Never underestimate the importance of soundbites.LISSA WARREN, in The Savvy Author’s
Guide to Book Publicity (2003)
Warren added: “A soundbite is a turn of phrase, a quip, a clever statement said with authority. It’s controversial, or brilliant, or funny, or profound. You know you’re soundbiting well when what you say is called out in a ‘pull quote.’ ”
Never underestimate the other guy.JACK WELCH, in Jack: Straight from the Gut (2001)
About his experiences as CEO of General Electric, Welch wrote: “We tried like hell to look at every new product plan in the context of what the smartest competitor could do to trump us.”
Never underestimate the ability of a politician to(a) say something and not tell you very much,(b) do it with style, and (c) touch all the bases.ROBERT H. WILLIAMS
Paul Dickson called this “Williams’s Law of Political Rhetoric” in The Official Rules for Lawyers, Politicians . . . and Everyone They Torment (1996).
Never overestimate the number of people who buy and read books,
even when those books might solve pressing problems for them.THOMAS A. WILLIAMS, in Publish Your Own Magazine,
Guidebook, or Weekly Newspaper (2002)
Never underestimate a child’s ability to get into more trouble.STEVEN WRIGHT (also attributed to Martin Mull)
six
Never Trust a Computer You Can’t Lift
“Never Trust” Neverisms
On January 24, 1984, Apple Computer cofounder Steve Jobs unveiled the new Macintosh computer to an auditorium packed with Apple enthusiasts. In one of the most anticipated product launches in history, it would be the first time anyone outside the company had actually seen a “Mac,” as it was already being called. Expectations for the Macintosh were so high that some in the company feared they might never be met. Two days earlier, the new computer had been introduced in one of television history’s most dramatic commercials.
During the third quarter of Super Bowl XVIII between the Washington Redskins and Oakland Raiders, television viewers around the world were captivated by a slickly produced commercial that began with a dark and disturbing portrayal of a futuristic world where oppressed zombie-like subjects are forcibly marched into a large auditorium to be force-fed a pontificating lecture from a man whose face appears on a huge screen. It was a perfect portrayal of “Big Brother” from George Orwell’s classic novel 1984. As this depressing scene begins to unfold, a beautiful blond athlete in red shorts and white tank-top runs into the auditorium. Pursued by menacing storm troopers, the young woman is carrying a sledge hammer. As she nears the front of the auditorium, she hurls the hammer with a mighty heave, shattering the large screen. And then, as the dark auditorium is bathed in sunlight, a narrator says:
On January 24th, Apple Computer will introduce Macintosh.
And you’ll see why 1984 won’t be like “1984.”
Created by the New York advertising firm Chiat/Day, the commercial was directed by filmmaker Ridley Scott, who had recently achieved fame for Alien (1979) and Blade Runner (1982). Scott’s production team had been given a budget of $700,000 for the commercial, an astonishing amount at the time. The commercial, titled 1984, was telecast only this one single time, but it’s difficult to name a television advertisement that has had a bigger impact. That evening, as Super Bowl commercials received their traditional postgame scrutiny, it was the clear fan favorite. In the days following the Super Bowl, the powerful mini-movie garnered millions of dollars of free publicity for Apple as it was replayed again and again on television news and sports programs. Six years later, Advertising Age hailed 1984 as “The Commercial of the Decade.”
Two days after the Super Bowl, Apple CEO Steve Jobs—nattily attired in a bow tie and double-breasted blue blazer, and looking as dapper as a Hollywood leading man—stepped up to a mike in front of an auditorium packed with people eager to learn more about this new product. Behind Jobs was a large screen, and several feet away, on top of a table, was a simple nylon bag with a zipper around the top. After announcing, “All of the images you are about to see on the large screen will be generated by what’s in that bag,” Jobs removed the computer and another small object—a recent computer innovation known as a “mouse”—and set the bag aside. He then reached into his vest pocket, removed a disk, and inserted it into a slot in the front of the machine. Almost immediately, to Vangelis’s majestic theme song from the 1982 film Chariots of Fire, the machine came to life. There were howls of appreciation from the audience as the large screen duplicated the many graphic images on the computer’s nine-inch screen. It was an impressive kick-off, to be sure. And it was about to get better.
Jobs continued, “We’ve done a lot of talking about Macintosh recently. But today, for the first time ever, I’d like to let Macintosh speak for itself.” Then, in an electronic voice that sounded like the love child of Arnold Schwarzenegger and C–3PO from Star Wars, the computer began to speak. It was a first-time-ever experience for the audience, and they loved every minute of it. The computer began by cracking a joke about being let out of the bag, and then said:
Unaccustomed as I am to public speaking,
I’d like to share with you a maxim I thought of
the first time I met an IBM mainframe:
“Never trust a computer you can’t lift.”
The audience went wild over this clever swipe at Apple’s main rival in the computer business, and the demonstration drove home a point that Apple executives had long been making: computers didn’t have to be big, unattractive, and devoid of humor; they could be small, beautiful to look at, and lots of fun. The talking computer portion of the demonstration ended with a final—and extraordinarily clever—comment that was fully appreciated by all who knew that the Macintosh was the brainchild of the CEO in the front of the room:
Obviously I can talk, but right now I’d like to sit back and listen.
So, it is with considerable pride that I introduce
a man who’s been like a father to me . . . Steve Jobs.
Jobs went on to finish the launch, which is now regarded as one of the greatest product kick-offs in manufacturing history. As the months passed, it was obvious that the Mac had fundamentally altered the landscape of the personal computing world. And that clever line about never trusting a computer you can’t lift became one of the most popular quotations of 1984. You can view its inception yourself by going to the neverisms menu of my website (www.drmardy.com) and selecting the “YouTube Neverisms” link. When the line was first delivered, though, there were probably few in the audience who fully appreciated the place that never trust observations occupy in human history.