Fuck.
I needed to move, fast and stealthily, and I needed to heal. I needed to be my wolf.
Thick branches made my exit from the shrub difficult but I managed it while getting a hundred more nicks on my arms and neck. When I was free and in the shadow of the huge plant, I called to my wolf.
The twinge of pain I usually experienced, morphed sharply into a stabbing jar of agony. Shocked and overcome with a rush of betrayal, I locked my jaw and pushed inward, forcing my body to change. When it stubbornly refused to shift, I sagged and squeezed my eyes shut. Frustration buzzed through me.
Tears formed in my eyes and spilled out onto my cheeks. She’d always been there, my wolf, the other part of me that made me whole. Why was she refusing to come now, when I needed her most?
My muscles tightened and ached as I tried again and again to sink into the change and become my wolf, but it wouldn’t work. Something was wrong. Hot tears wet my shirt.
Panic set in and everything I’d just seen and felt came rushing back to drag me under. It felt like a tidal wave of emotion hitting me full in the chest and I gasped in air, trying to breathe.
I sank to my knees and wished I was anywhere but here. Why had my parents forced me to come? Why couldn’t they have just been happy with me attending a local university so I could see them whenever I wanted and I could be safe?
I closed my eyes and pictured my parents. They were good people, the best I knew, and I’d give anything to be back with them right now. I could almost hear my father’s voice singing old Newfoundland tunes as he worked out back.
You’re as stubborn as the day is long, my love. It was one of his favorite things to say to me. But, I love you more than life itself.
If I’d been more stubborn, I’d be home, I thought bitterly. Instead, I’d stayed quiet and gone along with their plans because I didn’t want to hurt them. Well, they’d be hurt when I was shot and killed by maniacs.
You can’t force blood out of a turnip, you know.
That was his second favorite colloquialism, although he’d chuckle to be heard it called such. It was a stupid expression, anyway, I thought, then wished I could hear him say it one more time.
Maybe I was stubborn, but if I was, I’d gotten that particular characteristic from him. I wondered what he’d say to me now.
You can’t force blood out of a turnip, you know.
I let out a shaky laugh and shook my head. Words of wisdom that meant absolutely nothing.
I frowned.
I was trying to force my body to change, was I? My heart was pounding, sweat was running down my back, I was a mess and hurt. My eyebrows rose in surprise as I realized that I’d never needed to change under duress.
“Thanks dad,” I whispered. I shifted until I was sitting on the soft ground and closed my eyes. Slowly, I inhaled and exhaled, finding my center, then I reached out to my wolf.
There you are, I thought.
This time, she came willingly. My bones shifted, my muscles contracted, my vision altered. In moments, I climbed to my feet covered in fur with my cuts already healed and my sprained ankle noticeably less painful. I shrugged free of my clothes and lifted my nose to the air.
I could smell them, the guards, the attackers, whoever they were. Their scent was everywhere, mixed with the terror they were causing. I could smell blood, and sweat, and the silver bullets they were using against their own kind. For no good reason.
They’d killed kids. That boy in the courtyard had been no more than twenty-two or twenty-three and now he was dead, murdered, and for what?
I shook my head as if that could wipe the memory of his murder from my mind. It didn’t work. It stayed like a thick greasy stain on my mind and made me feel dirty for even trying to forget about it.
If I didn’t, though, I reasoned as I took my first step out into the open, Xavier would die.
I kept to the shadows of the tall buildings. The sun had moved steadily west, casting shadows that provided a measure of cover, although the perfect fall day denied me any real safety.
It was so strange that the sun was still shining. Didn’t it know this was a place of death and mourning now?
I moved as swiftly as I could with the walkie-talkie and my cell phone tucked securely in my mouth, stopping to sniff the air and locate the guards stationed near me so I could avoid them. They were still in human form, so that gave me a slight advantage. Their sense of smell would be far less than mine, right now.
Then again, they had guns and silver bullets.
The library and the science building were connected by a skywalk that overlooked a garden where the botany club amused themselves or so the brochure had said. I worked my way to the edge of the library and took stalk of the situation. There were two guards at the opposite end of the garden, talking quietly. I needed them to turn away or move so I could dart across the opening and into the shade of the big apple tree no more than forty feet from where I stood.
After a few minutes of watching, I began to get antsy. I was exposed here, at the edge of the brick building. If I could just make it across the opening, I’d have better cover. I cursed the guards for ignoring their duties then almost choked when I remembered their duties included rounding up my fellow students and putting bullets in kids’ heads.
Fuck it. I waited ten more seconds, watching to see if they’d even glance up from their intense tete-a-tete, then lunged forward. I sprinted across the open ground in a matter of seconds, then tucked myself behind the tree, my entire body vibrating with nerves.
I breathed a sigh of relief and turned to keep moving when I heard one of the guards ask the other. “Do you smell that?”
My heart dropped and it took every ounce of brains I had not to give into the crushing sense of panic that welled up so furiously that it felt as if I’d been swallowed. Panic hadn’t done me any favors earlier and I wouldn’t allow it to paralyze me now.
“I’ll go check it out,” one of them said, then started down the garden path in my direction.
I swiveled my head around, looking for somewhere to hide or something to cover my scent with. He’d smelled me, maybe my blood or fear, but it was my scent that had given me away. It would be my big furry body that would give me away now, though, if I didn’t move my ass.
I bolted in the opposite direction, looking for a place to disappear. When I saw an open window at ground level, I didn’t think I just moved. My body was smaller as a wolf but still the opening was barely big enough for me to squeeze through. I leapt to the floor just as I heard the guard round the corner and call out for his buddy to “Stay out here. I’ll check inside.”
His footsteps moved past the window then up a set of stairs nearby and I heard the unmistakable sound of a door opening and shutting as my stomach nearly rebelled on the spot.
He was in the building with me.
Chapter 16
I raced to the door of what had turned out to be a laboratory of some kind and stopped short when I saw that it was closed. I put the walkie-talkie and phone onto the floor and forced myself to relax and shift.