I would have offered her punch and Cheetos but that was put away. It was really sexy to see someone so corporate who professionally traveled the world and talked to people about dildos. Sorry—I mean—leather collars. I had no idea this type of “real job” existed.
“Did you work the graveyard shift?” she asked.
“Yeah! I do. I mean I did. That’s me!”
“That’s rough. You must be so tired by now! Not many stores stay open twenty-four hours anymore. That’s cool that you guys do,” she said.
“Oh, I thought all stores like this did. I had no idea. I’ve actually, in all honesty, never even been in any adult store, other than this one. So I wouldn’t know!”
“Really?”
“Yeah, I mean, I never really had a reason to.”
She smiled at me. “There’s always a reason to learn more about sex.”
I never thought of sex as something I had to learn about. It was just something I occasionally did. I never had anyone to talk about it in detail with and the few partners I had were definitely not adventurous. An “adventure” to my last boyfriend was to have the quietest, quickest sex we could possibly have so his roommate wouldn’t wake up. I always wanted more, but I wasn’t sure how to say it. Even with all the feminist literature I read and women’s studies classes I took, I still very much felt like the men in my life were the ones who were supposed to initiate sex.
Amanda walked around the store, and took photos of where the JT Stockroom products were located. I noticed a common theme; all the more expensive leather products had their name on the tag. She stopped suddenly in one of the rows and pointed to a metal box that was slightly hidden behind a bunch of boxes of vibrators. Looked like a lunchbox or something that belonged to the Oracle in The Matrix.
“Well that’s not a good place for this! Why do you have it tucked away like that?”
“I’m sorry, what is that?” I nervously laughed. I really had no idea what it was. I had never seen that silver box before, and I’m noticing now there was a $350 price tag on it.
She opened the box and pulled out this black wand with a glass attachment. There were several other glass attachments elegantly placed inside of the box inside of carved-out slots in black foam.
“It’s an electric wand,” she said. She pushed a button on the side of the wand and it lit up. “Looks like it’s still got some charge in it!”
“What is that for? Do we use that when the power goes out or something?” I laughed. It wasn’t a very funny joke. The more nervous I get, the worse my jokes get.
“It’s for electrical play. It’s a really neat product of ours! Here—I’ll show you!” Amanda was so assertive. It truly was a new and very exciting thing for me to be spoken to with such confidence by a woman in a suit. I finally dropped the damn broom that had been in my hands (I can deal with the splinters later). She ran the wand up my arm and it showed a blue glowing light. It shocked me in an exhilarating way. It was like a tight pinch—it woke me up, and I wanted it more.
“Turn it up a little higher!” I said, and she did. The shock on my arm was stronger; it was so strange to feel excited by a small amount of pain on my arm.
“Wanna see something really cool?” she asked.
“Well, yeah, of course I do,” I answered.
She took her suit jacket off and threw it on top of a pile of disorganized dildos in boxes. She pulled up the right arm of the most chic-looking, white button-down top I had ever seen, and revealed fishnet covered legs of a 1950s pin-up girl tattoo. She reached over aggressively and held my hand, gave me the wand, and told me to put the wand on her arm.
“I don’t want to do it wrong!” I was nervous about causing permanent damage to her tattoo, which took up a lot of space on her arm.
“Literally just put it on my arm, you can’t possibly do it wrong.”
I took a deep breath to calm my nerves, then I ran it up and down her arm as she held my hand. She shook and smiled, and a few seconds later I felt the shock in my arm.
“Holy shit!” I said. “Let me do that again!”
I continued to hold onto her hand, and ran the wand up her arm, and it shocked me again.
“Our arms are working together as a converter.”
“That is so crazy!”
“I’ve done demonstrations at different stores and had fifteen customers holding hands, and the shock went all the way through them all. You should try it on them sometime! It’s really a lot of fun.”
“Wow, so—wait—do people use that, like, during
sex?”
She laughed. “Well, it’s an impact toy. You can keep it light and just use it as a tease, or you can turn it up and make it more painful. I guess it’s really more for kinky foreplay!”
I had never before heard the terms “electrical play” or “impact toys” in my life. It sounded dangerous. I liked it. I mean, what would you do if you were interested in that kind of thing and you didn’t have this? What else qualifies as an “impact toy?” Do people stick their fingers into wall sockets to get off if they don’t have this special silver lunchbox?
I thought of Amir. I thought of electrocuting his thighs as he “jelked.” I bet a little sting just around his balls would have done him some good while he stretched his penis for the woman of his dreams.
“That was really cool. And I’m definitely awake now. Thanks.” I laughed.
“So, what time are you done?” she asked me.
“Oh—pretty soon. About an hour. Why?”
“You wanna meet me at my hotel for breakfast when you get off—I mean—when you’re done? Whatever happens first.” She winked at me and laughed. I hadn’t yet seen someone inside this store in the world outside this store. This was like all my lives colliding together, even though I didn’t have much of a life other than sleep and Starbucks outside of here.
She didn’t wait for my answer. She handed me a card and wrote the name of her hotel and her room number on it. It was a very cool and confident way to say, I’ll be here, come if you want to, or not, I don’t really give a shit.
8
Amanda left the store, and I couldn’t help but watch her leave, her body swaying deliberately (I think, though maybe that was my imagination). Shortly after, Sandy came in, ready to start her day and mark the end of mine.
“Good morning, hon’!” she said. “How was the rest of your night?”
“Fine! Good morning, um, did you know you had some appointment with a sales rep from JT Stockroom?”
“Sales rep from what?”
“JT Stockroom—the company that makes all the leather stuff and this really cool electrical wand that was hiding behind the dildos over there.” I pointed at the lunchbox, now sitting by the register.
“Oh, that was today? Well, anyone is welcome to come by. I will be here!”
“Do people from the sex toy companies come by a lot?” I asked.
“Once in a while. We’re not a big chain so they don’t go out of their way, but if I buy the stuff, they’ll find me!”
Sandy spoke to me as she put on her bright red “wet and wild” lipstick that went far outside the outline of her lips.
“How do you decide what to order?” I asked.