Bethy shifted her gaze to the grave behind me. Both of them. I could see the sadness in her eyes as she read both the headstones. “No one can take away your memories. You have those,” she said squeezing my hand in hers.
“I know. I don’t believe them. My father is a liar. I don’t believe any of them. She, my mother, she wouldn’t have done what they claim. If anyone is to blame it is my father. He caused this pain. Not my momma. Never my momma.”
Bethy nodded and held my hand firmly in hers. Just having someone listen to me and know they believed me, that they believed my mother’s innocence helped.
“Did your sister look a lot like you?”
The last memory I had of Valerie was of her smiling. That bright smile that was so much prettier than mine. Her teeth were perfect without the help of braces. Her eyes were brighter than mine. But everyone said we were identical. They didn’t see the difference. I always wondered why. I could see it so clearly.
“We were identical,” I replied. Bethy wouldn’t understand the truth.
“I can’t imagine two Blaire Wynns. Y’all must have broken hearts all over this little town.” She was trying to lighten the mood after asking about my deceased sister. I appreciated it.
“Just Valerie. I was with Cain from the time I was young. I didn’t break any hearts.”
Bethy’s eyes went a little wide then she glanced away before clearing her throat. I waited until she turned back to me. “Although seeing you is awesome and we could totally rock this town, I’m actually here for a purpose.”
I assumed she was I just couldn’t figure out what that purpose was exactly.
“Okay,” I said waiting for more of an explanation.
“Can we talk about this over a coffee?” She frowned then glanced back at the street. “Or maybe the Dairy K since that’s like the only place I saw when I drove through town.”
She wasn’t comfortable hanging out amongst the graves like I was. That was normal. I was not. “Yeah, okay,” I said and walked over to pick up my purse.
“There’s your answer,” a soft voice whispered so quietly I almost thought I’d imagined it. Turning to look back at Bethy she was smiling with her hands tucked in her front pockets.
“Did you say something?” I asked confused.
“Uh, you mean after I suggested we go to the Dairy K?” she asked.
I nodded. “Yeah. Did you whisper something?”
She scrunched her nose and then glanced around nervously and shook her head. “Nope… um… why don’t we get out of here?” she said reaching for my arm and pulling me behind her back toward Jace’s car.
I looked back at my mom’s grave and a peace settled over me. Had that been…? No. Surely not. Shaking my head, I turned back around and went to get into the passenger side before Bethy threw me in.
Rush
It was my mother’s birthday. Nan had called me twice already asking me to call our mother. I couldn’t do it. She was on a beach in the Bahamas with him. This hadn’t affected her at all. Once again she’d run off to enjoy her life while leaving her kids behind to figure things out.
“Nan’s calling again. You want me to answer it and tell her to leave you the hell alone?” Grant walked into the living room holding up my cell phone in his hand while it rang.
Those two fought like actual siblings. “No, give it to me,” I replied as he tossed me the phone.
“Nan,” I said in greeting.
“Are you going to call Mother or not? She has called me twice now asking me if I talked to you and if you remembered it was her birthday. She does care about you. Stop letting that girl ruin everything, Rush. She pulled a gun on me for God’s sake. A gun, Rush. She is crazy. She—“
“Stop. Don’t say anything else. You don’t know her. You don’t want to know her. So just stop. I’m not calling Mom. The next time she calls tell her that. I don’t want to hear her voice. I don’t give a shit about her trip or what she got for her birthday.”
“Ouch,” Grant muttered as he sank down on the couch across from me and propped his legs up on the ottoman in front of him.
“I can’t believe you’d say that. I don’t understand you. She can’t be that good in—”
“Don’t Nannette. This conversation is over. Call me if you need me.”
I pressed end then slung my phone on the seat beside me and laid my head back on the cushion.
“Let’s go out. Drink a little. Dance with some girls. Forget this shit. All of it,” Grant said. He’d suggested this several times over the past three weeks. Or at least since I’d stopped breaking things and he felt it was safe enough to speak.
“No,” I replied without looking at him. There was no reason to act like I was okay. Until I knew Blaire was okay, I was never going to be okay. She may not forgive me. Hell she may never look at me again but I needed to know she was healing. I needed to know something. Anything.
“I’ve been real good about not prying. I’ve let you go crazy, roar at everything that moved and sulk. I think it’s time you told me something. What happened when you went to Alabama? Something had to have happened. You didn’t come back the same.”
I loved Grant like a brother but there was no way I was telling him about the night in the hotel room with Blaire. She’d been hurting and I’d been desperate. “I don’t want to talk about that. But I do need to get out. Stop staring at these walls and remembering her… yeah I need to get out.” I stood up and Grant jumped up from his spot on the couch. The relief in his eyes was obvious.
“What are you up for? Beer or girls or both?”
“Loud music,” I replied. I really didn’t need any beer and the girls… I just wasn’t ready for that.
“We’ll have to leave town. Maybe head to Destin?”
I threw my car keys at him. “Sure, lead the way.”
The doorbell rang stopping both of us. The last time I’d had an unexpected guest it hadn’t ended well. It very likely could be the cops coming to arrest me for bashing Cain’s face in. Oddly enough, I didn’t care. I was numb.
“I’ll get it,” Grant said, glancing at me with a concerned frown. He was thinking the same thing.
I sat back down on the sofa and propped my feet up on the coffee table in front of me. My mom hated it when I put my feet on this table. She’d bought it during one of her international shopping trips and had it shipped back here. I felt a sudden pang of guilt for not calling her but I pushed it away. My entire life I’d made that woman happy and taken care of Nan. I wasn’t doing that anymore. I was done. With all her shit.
“Jace, what’s up? We were just headed out. You want to come with?” Grant said stepping back and letting Jace walk into the house. I didn’t get up. I wanted him to leave. Seeing Jace reminded me of Bethy who then reminded me of Blaire. Jace needed to leave.
“Uh, no, I uh… I needed to talk to you about something,” Jace said, shuffling his feet and stuffing his hands in his pockets. He looked ready to bolt out the door.
“Okay,” I replied.
“Today might not be the best time to talk to him, man,” Grant said, stepping in front of Jace and focusing on me. “We were gonna head out. Let’s go. Jace can bare his soul later.”
Now I was curious. “I’m not a loose cannon, Grant. Sit down. Let him talk.”
Grant let out a sigh and shook his head. “Fine. You wanna tell him this shit now, then tell him.”
Jaceglanced over at Grant nervously then he looked back at me. He walked over and sat down on the chair furthest from me. I watched as he tucked his hair behind his ear and wondered what he had to say that was such a big deal.
“Bethy and I are getting kinda serious,” he started. I already knew this. I didn’t care. I felt the pain crack open my chest and I clenched my fists.I had to concentrate on forcing air into my lungs. Bethy had been Blaire’s friend. She’d know how Blaire was. “And uh… well Bethy’s rent went up and that place was shitty anyway. I didn’t feel safe with her staying there. So, I talked to Woods and he said that his dad had a two bedroom condo available if I wanted to rent that. I uh, got it for her and paid the deposit and everything. But when I took her to see it she got pissed. Big time pissed. She didn’t want me to pay her rent. She said it made her feel cheap.” He sighed and the apologetic look in his eyes still made no sense. I didn’t care about his fight with Bethy.