Felicity asks if we can skip Reno and keep driving. We're only four hours from home and she says it makes no sense to stop again. It's a little after five and I see her point, but I really wanted to pamper her one last time before we have to start being adults. It was a surprise, the spa. I have to tell her if I'm going to convince her to stop.
"There's a spa in Reno that I made reservations for us at. I can cancel them if you really want to keep going, but I was hoping that we could pamper ourselves one last time before we have to grow up and be adults." I give her my "pretty-please" look as she likes to call it. I only pull it out when I really want something. Right now, I really want a mud bath and a massage.
"That actually sounds amazing, Reagan. Thank you for everything. This has been the most amazing trip I've ever been on and it wouldn't have been as much fun with anyone else."
Her words bring tears to my eyes. I'm so lucky to have found Felicity. I wouldn't have made it through college without her pushing me, keeping me grounded and believing in me.
July 3, 2009
Luke,
I'm not sure why I'm writing you. I'm not even sure if the address I have is right. I guess I'm just checking in. I want you to know that I'm not living in New Haven anymore.
I graduated from Yale a few months ago and now I'm back in Pacific Grove. I'm right on the water. I never thought that I would want to be so close to it, but it's amazing. We spend most of our nights sitting on the back porch drinking wine and talking.
Felicity is here with me. Did I ever tell you about her? She was my roommate at Yale. She's amazing.
There's so much that I want to tell you but not in a letter. I want to talk to you, discuss the last four years of my life with you. I really wish you would come visit.
Elliot told me that you signed up for another four years. I hope you didn't do that to avoid seeing me. I get the feeling that you did. I wish I knew why. Where I went wrong. I wish I could fix this, fix us. Things were supposed to be different, remember? We were going to be great together. Like I said, I wish we could talk about this, in person.
I hope things are well with you, wherever you are.
Reagan
WORK. HOME. WORK. HOME.
My life feels like a swinging door. On one side of the door is my bed where I sleep for a maximum of six hours a night. On the other side is my office where I spent at least twelve to fourteen hours a day. When I took this job, I don't think I realized what kind of a commitment it would entail. I've made progress, but it's taken me a ton of time.
A year and a half to be exact. I was promoted after being with the company just less than a year. At 24 years old, I'm the youngest CEO they've ever had. My hours are crazy, but the rewards are greater for my hard work. There's more travel and less personal time. If I were attempting to create a lasting relationship with anyone, I would be concerned. It's a good thing that's not the case.
I've missed out on a lot. I worked straight through the holidays this year. My parents wanted to take me on vacation to Europe after Christmas and I wasn't able to get away. I spent New Year’s Eve in my office, got home just in time to see the ball drop and then I went to bed.
In a weird way, I miss college. I miss having holiday vacations. I miss being able to do whatever I wanted whenever I wanted. Being an adult isn't all it's cracked up to be. It's rewarding as hell, especially now that things are on the right track, but it's not fun.
I'm leaving the office after only ten hours for the first time in months. I don't feel guilty, either. Everything is done. No loose ends to tie up when I go back to work on Monday. I can relax and enjoy my weekend. Hopefully without any calls from clients.
I'm not a lawyer, but you would think that I am from time to time with as many calls as I field.
Tonight is my first date in over three months. I'm excited to be able to relax and enjoy myself without having to worry about anything. Felicity is going to double with me. Will seems like a nice guy, but I don't know him very well so I convinced him to find a friend to double with us.
Felicity seems excited about it. I can't remember the last time she went out on a date. She's been on a few since we moved here but not many. She devotes most of her time to work like she devoted her time to school.
I call Felicity on my way home to let her know that I'm almost there. I can hear the excitement in her voice to be free for the weekend. We're meeting the guys at a bar close to our place for dinner and drinks. I have a little less than an hour to get home and change before we need to be out the door.
Felicity is waiting for me the second I walk through the door, talking a mile a minute about her day. I've never met anyone that loves their job as much as Felicity does. She makes getting ready a challenging process as she follows me from room to room.
We're out the door and on our way to the bar in record time. I want to get there before the guys do. I need a drink to calm my nerves. I haven't been nervous like this in years. I met Will a few months ago at the gym. He's one of their personal trainers. I accidentally hit on him a few weeks ago. I didn't think he was within earshot but when his head whipped around I knew I was wrong. Instead of the reaction I was expecting, he smiled at me and flirted right back.
Taking my first sip, I feel my body relax slightly. I'm going to need a few more before I'm completely ready for this night to begin, but I'll get there. Felicity's excitement faded the second I turned the car off. She's been quiet ever since we sat down.
"What's on your mind?" I ask her as I take another sip of my Bacardi and coke.
"Nothing. I guess I'm a little nervous." She's twisting the stem of her wine glass between her thumb and forefinger.
"There's nothing to be nervous about. If the guy’s a douche we'll leave."
"Maybe nervous isn't the word. I don't know anything about this guy and neither do you. That scares me a little. I have no idea what to expect. Will he be tall or short? Thin or fat? Handsome or repulsive? I just wish I knew something about him. Anything. What does he do for a living?"
"I didn't ask Will. This was a spur of the moment decision. I'm sure he's nice."
Her eyes focus on her wine for a few seconds before she takes a large sip. We wait for the guys in silence. I hear Will's voice before I see him. I turn around to wave and notice who's with him. I'm going to throw up.
Walking beside Will, directly towards our table, is none other than Frank Collins. An acquaintance from high school. A person that I could live the rest of my life without seeing again and never miss. He was friends with Luke until he stabbed him in the back their senior year when he slept with Luke's girlfriend. Not the kind of guy I want anywhere near me or Felicity.
Elliot beat the crap out of him after Luke left for boot camp because Luke refused to acknowledge the situation. He broke up with Jenna and moved on. Frank would try and get Luke riled up in the halls, hoping for a confrontation, but Luke acted as if he wasn't fazed by it. In the beginning, I thought he was hiding his feelings. It wasn't until after our kiss I realized that he actually didn't give a shit.
Frank did him a favor. He ended things with Jenna for him. After almost two years of dating her, Luke was free. He didn't have to make up a reason or lie to her. Her feelings didn't get hurt. I'm sure he would have broken it off with her before he left anyway.