I decided to venture out and go to other adult stores for comparative purposes. I did some research and found a few in the area—I had no idea some of these stores were on Yelp. Dreamz was not found on there. I wasn’t sure if that was for better or for worse.
There was a Hustler store about forty miles away. It was right in the middle of downtown next to all the nightclubs and bars. I had seen it before and never went in. I honestly thought it was a clothing store for Hustler apparel, I didn’t know they had a selection of sex toys and adult videos. The outside truly looked like a clothing store—it was decorated out front like any store you would see in the mall, with nice lighting and attractive window displays with mannequins wearing fashionable Hustler branded pants and bedazzled tank tops. The outside of Dreamz didn’t even have a store sign. Sandy told me there was at one point but it fell down in a hurricane and never got put back up. Instead there was a small blue neon sign outside of Dreamz that read “VIDEO, DVD, XXX.” Not sure if that was intended to be one sentence, or three words, and I wasn’t sure what the difference between “video” and DVD even was.
I parked my car a few blocks away from Hustler and right above my car was a billboard advertisement for an upcoming gig of Jimmy’s at a nightclub in the area. All I could think was, Ha! I saw his cock. So weird. Go me.
I walked into the Hustler store and it was pristine. Half the store had shiny hardwood flooring and the other half had red carpeting, with intricate, repeating gold paisley designs. Life-size images of beautiful, busty models wearing Hustler branded lingerie decorated the doors of the dressing rooms, while current pop music was playing on the loud speakers. There was a fully functional cafe inside, with a cute tattooed barista girl making lattes, cappuccinos, and chai teas. There were glass display cases with rotating discs inside showing off high-end vibrators. A few of them we actually did have in stock at Dreamz but they looked completely different being all illuminated the way they were here.
I got myself an incredibly delicious latte; the foam up top was crafted into a design of a heart. It was so neat, I didn’t want to drink it. I snapped a photo of it and made it the background wallpaper on my phone.
“Can I help you with anything?” A tall, thin, handsome metrosexual man in skinny black jeans and a Hustler V-neck top asked me.
“No! I’m just looking around, thank you!”
“Just so you know, all of our apparel is thirty percent off today!” He pointed at a wall filled with neatly organized T-shirts, hats, and sweatshirts.
“Oh thanks! I will be sure to check it out.”
“If you want to try on anything let me know and I will start a room for you.”
“Great! Thanks!”
I chuckled to myself. “Starting a room” at Dreamz is an entirely different experience. The rooms we have available are for masturbating and fucking. The only place to try on clothing is the bathroom, and that bathroom doubles as a supply closet for our mop, broom, and an abnormally large stock of paper towels.
“Be sure to stick around for Dr. Erica’s seminar! She’ll be here in about 30 minutes.”
“Oh? Well, okay!”
I had no idea who Dr. Erica was, but I went along with it. I noticed that in the cafe area, a few more attractive staff members were setting up chairs. There were at least ten employees here! And more and more of them kept appearing.
In addition to clothing, movies, and toys, Hustler also had a large selection of books. Like, actual books, not magazines with titles like Big and Busty. One of the employees grabbed a stack of books and moved them over to the cafe with the circle of folding chairs. I casually picked one up; it was titled The Female Orgasm, written by Dr. Erica Soren. This must be the Dr. Erica who was coming to the store. I sat in one of the folding chairs with my coffee that was now cold. I had spent too long holding onto it and not drinking it because I didn’t want to break my pretty foam heart.
Over the next fifteen minutes, the chairs filled up with various women, looking like they were there for some kind of paralegal or pharmaceutical conference from the way they were dressed. They were middle aged, in various suits and blazers, not at all like the ultra-stylish button-down/ jacket combo that Amanda wore. These looked like a group of upper middle-class Tampa mothers, people who definitely wouldn’t go anywhere near Dreamz—or so I thought.
As I continued to study the prim women sitting around me, a woman in a red turtleneck walked into the group, her hair in a tight, neat bun, and carrying a brown leather briefcase. The mothers suddenly stopped their idle chitchat, stood up, and clapped. I assume this must be the Dr. Erica from the book. She was led in by the same store employee who told me about the sale on clothing.
“Good evening, everyone!’ the employee shouted. “Who’s ready to get down and dirty with themselves?”
Everyone laughed, including the woman who I assumed was Dr. Erica.
“This woman needs no introduction, but I’m going to introduce her, anyway. We are pleased to bring you a PhD sexologist, author, sex educator; The New York Times called her the principal voice for women’s sexual pleasure, and she’s a dear lover of three cats. Put your hands together for Dr. Erica Soren!”
Everyone clapped. Dr. Erica took a modest bow, waving her hands around as if to tell the crowd she didn’t want the applause but was definitely enjoying it. She slammed her briefcase on a table in front of her.
“Let’s talk about our vaginas!” she said.
From her briefcase she took out a diagram of the vagina labeled with different erogenous zones, and with no hesitation began to describe the parts of the labia and their impact on sexual arousal. The women intently listened to her lecture and some even took notes. She explained the difference between internal and external orgasms, she took out different dildos and vibrators and explained how to use them by rubbing them against the vagina diagram in the appropriate spots, and she had a recommended lube pairing with each kind of toy. The glass curved G-spot dildo paired with a silicone lube. The Cyberskin dildo paired with a water-based lube. As a bonus she showed the class some new kind of lube that looked exactly like semen and recommended for women to use it on their partners while giving them a hand job.
“Then they will feel like their load is bigger than it is and that always makes men feel better,” she said. The class cracked up laughing.
She concluded the lecture by talking about anal sex.
“Let’s go a little south of the vagina. Believe it or not, it is possible to have an orgasm inside your ass. For some women it’s incredibly pleasurable. Don’t think of anal sex as something you have to do so your husband gets you that Marc Jacobs handbag you’ve always wanted.”
The audience laughed. This was most certainly humor that was not geared toward my demographic; husbands, handbags, and anal sex were three things that were not part of my life, at all.
However, it was interesting to hear about. She encouraged the group to use a butt plug, to have multiple vaginal orgasms before entering the butt, and she recommended breathing exercises to relax, and of course suggested yet another lube.
“And women—it’s a good idea for YOU to anally penetrate YOUR MAN! It goes both ways! It’s the best way for him to understand everything that’s involved in the erogenous zones in the rectum.”
The lecture concluded to incredible applause. They loved this sex doctor!
Then the class opened up to a question and answer session.
“I just gave birth about a month ago, and since then penetration has been painful. It’s made me so depressed! Is this normal? Do you have any advice for me?” one of the women in the class asked.