"I will do my best, Dr. Blaustein."
For two months, Ralson lived in a comer of Grant's office, and Grant lived with him. Gridwork had been built up before the windows, wooden furniture was removed and upholstered sofas brought in. Ralson did his thinking on the couch and his calculating on a desk pad atop a hassock.
The "Do Not Enter" was a permanent fixture outside the office. Meals were left outside. The adjoining men's room was marked off for private use and the door between it and the office removed. Grant switched to an electric razor. He made certain that Ralson took sleeping pills each night and waited till the other slept before sleeping himself.
And always reports were brought to Ralson. He read them while Grant watched and tried to seem not to watch.
Then Ralson would let them drop and stare at the ceiling, with one hand shading his eyes.
"Anything?" asked Grant.
Ralson shook his head from side to side.
Grant said, "Look, I'll clear the building during the swing shift. It's important that you see some of the experimental jigs we've been setting up."
They did so, wandering through the lighted, empty buildings like drifting ghosts, hand in hand. Always hand in hand. Grant's grip was tight. But after each trip, Ralson would still shake his head from side to side.
Half a dozen times he would begin writing; each time there would be a few scrawls and then he would kick the hassock over on its side.
Until, finally, he began writing once again and covered half a page rapidly. Automatically, Grant approached. Ralson looked up, covering the sheet of paper with a trembling hand.
He said, "Call Blaustein."
"What?"
"I said, 'Call Blaustein.' Get him here. Now!" Grant moved to the telephone.
Ralson was writing rapidly now, stopping only to brush wildly at his forehead with the back of a hand. It came away wet.
He looked up and his voice was cracked, "Is he coming?"
Grant looked worried. "He isn't at his office."
"Get him at his home. Get him wherever he is. Use that telephone. Don't play with it."
Grant used it; and Ralson pulled another sheet toward himself.
Five minutes later, Grant said, "He's coming. What's wrong? You're looking sick."
Ralson could speak only thickly, "No time-Can't talk-"
He was writing, scribbling, scrawling, shakily diagramming. It was as though he were driving his hands, fighting it.
"Dictate!" urged Grant. "I'll write."
Ralson shook him off. His words were unintelligible. He held his wrist with his other hand, shoving it as though it were a piece of wood, and then he collapsed over the papers.
Grant edged them out from under and laid Ralson down on the couch. He hovered over him restlessly and hopelessly until Blaustein arrived.
Blaustein took one look. "What happened?"
Grant said, "I think he's alive," but by that time Blaustein had verified that for himself, and Grant told him what had happened.
Blaustein used a hypodermic and they waited. Ralson's eyes were blank when they opened. He moaned.
Blaustein leaned close. "Ralson."
Ralson's hands reached out blindly and clutched at the psychiatrist. "Doc. Take me back."
"I will. Now. It is that you have the force field worked out, no?"
"It's on the papers. Grant, it's on the papers."
Grant had them and was leafing through them dubiously. Ralson said, weakly, "It's not all there. It's all I can write. You'll have to make it out of that. Take me back, Doc!"
"Wait," said Grant. He whispered urgently to Blaustein. "Can't you leave him here till we test this thing? I can't make out what most of this is. The writing is illegible. Ask him what makes him think this will work."
"Ask him?" said Blaustein, gentry. "Isn't he the one who always knows?"
"Ask me, anyway," said Ralson, overhearing from where he lay on the couch. His eyes were suddenly wide and blazing.
They turned to him.
He said, "They don't want a force field. They! The experimenters! As long as I had no true grasp, things remained as they were. But I hadn't followed up that thought-that thought which is there in the papers-I hadn't followed it up for thirty seconds before I felt… I felt-Doctor-"
Blaustein said, "What is it?"
Ralson was whispering again, "I'm deeper in the penicillin. I could feel myself plunging in and in, the further I went with that. I've never been in… so deep. That's how I knew I was right. Take me away."
Blaustein straightened. "I'll have to take him away, Grant. There's no alternative. If you can make out what he's written, that's it. If you can't make it out, I can't help you. That man can do no more work in his field without dying, do you understand?"
"But," said Grant, "he's dying of something imaginary."
"All right. Say that he is. But he will be really dead just the same, no?"
Ralson was unconscious again and heard nothing of this. Grant looked at him somberly, then said, "Well, take him away, then."
Ten of the top men at the Institute watched glumly as slide after slide filled the illuminated screen. Grant faced them, expression hard and frowning.
He said, "I think the idea is simple enough. You're mathematicians and you're engineers. The scrawl may seem illegible, but it was done with meaning behind it. That meaning must somehow remain in the writing, distorted though it is. The first page is clear enough. It should be a good lead. Each one of you will look at every page over and over again. You're going to put down every possible version of each page as it seems it might be. You will work independently. I want no consultations."
One of them said, "How do you know it means anything, Grant?"
"Because those are Ralson's notes."
"Ralson! I thought he was-"
"You thought he was sick," said Grant. He had to shout over the rising hum of conversation. "I know. He is. That's the writing of a man who was nearly dead. It's all we'll ever get from Ralson, any more. Somewhere in that scrawl is the answer to the force field problem. If we can't find it, we may have to spend ten years looking for it elsewhere."
They bent to their work. The night passed. Two nights passed. Three nights- Grant looked at the results. He shook his head. "I'll take your word for it that it is all self-consistent. I can't say I understand it."
Lowe, who, in the absence of Ralson, would readily have been rated the best nuclear engineer at the Institute, shrugged. "It's not exactly clear to me. If it works, he hasn't explained why."
"He had no time to explain. Can you build the generator as he describes it?"
"I could try."
"Would you look at all the other versions of the pages?"
"The others are definitely not self-consistent."
"Would you double-check?"
"Sure."
"And could you start construction anyway?"
"I'll get the shop started. But I tell you frankly that I'm pessimistic."
"I know. So am I."
The thing grew. Hal Ross, Senior Mechanic, was put in charge of the actual construction, and he stopped sleeping. At any hour of the day or night, he could be found at it, scratching his bald head.
He asked questions only once, "What is it, Dr. Lowe? Never saw anything like it? What's it supposed to do?"
Lowe said, "You know where you are, Ross. You know we don't ask questions here. Don't ask again."
Ross did not ask again. He was known to dislike the structure that was being built. He called it ugly and unnatural. But he stayed at it.
Blaustein called one day.
Grant said, "How's Ralson?"
"Not good. He wants to attend the testing of the Field Projector he designed."
Grant hesitated, "I suppose we should. It's his after all."
"I would have to come with him."
Grant looked unhappier. "It might be dangerous, you know. Even in a pilot test, we'd be playing with tremendous energies."