Daddy and I spent the remainder of the day discussing the past: the good, the bad, and the ugly. When Flower came home close to dusk, we lightened up and headed for the front porch for a night of joking around on the swing.
The next day I went to church with them and cried like a baby the entire time. I hoped that I didn’t scare Flower but she seemed to understand that I was cleansing my soul. Oftentimes, children identify with things better than adults.
After joining the parishioners in the church hall for their routine Sunday potluck dinner that started directly after church, I said my good-byes, told Daddy I would be in touch shortly, hugged Flower and wished I could take her with me, and headed out of town.
When I arrived back in Atlanta, hunger had reared its ugly head, so I stopped by a deli to get a chicken Caesar salad. I checked my messages and there were several from Momma, three from Mason, and one frantic one from Marcella stating that she needed to talk to me right away and that I could call her at home if it was after hours. She left her home number but it was late and I was drained. I had an appointment with her the following afternoon so I decided to wait, get some rest, and get ready to deal with Mr. Wilson and his demands the next morning.
26
jonquinette
All the next day, I was anxious to get through my workload so I could make a beeline for Marcella’s office. I even called to see if I could come in an hour earlier than normal and her secretary said it would be fine.
When I got there, I couldn’t stop talking about how wonderful it was to see my father. She sat there and studied me hard and I was confused that she wasn’t saying anything in response.
After I had filled her in, including telling her all about Flower, my wonderful little sister, she finally cleared her throat and said, “That’s extraordinary news. I’m glad you and your father have reconciled because you’re really going to need him in the months ahead.”
I didn’t like the way she phrased it. “What do you mean?”
“Did you get my phone message?” she asked.
“Yes, I got it last night but I didn’t want to bother you at home so late on a Sunday evening.”
“You can call me anytime, Jonquinette. As a therapist, I recognize that my patients often need me outside of standard office hours. There are some doctors that refuse to deal with patients during late evenings or the weekends. I’m not one of them. To me, that shows a lack of true dedication on their part.”
“Thanks for saying that. I appreciate it.”
“No need for thanks. Like I said, it’s all a part of my profession.” She got up from her desk. “Jonquinette, it’s such a pretty day for late September. Why don’t we take a walk?”
“You mean, leave the office,” I said uneasily.
She giggled. “Yes, I think the fresh air might help.”
Her remark about “fresh air” tickled me. After just returning from the pure country air of Trinity, the smog, fumes, and litter of downtown Atlanta didn’t seem too alluring to me.
I got up anyway. “Sure, that would be nice.” I glimpsed at the wall clock. “But my hour is almost up.”
“That’s not a problem and don’t worry about paying for extra time. I wouldn’t even consider accepting it.”
“Don’t you have another patient?”
“No, I don’t. My boyfriend wanted to do dinner tonight but we can make it a late one.”
That was the first time I had heard Marcella refer to her personal life. I was always curious about what made her tick. I knew she didn’t wear a wedding ring but that didn’t mean she wasn’t married. Numerous people don’t wear their rings. Some misplace them accidentally and some misplace them on purpose. Since she said she had a boyfriend, that answered that question.
We ended up walking around the block several times. I was concerned that someone might eavesdrop on our discussion, not that they knew who we were. There was a statue in a community park and I asked if we could sit on a secluded bench nearby. She graciously agreed. There were some older gentlemen playing chess on the other side of the statue but they couldn’t possibly hear us so I felt secure.
No sooner had we sat down when she blurted it out. “Jonquinette, I met her.”
“Met who?”
“Jude?”
“Who’s Jude?”
“Jude is one of your other personalities. She’s the one that I suspect has been doing all those things. She admitted as much.”
I was clueless about what to say. I just sat there and attempted to let Marcella’s words sink in. Jude!
It felt so strange to ask the next question. “So what did she say to you, Marcella?”
“Basically, that she was your protector and that if not for her, you would’ve perished long ago.”
“She said that?”
“Yes, that and much more. She said that she controlled you and that if she wanted to, she could take over full-time and never let you return.” Marcella took my hand. “Don’t worry. I don’t believe she can actually do that for a second.”
“But what if she can?” I asked in alarm. “What if she can make me totally fade away?”
The thought of just falling asleep, or blacking out one day, and ceasing to exist was more frightening than death. I had always had this trepidation of becoming a vegetable due to an accident or sudden illness and that was more dreadful than anything I could envision.
“Jonquinette, if there was any doubt before, there is none now. You’re definitely suffering from MPD.”
“What does that stand for?”
“Multiple Personality Disorder.”
I jumped up from the bench and started pacing right along with the pigeons. “This can’t be happening. Not now. Not when I think that I’ve finally found someone. Someone I could actually open up to.”
“Are you referring to Mason?”
I blushed. “Yes, I mean Mason. He and I went out on a date.”
“Was that your first date?” Marcella asked. “With Mason, I mean.”
“That was my first date period,” I readily divulged.
“And how did it go?”
“He kissed me.”
“Did you kiss him back?”
“Yes, and that wasn’t the first time. He and I had kissed once before. He had invited me to a wedding, but I didn’t get the note he’d taped to my door. Darnetta, a friend from the office, had asked me to go to the same exact wedding with her. Crazy happenstance, huh?”
Marcella nodded. “Quite remarkable.”
“Anyway, we both ended up there. He was the best man. At the reception we danced and then the groom needed to talk to him. I sat back down at the table and then…”
“Then what?”
I sat back down beside her and groaned. “I don’t remember. This Jude person must have taken over somehow. The next thing I knew I was at home and Mason was banging at my door. He mentioned something about me becoming ill at the reception and leaving without telling him.”
“How did that make you feel? To have him standing there recounting things you couldn’t remember?”
“It scared the living daylights out of me,” I replied. “I really want things to work out with Mason, but how, in all fairness, can I even date him again?”
Marcella put her arm around my shoulder and embraced me. “We’re just going to have to take this one day at a time, just like everyone else. That’s the only way you can really face life; trying to deal with too many things at once makes you overwhelmed. We have to take care of the moment and then move on to the next. We can’t always worry about what is to come.”
I pulled away from her so I could gaze into her eyes. “That may be true in most cases and I understand perfectly what you’re trying to say. But I have to worry about what is to come. If this Jude is threatening to take over my entire life, how can we stop her?”