“Did he?”
His throat burning, Kavik shook his head. “She had been heavy with child—with me. I was all that Barin returned to him. Then he let us go.”
“Because it amused him,” Mala said flatly.
“It did.”
“Where did you go?”
“The Weeping Forest. Not as I live there now. There was an inn at the edge of the forest. My father still had gold, a few servants. But Barin had taken most of his fingers and he couldn’t hold a sword. So I held it for him the first time I returned to the citadel.”
Jaw clenched, she looked ahead again, but held her tongue. He knew what she would say. His father must have been mad. Kavik had only seen eight winters then.
“He was mad,” Kavik said softly. “But the hope of freeing Blackmoor from Barin’s reign was all that he had. And I knew nothing else. Nothing but trying to discover a way to kill him.”
“Until your fourteenth winter, you said. What happened then?”
“We tried an ivory blade under a full moon. It failed, but before we left, Barin decided that would be my moon night. My father died trying to stop them from putting the collar on me. His heart gave out. And I left Blackmoor to earn gold for my army.”
Eyes glistening, she looked away from him again. Kavik had no tears left for his father, or for the boy he had been. All that remained was the icy ache in his chest.
Her throat worked before she spoke. “I vow to you that it will never be a collar,” she said, and the hoarse catch in her breath scraped over his heart. “And Vela will not ask it of me.”
“I pissed in her temple.”
Mala’s shocked gaze flew to meet his. “You did what?”
“I pissed in her offering bowl. Do you think Vela would put me on my knees in front of Barin for it?”
The goddess possessed cruelty enough to punish him that way. Mala knew it. Uncertainty flashed over her face.
His throat seemed full of grit. “If you will not have me in a collar, take off the robe. Abandon your quest.”
“I cannot.” Breath shuddering, she shook her head. “And the taming will not be that. I have to believe it won’t be. I know you don’t trust her. But trust in me, warrior. Please.”
He couldn’t answer. Nudging his mount’s sides, he rode ahead. But as soon as he dismounted, she came to stand before him. Rising onto her toes, she captured his face between her hands, her gaze fixed on his lips.
He caught her hair. “Down.”
“Kavik—”
“Now,” he said. “I have no need for your mouth except on my cock.”
Fire lit behind her eyes. Holding his gaze, she slid down. His shaft hadn’t been hard when he’d given the command, but the touch of her fingers started a brutal ache in his flesh. She raised his stiffening length to her lips.
And kissed him, so gently. Kavik froze. Again, a reverent press of her mouth. Releasing her hair, he ripped himself away from her touch. His chest was heaving, each breath tearing raggedly from his lungs.
Still on her knees, she looked up at him. Her dark eyes were haunted. “Do you have no need for any part of me, warrior?”
He could not stop his harsh laugh. She was everything he needed. All of her.
But he turned away from her. “Not if I can’t fuck it. I’ll wait for your moon night.”
And wait for his end.
IT was three days’ hard journey back to Perca. Mala wasn’t surprised when Kavik retreated into silence again. He didn’t share her bed. Instead she was left alone with her thoughts and the growing ache of the distance between them.
Mala had known this quest would be painful. But she’d thought it would be her body that suffered, not her heart.
But the pain made her hopeful that she was on the right path. If this had been easy, it wouldn’t be a quest, and she could think of few more difficult tasks than winning Kavik’s trust—which made her wonder if the answer to his taming had lain before her almost from the very beginning. She had befriended another beast who hadn’t been easy to win over. And although she didn’t consider Shim tamed, many others would. Just as some thought a collar meant its wearer was tamed, and Mala called it cruelty, instead.
It only mattered what Vela intended the taming to mean. If Mala was right, then she only had to be patient. She had to be stubborn. And she had to remember Kavik’s anguish as he’d charged into the water to save her. She had to remember his tenderness as he’d kissed her.
He hadn’t covered his heart in iron to hurt her, but to protect himself. She’d seen his pain after she’d refused to abandon her quest, and knew that he expected more agony to come. If it did, the agony would not come from her hand, and she would help him fight its cause. Though he could be hard, and the distance between them painful, Mala trusted that he wouldn’t deliberately hurt her; she could wait until he trusted her in return.
And she hoped the single night remaining before the full moon passed quickly. Though Kavik had been quiet these past days, his ravenous hunger for her still burned in his shadowed gaze. Taking him would not be easy, either. But she didn’t care if he was rough, or tried to persuade himself that he hadn’t softened toward her. Mala would find her pleasure in every merciless touch, in each brutal thrust.
She was just as hungry as he was.
Until the full moon came, however, she suspected that her only need to be sated would be her thirst. The sun had been warm, their ale had run dry two days before, and watered mead never satisfied as well. She was glad to see the Croaking Frog’s familiar banner with its lucky lily pad. Dally birds squawked in the stable yard behind the inn, bald pink heads bobbing, and their scraggly gray and white feathers floating everywhere. The ugliest birds that Temra had ever created—but also the most delicious.
As soon as she removed Shim’s saddle, the stallion trotted into the yard and began to snort at the swirling feathers. She glanced over to find that Kavik was already seeing to the packhorses. The furs he’d worn over his shoulders had been shed days before, leaving his steely arms bare. Her bottom lip between her teeth, she watched the sinews flex in his strong forearms as his long fingers tugged at the leather ties.
Without looking up, he said gruffly, “Will you go and see if there’s a private bed available for us?”
Swift joy rose through her. “Will we be sharing it tonight, then?”
“We will.” He came nearer, his gaze hot on hers. “And add this.”
He pressed a thin gold coin into her palm. She glanced up curiously.
Kavik turned to the horses again. “Ask Selaq to join us in the bed tonight.”
Did he think his fingers and tongue weren’t enough? Mala grinned at his back. “I prefer your touch, warrior. Not hers.”
“I want her there for me.”
Her brows rose. “Do you not realize she prefers women?”
Easily he lifted the heavy grain baskets balanced over the animal’s withers. “But she will lie with men for extra coin. I’m desperate for your sheath, but there’s no need to wait. I can fuck another tonight.”
No, he could not. “Why would you say this to me, warrior?”
“Because one sheath is the same as any other.”
The edges of the coin bit into her fingers. “I told you that I would not share you after I had you.”
“I’ve not had you yet. That is why my cock aches for waiting.” His gaze was shuttered when he looked up. “And that is why I will have another tonight.”
“Do you believe that we’ve not already had each other just because my moon night hasn’t come? We’ve had each other over and over these past days, warrior. We had each other when you kissed me. When you rode by my side. When you slept by me and held me close.” She didn’t mistake the sharp agony in his gaze before he looked away. “Do you intend to hurt me or are you simply being a stubborn fool? Because I promise you, this will injure me.”