The massive tsunami wave of joy I’d felt moments earlier was already rushing back out to sea.
“Angel, please,” I begged, cuddling her close. “Please be okay. We’re all here now. Max, Fang, Iggy, Nudge, Gazzy, Dylan… we’re all right here. You’re safe. We’re all together. Please, sweetie, please wake up.” My words were coming in gasps.
Then—had I imagined it? Had her too-thin, too-light body shifted?
She made a tiny sound. Her eyelids fluttered.
“She’s alive!” Gazzy’s voice was hushed but thrilled.
A fierce joy swelled inside me. She was alive! She really was!
And she was going to stay that way, at least while I was on this planet. No matter what, I would never, ever let her out of my sight. We would never be separated again.
56
MY BRAIN WAS on a drunken loop of joy, disbelief, shock, ecstasy.
This is really my Angel, my own Angel….
The others crowded around and tried to touch and embrace her, so they, too, could truly believe what I was still trying to absorb. But I wouldn’t let go of her.
“We need to get her out of here,” Dylan instructed, gently pushing his way in close to help me lift her body. I hardly registered Fang’s irritated look. Nothing in the world mattered to me at that moment except keeping my little girl safe with me.
I stood up and carried Angel upstairs, into the light. Someone had padlocked her in that underground room—there would have been no way for her to get out. Someone had left her there to die.
“Max?” Her voice was barely a breath.
“Yes, sweetie,” I said, trying not to leak tears on her. “I’m here. We’re going to get you somewhere safe, get you all patched up, good as new.”
Her small head shook. “I’ll never be as good as new,” she whispered weakly. “They messed up my eyes. They clipped my wings.”
“What?”
“I’ll never fly again,” she whimpered sadly. Tears slowly streaked the dirt on her face.
Quickly I traced down her primary feathers to her flight feathers, fanning them gently in my hand. They looked fine.
“No, your feathers are okay,” I reassured her, understanding the kind of crazy confusion the whitecoats’ drugs could cause. “You’ll be fine—I promise. You’ll be flying in no time. We’ll take care of you.”
Her eyes opened slightly and she looked into the sky, past my head. “They experimented on my eyes, Max.”
A cold fist grabbed my heart and yanked. “What?”
“Like Iggy,” she confirmed, and I was seized with fresh horror. “Jeb was here—he said it was for my own good.” Her voice was weak—it was hard to make out what she was saying.
“Tell me, Angel,” I said urgently, pulling Gazzy to my side. “Who is standing right next to me? Tell me. Don’t tell me you’re blind.”
“I—I—” She blinked. And blinked again. We were all holding our breath. “My brother… Gazzy…” She breathed. “Is that you?”
Gazzy threw his arms around her and sobbed.
“Everything is kind of a blur,” Angel whispered as Gazzy pulled away.
“Shh, sweetie,” I said. “Don’t try to talk. You’re waking up from a drug-induced nightmare. We’ll make sure you’re okay. We’re going to take you home now.”
Again she shook her head, opened her eyes. She peered up at me anxiously, her eyes not quite focusing. “Max, your mom was there. I saw her. Dr. Martinez. She’s… she’s one of them.”
I looked up to see the flock recoiling in shock.
“No, sweetie,” I said, my mind reeling. “You’ve been hallucinating. Your feathers are fine, and my mom isn’t one of the baddies. It was all just weird hallucinations.”
Angel shook her head. “No. Your mom was there. She helped them. Dr. Martinez is on their side.”
57
I TRIED TO keep my emotions under control as we flew home, but sometimes I could barely see through the tears.
Angel weighed so little that it was no problem for Dylan, Iggy, Fang, and me to take turns carrying her on the flight. We also picked up Total on the return trip. I knew he’d want to see Angel right away, and I was right—I’d never heard him bark so wildly with joy.
As soon as Angel was settled—cleaned up and in fresh clothes, but still pale and worn out—I left her sleeping peacefully, with Nudge and Gazzy in charge and Total curled up at her side. I needed to be alone in the woods for a minute to get my emotions under control—otherwise I’d be a crying mess when Angel was finally ready to talk about what had happened.
So it wasn’t necessarily the best timing when Fang crept up quietly behind me, just like he always used to, and scared the stuffing out of me.
“We need to talk. About you. And me.”
I could feel the heat rising to my cheeks. “There is no you and me, per your instructions,” I said, my jaw clenching.
“I don’t know about that,” he said.
“Oh, please. You left,” I said accusingly. “Twice, actually. You threw any us we had in my face! Then you decided to get all hot and heavy with Maya.” That last part came out before I could stop it, and I cringed, remembering what Ari had said.
“Maya’s dead,” Fang said tensely, confirming what I already knew. I winced at the grief in his voice. “And this isn’t about her. It’s about the connection you and I have—will always have, no matter what.” I opened my mouth to retort, but nothing came out, so Fang forged right on, breaking my heart with his honesty.
“I heard a Voice, Max,” he said, gripping my arm, pulling me closer, “and it told me I needed to come home to you. Even though I had to practically walk the whole way. Even though I was close to dying. I came back. To you. And I wanted to tell you—maybe I never told you very clearly before…”
My heart was racing so fast I thought I was having a heart attack.
“I wanted to tell you that I—”
“Stop!” I cried, putting my hands over my ears. “Just don’t, okay?”
But Fang looked determined, and there was only one thing to do when he looked like that. I took off.
If I pour on the speed, I can hit almost three hundred miles per hour while flying—faster than any recombinant life-form I’ve ever heard about. Faster than anyone. Except Fang.
I was probably already a couple of miles away, still sniveling and cursing, when I felt a hand grab my sneaker. He stayed with me, matching me stroke for stroke without releasing his death grip on my ankle.
Finally it was too hard to stay balanced, so I put on the brakes. I banked steeply and whirled around to face him.
“Fang, I can’t hear this right now!” I shouted, tears streaming down my face. “My life is hard and confusing enough without you making it harder! Everything’s just really, you know, complicated, and…” I trailed off, thinking of the complicated things in my life. The other complicated someone.
“I’m not trying to make it harder or more confusing,” Fang said quietly, smiling that lopsided smile of his. Warm emotion showed in his black eyes, and for a minute I actually had to concentrate on staying airborne. “I’m trying to tell you what you already know. I just… need you. We need each other.”
“But I just can’t do this.” I flailed my arms around, indicating whatever this was—encompassing everything. “With you. Not now, not today, not after everything we’ve been through with Angel, so…” I swallowed, trying to ignore my stupid heart. “Just don’t say any more,” I whispered. “Please.”