Hot CUMmodity: I deep throat you and I feel you cumming in my mouth.
Slanging Dick: Is it good to you, baby?
Hot CUMmodity: The best! I cum in your mouth and then climb off your face.
Slanging Dick: Oh, shit! @@@@ That was some bomb pussy.
Hot CUMmodity: I have to go now. Thanks for the dick, Boo. Kisses all over your body.
Four P.M.
The house was packed with relatives, all of whom Jude hated. She’d put on a plaid wool skirt and long-sleeved sweater; just the variety of boring outfit Jonquinette would’ve selected.
Meredith was in her element, showing off for her family and pretending like she was the shit. When she asked Jonquinette to help her set the table, Jude plastered on a bogus smile and complied. She wanted to stay downstairs because she didn’t want to jeopardize missing the action once the doorbell rang.
By four-thirty, when they all actually sat down to eat, Jude was getting edgy. “The bitch” was late.
Benjamin, Jonquinette’s twelve-year-old cousin, was making Jude queasy by chewing with his mouth open. Jude wanted to reach across the table and slap him. Instead, she just grinned at him and redirected her eyes elsewhere. When he let out a loud belch, Jude cleared her throat. That sorry motherfucker has no home training whatsoever, she thought. Then again, she shouldn’t have been surprised considering his mother, Meredith’s sister Elaine, had no home training her damn self.
By five, Jude was absolutely enraged. She was ready to go scour the streets for “the bitch” and strangle her with her bare hands.
At five-fifteen, the doorbell finally rang. Jude jumped up and said, “I’ll get it. You all finish your dessert.”
Meredith called after her as she headed out into the foyer. “I wonder who it could be. Everyone’s already here.”
Jude yanked the front door open and glared angrily at “the bitch.” She whispered, “Don’t you own a watch?”
“The bitch” came back at her. “Yeah, but I had three dudes come by in a van and they were loaded with cash. Shit, you only gave me two hundred. Don’t get to tripping on me or I’ll turn right back around.”
Jude decided to swallow the words in her throat. At the moment, other things were more important.
Meredith decided to come out of the dining room to investigate. She was shocked when she saw the slut standing in her doorway. The woman gave the impression of being a streetwalker. She had on a taut spandex skirt that was so undersized you could see the crotch of her red lace underwear, a pair of stilettos and a halter top in the middle of November.
“Who the hell are you?” Meredith demanded to know.
Jude winked at “the bitch,” letting her know it was time to get the show on the road.
“Um, I’m looking for Henry,” she said. “Henry Pierce. Does he live here?”
Meredith came closer to the door. “Henry’s my husband. Who are you?”
“The bitch” grimaced and then laughed in Meredith’s face. “I’m Henry’s mistress.”
“Momma…” Jude cried, starting the performance she’d planned all along. “Daddy has a mistress?”
Meredith coughed, trying to prevent herself from choking on her own saliva. “Of course, he doesn’t. This woman is obviously mistaken.” She eyed the hooker and said, “You’ve apparently got the wrong house.”
“The bitch” asked, “Is this 12709 Spring Valley Lane?”
“Yes, it is,” Jude quickly responded. When she noticed no one else was coming out of the dining room, she got louder so they could hear the commotion. “You did say you were looking for Henry Pierce, didn’t you?” she yelled.
Henry obviously heard that because he appeared around the corner less than ten seconds later asking, “Who’s at the door?”
“The bitch” eyed Jude, trying to make sure he was the right person because she’d never seen him.
Jude decided to confirm it by running up to Henry and throwing her arms around his neck. “Daddy, say it isn’t so! Say she’s lying!”
“Who’s lying?” Henry asked.
Meredith glowered at Henry and said, “Your mistress is at the door.”
“My what?” Henry bellowed.
It gradually became Noah’s Ark up in the Pierce household as their guests came into the living room in pairs. No one wanted to be considered nosy but, at the same time, no one wanted to miss a single word of what was about to go down.
“The bitch” came farther into the house uninvited and threw herself down at Henry’s feet, grabbing onto one of his calves. “Henry, please come be with me.”
“What? What the fuck are you talking about?” Henry was panic-stricken. “I don’t know you.”
“The bitch” got up and placed her hands on her hips in anger. “Oh, so you’re just going to play me like that, huh?” She turned to Meredith. “My name’s Mahagony and I’m carrying your husband’s child.”
Meredith threw her hands up in the air in alarm and looked at Henry. “Damn, Henry, she’s pregnant too?” Meredith was totally embarrassed. She couldn’t believe all of this was happening in front of her family members. She switched her attention to Mahagony. “It’s Thanksgiving. Couldn’t you have had the decency to at least wait until tomorrow? We have guests.”
Mahagony said, “I don’t give a damn about your guests. Your husband paid me for sex, at first. Then it became more than that. I started being with him for free and we fell in love. Why should I have to spend my holidays alone? I belong here just as much as you do. Even more, probably, because I’m the one satisfying his needs.”
Henry seized Mahagony and started pushing her toward the door. “I don’t know what kind of game you’re running but you need to get the hell out of this house right now.”
Meredith’s sister, Elaine, Miss Know-It-All, was the first family member to jump into the mix. “Henry, how could you do this to Meredith? She’s been faithful to you all these years and treated you like gold. You filthy bastard!”
Mahagony pulled away from Henry and spit in his face. “That’s right! You are a filthy bastard!”
Meredith couldn’t take it anymore. She broke out in tears and ran upstairs. Both of her sisters followed her.
The rest of the family stood around in silence, regarding Henry with expressions that ran the breadth from anger to pure repugnance.
Jude really laid it on thick by burying her head in a pillow from the sofa and sobbing. She was in actuality laughing and grinning from ear to ear but they all thought she was overcome with emotion. One of her uncles came over and started patting her on the back. “It’s going to be okay, Jonquinette.”
Henry finally broke out of the state of shock he’d gone into when Meredith took off up the stairs. He became physical and dragged Mahagony out the door onto the porch. He told her, “Don’t ever come around here again or I’m calling the police. You’re obviously some hopeless whore who thinks she can achieve something from doing this. Well, you’re not getting a damn thing except locked up if you don’t leave.”
Henry came back in and slammed the door in her face.
Everyone could hear her outside screaming, “You bastard! I should call the police on you! You’re gonna take care of me and this baby! I’m taking you to court! You hear me, Henry! Do you hear me, you bastard!”
Jude got up from the couch, wiping fake tears and announced, “I’m going to lie down!”
No one paid much attention to her as she eased upstairs. They were all too busy preparing to rip Henry a new asshole for mistreating the precious Meredith.
Ten P.M.
Jonquinette woke up and wondered why it was so quiet in the house. She noticed that it was dark outside and couldn’t believe it when she saw that it was ten o’clock on her digital alarm clock. She couldn’t have possibly slept through the entire Thanksgiving.