Adeenya offered no response. They both knew what he said was true. The truth he spoke was the same for all soldiers.
"It's the same for me, sister," Jhoqo said. "But my love of my comrades has grown beyond just my fellow soldiers. That sense of glorious obligation you feel to your brothers in arms, I feel to my fellow countrymen, in fact, all southerners as a whole. Their pain is my agony, their triumph my joy."
Adeenya did not attempt to hide her laughter, letting it echo in the room, hoping more than anything to watch it float to his ears and crush his head with its melodious force and wrathful earnestness.
Jhoqo frowned and shook his head. "I thought that, of anyone here, of anyone I've met in a long time, you would understand. He had hoped you would too."
Adeenya sprang to her feet, her face flushing red as she said, "Taennen thought I would understand your rhetoric?"
Jhoqo took a single step back, his hand going to the hilt of his sword at the woman's sudden movement. When it was clear she was not advancing, her words seemed to sink in, and the man shook his head. "Taennen? Gods, no. He doesn't understand, either," Jhoqo said.
"Then who?" Adeenya asked. Without responding, Jhoqo moved toward the door. "Wait. Who was hoping I would understand?" she asked.
"It does not matter. He was wrong, for the first time since I've known him," Jhoqo responded.
"Sometimes we don't know ourselves as well as others in our lives do," Adeenya said. She had gone too far, pushed too hard. She needed to keep him talking until the time was right if she wanted to escape.
Jhoqo stopped a few paces from the door, his eyes narrowing as he faced her and said, "Yes, that is so."
Adeenya started to speak, but no words came. She ran her hands through her ruddy hair and leaned against the windowed wall. "Maybe this person of whom you speak…" she said, hoping Jhoqo would finish the thought.
When no response came, Adeenya looked up to find him staring hard at her. "When I started this mission, I thought I knew what being in the military meant," she said.
"And now?" Jhoqo responded.
"I don't… you were right, you know, when you said that I live for the camaraderie of this life. More than anything, I long for that sense of community, of knowing that the man next to me on that battle line is living as much for me as for himself," she said. "I thought I had that. Maybe I did, even, but when I saw your men, I knew there was more," she said. "I'm not going to pretend that I agreed with all of your decisions as their leader, but they followed you without question, and they really seemed to enjoy working side by side. They know one another, and they care about one another."
"Your soldiers don't?" he asked.
"They do. We do," she said, sighing. "But part of me always wonders…"
"What?" he asked.
"They're mercenaries, more or less. Are they here solely for the coin?" she said, locking eyes with the man.
Jhoqo smiled and said, "And what's wrong with profiting from the work you do? A soldier works harder than any other person alive. My troops and I all benefit from our work."
She shook her head. "But you didn't join an outfit like the Maquar for that. You joined because you wanted to dedicate yourself to something bigger."
"But the two can go together," the Maquar said. "In fact, they must. That's what most people miss. That's what Taennen misses.
"Jeradeem Seltarir, father of the Adama, taught us that everything is part of everything else, no? That's why he was such a fine trader. He knew that the more business he did and the more coin he made, then the more he could spend to improve the lives of others, and the more he could pay the people in his own chaka," Jhoqo said, bending down to rest on his haunches. "Commerce is our lifeblood, and we must defend it."
"Taennen does not agree with you?" Adeenya asked.
Jhoqo sighed, settling on the floor, his legs crossing easily. If she wasn't careful and she ran, he would catch her with just as little effort. "It's not a matter of agreement, it is one of understanding. He has grown no closer to understanding during the past several years. I had hopes for him, but it appears Taennen will never be any more than he is now," Jhoqo said.
"And what is that?" she asked.
"Like most men, he is a tool, a device to carry out the commands of the craftsman who wields him." "So he's a good soldier?" she asked. "Excellent, I would say," Jhoqo replied.
"But?"
"A good soldier follows orders and even thinks creatively, but he is a tool. A good leader, on the other hand, needs to do more," Jhoqo said. "A good leader's orders can be mediocre, but he has the guts, the fortitude, and the assertiveness to give them and see them done."
"So Taennen is lacking confidence?" Adeenya asked, knowing the man's answer and finding herself grudgingly agreeing with him.
"Correct."
"What about his decision in the battle against the form-ians?" she asked.
"A costly one, to be sure," Jhoqo said. "However, if he had had the willpower to stand up to me when I addressed him about it, to stand by his decision and not even offer to defend it, then he would have shown more promise. As it was, he realized that he could not change things. Once he understood that, he did not mope on the subject further. A positive step, certainly."
"So your goal is to help your countrymen, not just your fellow Maquar?" Adeenya asked, eyes flicking to the door. The Chondathans' footsteps had not returned.
"To help all people of the Shining South, not just those from Estagund," Jhoqo said.
"How?"
"By opening new doors for them, by giving them new things to learn, new ideas to consider, and new trades to profit from," Jhoqo said.
Eyes squinted, Adeenya asked, "How do you manage that?"
Jhoqo smiled. "I'm afraid I can't share that with you." "How does letting Marlke die achieve that?" she said, peeling the accusatory tone from her voice.
The man took a deep breath and said, "Like Taennen, Marlke was a device, and he had served his purpose. He was no longer capable of adapting to the situation, changing to be useful. In fact, it was only in death that he could serve our cause one final time."
"Tell me about the cause," she said.
Jhoqo merely shook his head.
"Then how am I to learn about this way of being that you've shared with me?" she asked. She was losing him, and fast.
"You're probably not going to, nor do you even want to. You've only been asking in order to distract me and purchase some much needed time to think for yourself," he replied.
"You've made me think," she said.
"Maybe. Maybe not. It doesn't matter," he said.
"Why not?"
"Because I cannot take the chance of setting you free and I cannot kill you," Jhoqo said with a shrug before turning onto his side to prop himself to his feet. "He would never allow it. I would jeopardize my place in the coming era if I acted to bring about your demise."
Adeenya saw her opportunity and took it. Dashing forward as Jhoqo came to one knee, Adeenya plowed her shoulder into the side of the man's face, bouncing herself off the wall but forcing him to take most of the impact. Scrambling to her feet, she dived into him again, this time sending her knee into his chest, letting it continue upward into his throat as her right hand snatched for the hilt of his sword.
Shuffling sounds outside the door told her the guards had returned and heard the ruckus inside. Without regard for stealth, she unsheathed the man's enormous falchion and kicked him in the jaw. The footsteps outside were just beyond the door. She had to move quickly.
Adeenya drew the sword high over her head. She felt something in her hands, a thrumming that urged her forward. The enchanted blade pulsed with power. She charged forward, the sword plunging ahead, biting into and through the wooden door with a loud report. Splinters flew outward, blasting the passageway beyond.