoes, just as she had taken her bed partner? Unless…
Once again I encountered a distressed Campen in the front hall. My brother's face was suffused with blood and his features contorted with dismay. Doral, Mostar, and Theskin, who were deep in low conversation with him, wore the same expression.
"Isn't there anything we can do?" Theskin was demanding, his fingers clenching and unclenching on the hilt of his belt knife.
Doral was slamming one fist into the other palm. "Nerilka, where have you been? Do you know what has happened?"
"Anella's moving in."
"Father has had her transferred into Mother's rooms. Already!" There was no doubt of the outrage that Campen and the others felt. "He's looking for you. Rill, demanding to know where you've been all day, what you were doing at the internment camp-and whatever possessed you to go there?"
"To find out if it existed at all," I replied, bitterly ignoring the other questions. "When?"
"That was our early morning task," Theskin replied, indicating that Doral had assisted. "Setting the guard and drawing up the watch rosters. Now this! Could he not wait a decent interval?"
"He may come down with the illness and have lost a last chance to enjoy his few remaining hours!"
"Nerilka!" Campen was appalled at my irreverence, but Theskin and Doral guffawed.
"She may have the answer, you know, Campie lad," Theskin said. "Our sire has ever liked his little pleasures."
"Theskin, that is enough!" Campen remembered to lower his voice, but the intensity of his reprimand made up for the lack of volume.
Theskin shrugged. "I'm off. Checking the guard! I'll be back for my dinner. Wouldn't miss that for the world!" He winked at me, tugged Doral by the arm, and they went off, leaving me with Campen.