“It’s, it’s Maya,” the young girl mumbled.
“Well, hi Maya. It’s very nice to meet you; and all of you! We have so many wonderful things to talk about, and I’ll jump right in! Like I said earlier, I’m pretty new to masturbation, myself. I’ve just recently discovered how to have an internal and external orgasm at the same time. It required a lot of lube, and a few different kinds of toys. This one right here, in particular.” I brought out the G-spot stimulator toy and showed it off like I was Vanna White. “It was really incredible! Have any of you ever experienced this?”
A mix of excited responses came out of the ladies gathered around me. Lucy asked to see the toy, and examined it like it was a prized artifact from an archeological dig, gently and with great reverence.
“I’ll take it!” she said. She was a great customer!
“I am not forcing any purchase on anyone but if anyone does want to buy any of our toys tonight I can give you thirty percent off! And you can have thirty minutes in one of our ROOMZ for free.” I probably wasn’t authorized to do this kind of thing but I did it anyway. If this brought in some new repeat customers, it was worth it. If Sandy wasn’t answering my calls, she obviously trusted me to make these kinds of decisions, right?
The four women all talked over each other about their clits, their cervixes, their husbands, their vibrators. Even though we were blatantly causing a fire hazard in the middle of a fully functioning store, in our minds we were in our own special locker room.
Then the quiet one, Maya, spoke. I could see her mouth moving but I couldn’t hear words coming out of her mouth.
“Shhh!” I said to the crowd.
“Did you want to say something?” I asked her.
“I’m a, well, I’m a virgin. I’ve never had an orgasm. I’ve masturbated a few times but I honestly don’t know what to do.” She looked down at the floor and bit her lip. There was an awkward silence.
“What should I do?” she asked.
This was great! Well, it’s not great that she is lost and has no idea how to masturbate. But this was the exact reason I wanted to have the class. Now what do I do? She didn’t know what to do and I didn’t know what to do. At that moment, we were both lost.
“You’re so young! It’s okay, you still have time to learn about yourself,” Lucy said.
“I’ve been masturbating every day since I was in middle school. I just kind of did what felt right,” said Krissy. “I think it’s hot when girls are shy. I would love to put my hands all over you and help you masturbate!”
Somehow this girl in her mid-twenties knew more about sex than all of us. The other women laughed, and Maya blushed.
“There’s a lot of toys here that I know can help you, but I really think at first you need to just take your fingers, and really explore yourself. Maybe use some lube, if you’re nervous and having a hard time working up your own moisture, it can really help. It will feel weird at first but just push through and keep going. Once you work past that awkwardness it will feel amazing!” I was repeating to her exactly what I just did a mere few weeks ago, but truly made it feel as though I was a seasoned, masturbating professional. The words naturally came out of me and I believed them as I said them.
“But… that can’t be all there is to it, just exploring! What if I don’t like anything? What if I can’t have an orgasm? What if my… you know… is weird looking? Am I supposed to, like, shave the hair down there? Is it necessary? What do you all do about it?” Maya asked, unloading what seemed to be a good portion of her sexual frustration onto a crowd of strangers.
“I love the feeling of my pussy after I get a nice wax! It’s so smooth!” Raylin said.
“Ouch! Doesn’t waxing hurt? I just shave the sides. I don’t mind if it hangs out a little bit!” said Lucy, tentatively looking down at her pussy.
“Well your hair is blonde, that’s why you don’t mind!” Kira replied. She and Raylin both laughed. “I used to shave it all and a few years ago I stopped. I am bringing the ’70s bush back whether my husband likes it or not!” She pulled down her sweatpants and showed a tuft of pubic hair sticking out and the other women (except Maya, who stared at the older lady’s hair with a mix of horror and fascination) laughed, gave each other high fives, and applauded.
“What kind of noises do you guys make? Are you supposed to be, like, loud? Or quiet? Is this something I should do when my roommates aren’t home? Or does it not matter?” Maya said.
At the exact same moment Kira said, “I’m totally silent!” while Raylin said, “I’m loud as fuck!” right on top of each other. They both laughed.
“I live in a big, open loft and my roommates were always angry at me for masturbating too loud. So I do it in the car, when I drive. In fact, I did it on the way over!” Krissy said.
“Please, don’t masturbate and drive, Maya!” I said. “You don’t have to be loud! If it makes you feel good to yell then yell, but if it doesn’t make you comfortable you don’t have to. Lots of women have very intense, quiet orgasms.”
“Does it make a mess?” Maya said. “Do I need to like change my sheets when I finish?”
“Sometimes I get messy! But I sleep inside the wetness, I don’t care,” Krissy said.
Everyone laughed.
“It’s not always like that, honey. I’ve rubbed one out at my desk at work without anyone noticing. No mess there! But, I always have an extra pair of panties on hand just in case!” said Lucy.
“Every woman has different amounts of moisture in their vaginas, and it varies depending on what part of your cycle you’re in,” I said. I had no actual facts to back that up, but it sure sounded right. I made a mental note to look that up later.
I noticed Maya was subconsciously rubbing her inner thigh as everyone spoke. I don’t think she even knew what she was doing but her body did. This girl’s pussy was aching to cum, but all she could think about was changing her damn sheets.
“What do you guys think about when you’re doing it?” Maya asked.
“Oh, anything! Sometimes I daydream about the time I got gangbanged in the bathroom of a nightclub by five different DJs, and sometimes I just think about someone kissing me on the beach really passionately. And sometimes, it’s about someone in a big furry panda suit.” As Krissy spoke she stuck her hands down her pants and got entranced in a moment. And for the first time in my life I really wanted to be a DJ, and a panda.
“Ryan Gosling,” Raylin and Kira said at the same time.
“Just go watch The Notebook and your pussy will know exactly what to do,” Kira continued. Everyone laughed.
“There’s no right or wrong thing to think about! The most important thing for you to do is relax and see where your mind takes you,” I said. I always hated when people would try to tell me to relax. That’s a trigger word for me, and here I am saying it to someone else. I hope it worked. Suddenly I heard, “Man, I Feel Like a Woman” by Shania Twain blaring loudly. It was coming from Raylin’s large left breast. She pulled a giant cell phone out of her bra, and the song continued to play through its speaker. She looked at the name on the caller ID and her expression immediately changed. It certainly wasn’t Ryan Gosling calling.
“Hello?” Raylin said into the phone; she went from angry to concerned, and then told the person on the other end she would come right home. I couldn’t really get what was going on but it sounded like some kind of snafu with a babysitter.
“I’m sorry ladies, we gotta go!” Raylin said.
“We?” Kira asked.
“Yes! You’re my ride!” Raylin said. Kira huffed and puffed and then agreed to take her home.
“That sucks! I’m sorry! Well I’m here four nights a week—did you want to buy anything before you left? I can give you 50% off anything in the store as a thank you for coming in.”