“Do you think I want to go?” It burst out of her, a quick flood of anger and heat. “I went back once, to that room, to those streets, even to the alley where they found me. I got through that, and I promised myself I’d never go back. He’s dead here, and here,” she said, putting her hands on her head. “And I don’t know if going there will bring him back again. God, I don’t want to face that again, having him alive in my head. What do you expect me to do? Let her die because I’m afraid of him, of all of it?”
“No.” Mira spoke quietly now. “I expect you to go, to do your job, to find him, and to stop him.”
“You just wanted me to break down first?”
“Yes, exactly. I care about you, Eve. You’re so much more to me than another case file. I care about you as I do about my own children, and am perfectly aware those feelings can and do make it difficult for both of us from time to time.”
She let out a sound, a mix of sorrow and regret. “A mother protects her child above all. She also has to let her go, but not without being sure her child is prepared and armed and ready. If you couldn’t admit to yourself and to me those fears, those doubts, you couldn’t be ready. Now I can let you go, even wishing I could stop you.”
“I don’t want to go.” The breath Eve let out scraped at her throat like nails. “I couldn’t live with myself if I didn’t.”
“I know. He’ll use whatever he knows about your history, like salt in a wound. He’ll play mind games, prodding where you’re most vulnerable. I need you to promise you’ll contact me if you need help.”
Eve walked back, sat. “It makes it difficult from time to time, on my end, because my memories of a mother are twisted and ugly. She hated me. That’s the foremost memory I have of her. The hate in her eyes when she looked at me. So I don’t know how to respond when the offer of, I guess, a maternal type of affection and support is . . . pure or whatever.”
“I understand that. It’s something we can delve into deeper when you’re ready.” Mira laid a hand over Eve’s. “Promise you’ll let me know if you need my help.”
“I do. I will.”
Rising, Mira started for the door, stopped. “You’re stronger than you were, and you were always strong. You’re smarter than you were, and you were always smart. You have more because you let yourself give and take more. He hasn’t changed since you stopped him. You have. Use that,” she said, and opened the door.
“Commander,” Mira said when Whitney came back in. “In my opinion, Lieutenant Dallas is clear for this assignment.”
“The choice is yours, Lieutenant.”
“You know I’ve made it, sir.”
“Very well. Lieutenant Ricchio has cleared you as well, and to take another investigator at your discretion. If you want Peabody, I’ll have it done.”
“Peabody’s needed here, Commander. She’s studied the case files, already has the research and data on the partner. As well as a suspect in custody for accessory who may have more information. I want her to continue to work the case from here. To work it as primary.”
“That’s your call.”
“I’ll brief her. I’ll take Roarke, as expert consultant, civilian, if he’s available.”
“Make whatever arrangements you deem best, and contact me when you’re in the air.” He drew a disc from his pocket. “Data on Ricchio, Detective Jones, the other detectives and officers you’ll most likely work with.”
“Thank you, sir. That’s . . . thorough.”
“I know my cops,” he said briefly. “It’ll save you from running them. Good hunting, Lieutenant.”
She hurried back to Homicide. She’d have time to think, review, plan on the trip, but for now she had to move fast.
She spotted Peabody eyeing the dubious choices at Vending outside the bullpen. “Peabody, with me.”
She went straight through into her office.
“I’ve got Stibble holding. I was just going to grab some lunch, then—”
“Grab it later. McQueen’s in Dallas. He grabbed Melinda Jones, one of his former vics, last night.”
“Is she alive?”
“Assumed. He left a message for her twin sister. I’ve been invited down there to play with him.”
“To—” Peabody broke off, shut the door. “Does he know what happened to you there?”
“Undetermined.” As she spoke, Eve packed a file box. “I’m leaving asap.”
“You mean we.”
“No, I don’t. I need you here. I want you to handle Stibble. Wring him dry. Continue to find out anything you can on this Sister Suzan. She’ll be in Dallas. She’ll have laid the groundwork for McQueen. They’ve got a place, somewhere private enough to hold a hostage. She’ll have a place of her own, close by. Use Baxter and Trueheart. If you need more manpower, let me know and I’ll arrange it.”
“You’re not going there alone.” Peabody shifted to block the door, and had Eve’s eyebrows lifting.
“Were your orders unclear, Detective?”
“Don’t pull that shit on me, Dallas. Just don’t. It’s a trap, and worse, it’s there. It’s where . . . it’s there.”
“I know where it is, and of course he’s figuring it’s a trap. He’ll want to string it out for a while, have some fun with it. That’s a mistake.”
Now Peabody folded her arms, planted her feet. “I’m going with you.”
“Peabody, I know you’ve been working on improving your hand-to-hand, but I can take you down in five seconds flat.” She took a breath as Peabody’s face only tightened into fiercer lines. First Mira, she thought, now this.
“If I can’t handle myself I don’t have any business with this badge or this office.”
“That’s not the point. This is different.”
“Every case is different, and how we deal with every case is different. But what’s the same is we work it, we do the job, and we take the risks the job demands. That’s it.”
She considered demoralizing her partner by moving her bodily from the door. Not only would it leave a bad taste in her mouth, but she needed Peabody on top, confident, clean-headed.
And under it, she just didn’t have the heart to slap back the concern of her partner. Her friend.
“I’m going to talk to Roarke right now, see if he can clear some time to go along as a consultant. The commander cleared it with Dallas PSD. Don’t question me on this, Peabody. I need to go, and I need to go knowing you’re capable of taking charge of the investigation from here.”
“In charge? Me? But Baxter—”
“You studied McQueen, and you’re familiar with all stages of the investigation to this point. You’re a goddamn decorated officer of this department. And you will take the lead on the New York end of this investigation as you’ve been trained to do. You will not let me down.”
“I won’t let you down. Please don’t go alone. If Roarke can’t leave this minute, take one of the other men. Take backup that’s familiar, that you know you can trust. You don’t know the people down there.”
“I’ve data on all of them. If Roarke’s not available, I’ll consider hooking Feeney into it.”
“Okay. But if you need me—”
“I know where you are. Now I’ve got to go. He only gave me eight hours and it’s ticking away fast. Send me whatever you get out of Stibble, whatever you get on the partner.”
“I’ll stay in regular contact.” With some reluctance Peabody moved away from the door, followed Eve out. “How do you want me to play Stibble? Should I—”
“You know what to do. Do it. Now brief the men.” Without another word she left.
She pulled out her ’link, tagged Baxter as she worked down the levels to the garage.
“Yo,” Baxter said.
“I’m headed out of town, following a lead on McQueen. Peabody’s taking over here. I want you and Trueheart working with her. She’s primary.”
“Copy that.”