She frowned and replied, “No, I just want you to know that someone does care about you. I care about you, Jude. I care about both you and Jonquinette. You’re not alone and I don’t want you to ever feel like you don’t have someone to talk to. I understand, clearly, that there are two of you and both of you need love.”
I shook my head and snickered. “Whatever, bitch!”
“See, that’s what I mean. Your hostility toward me is just a front. You really crave to be loved. Isn’t that why you have sex with so many men?”
“Oh, so you want to go there, huh?” I asked. “I guess it’s time for the motherfucking gloves to come off.”
She stood there and took a challenging stance. “Fine by me. If I can’t get through to you by talking calmly, then we can get loud. However, that’s not going to solve anything.”
“And me coming into your office, lying on your chair like I’m some sort of fucking diva, and spilling my guts will solve something?” I asked sarcastically.
“It’s a start. Tell me, Jude. Why do you really have sex with so many people? Why do you consider that important?”
“You tell me. You’re the doctor.” I ripped open a bag of chips that was sitting on the counter. I was craving something salty. “Oh, what was it you told Jon? That I use it as a power play?” I laughed.
“You’re too funny. You do realize that everything you say to her, I hear.”
“Yes, I know that you’re always around,” she admitted. “So you know how much your adventures are hurting Jon. She came to me because she thought she was insane. You regard that as protecting her?”
I didn’t like the direction the conversation was going. It was time to end it. “It’s time for you to leave,” I informed her.
“Jude, aren’t you going to answer my question?”
“No, I’m not going to answer your stupid-ass question.” I went out of the kitchen and opened the front door. “Get out!”
“Jude, this isn’t going to improve anything. You’re always ending our chats abruptly.”
“Chats? This isn’t a fucking chat. We’re not two girlfriends catching up on things or lollygagging around. This is a fucking argument and I won’t engage in it any longer. It’s useless. You think that you can convince me to go away? Well, like I said before, that shit is not happening!” I opened the door wider. “Now get the hell out!”
“Would you allow me to talk to Jon again?”
I laughed. “Jon’s not here right now.”
“Can you allow her to come back out?” she asked.
“You are one sick cookie. If you think I’m going let you sit here and fill Jon’s head with more of your bullshit tonight, you are sadly mistaken.” I went down the hallway toward the bedroom. “If you’re not going to leave, then I am. I’m getting dressed.”
“No, don’t do that,” Marcella stated in a panic. “It’s late and you need to stay here. I’ll leave, if you really want me to.”
I couldn’t help but be amused. I glimpsed at her and she was standing in the doorway looking pathetic. “Aw, I get it. You know that if I go out, I’m going to fuck someone and you’re trying to spare Jon that embarrassment.”
She lowered her eyes to the floor but refused to respond.
“Well, you’re right,” I continued. “If I leave here, especially at this time of morning, I’m going to go out and fuck the first thing moving.” I decided to rub it in. “In fact, I might do it anyway, even if you do get the hell out right now. That trips you out, right? Knowing or rather not knowing what I might do next?”
“You’re truly enjoying this, aren’t you? Destroying this young woman’s life.”
“I’m not destroying shit. I’m simply living mine.”
Marcella left without saying another word, thank goodness! I went out on the balcony and watched her pull away slowly. I retrieved my bag of chips from the kitchen, came back out and sat on one of the two lounge chairs Jon had out there. About fifteen minutes later, I saw a brother that I had seen many times before leaving the building. It was way over in the morning and he had obviously just finished making a booty call to the sister in Apartment 1-C. She was the uppity bitch with a weave who always thought she was too special to even speak to Jon. One of those women who thought her shit didn’t stink and that her pussy was worth millions.
I decided to kill two birds with one stone because I had never liked that bitch in 1-C.
“Hey, you!” I called out to him as I stood up on the balcony so he could see me.
He looked up just as he was hitting the keyless entry button on his key chain to unlock a black Mercedes SLK 320. “Yes?” he asked.
I didn’t say anything. I just ripped off Jon’s pajama top, followed by her bra. Then I stepped out of the pants and underwear. I stood there naked, just staring at him seductively. Then I closed my eyes and started swaying my hips to imaginary music and palming my breasts. I heard the beep again as he locked the car, followed by his footsteps coming back up the walkway toward the building. The shit was just that easy.
31
jonquinette
I hesitated before I knocked on Momma’s door. I had no idea how I would break the news but it had to come out. I needed her, more than ever.
She saved me the trouble of knocking when she suddenly swung the door of her condo open. She was startled and slapped her right hand across her chest.
“Hello, Momma,” I said, faking a smile.
She took a deep breath and sighed. “Jonquinette. What a pleasant surprise.”
“You really mean that?”
“Yes, of course I mean it. I was on my way out to the store but come on in.” She turned and walked back into her place, leaving the door ajar for me to follow her. “In fact, I’ve been getting frustrated because you haven’t returned any of my calls.”
It was true that she had left several phone messages, both at home and at work, but I just couldn’t bring myself to call her. Dealing with the drama from Darnetta and Mason had been bad enough and I didn’t think I could deal with a lot of drama from Momma.
“I’m sorry,” I told her. “I was out of town for a while and then when I got back, some things happened.”
Momma eyed me suspiciously. “What sort of things?”
“Can I sit down?” I asked as I walked into the living room. Her place was immaculate as always. I was hoping I wouldn’t catch her at a bad time, with a man in the house, and it appeared that I had lucked out.
“Jonquinette, stop acting like you’re some sort of stranger.” Momma laughed. “Of course you can sit down. My home is your home.”
I plopped down on the sofa and she took a seat in the armchair directly across from it. “What if I am a stranger?” I asked her.
She leaned her head to the side in confusion. “Excuse me?”
“I said, what if I am a stranger?”
Momma seemed irritated. “You’re not making any sense. You’re my daughter. I gave birth to you, so how could you possibly be a stranger?”
I picked up a photo frame off her end table. It was a picture of the two of us at my college graduation. In retrospect, I guess it was a picture of the three of us. Momma didn’t say another word to me. A heavy silence just hung in the air like thick smoke.
“I live inside this body and I feel like I’m a stranger,” I finally said.
She laughed again, this time uneasily. “You must be over-heated. You’re acting delirious.” She got up from her seat and started walking away. “Let me go into the kitchen and get you something cold to drink. I made some freshly squeezed lemonade, your favorite.”
I tossed the picture onto the sofa cushion, jumped up, and grabbed her by the elbow. “Momma, lemonade isn’t going to cure this.”