The phone rang again.
"Just a second," Arthur Lewis said.
Another grin. A producer this time. A series about a college sorority next to a fraternity, Crazy 4 U, had just become this season's new hit. Arthur Lewis was giving its cast and executives a party at Le Dome tomorrow evening. Yes, he guaranteed. Ten cases of Dom Perignon would arrive at the producer's home before the party. And beluga caviar? Enough for an after-party power party? No problem. And yes, Arthur Lewis was having the same frustrations as the producer. It was mighty damned hard to find a pre-school for gifted children.
He set down the phone. His face turned to stone. "So that's your idea?"
"Drama, significance, emotion, action, and realism."
"But what's the hook?"
I shook my head in astonishment.
"Why would anyone want to watch it?" Arthur Lewis asked.
"To feel what it's like to help kids in trouble, to understand those kids."
"Didn't you have a stroke a while ago?"
"What?"
"I believe in honesty, so I'll be direct. You put in your time. You paid your dues. So why don't you back away gracefully?"
"I didn't have a stroke."
"Then why did I hear-?"
"My wife had cancer. She died…" I caught my breath. "Six months ago."
"I see. I'm sorry. I mean that sincerely. But television isn't the same as when you created…" He checked my list of credits." The Sidewalks of New York. A definite classic. One of my absolute personal favorites. But times have changed. The industry's a lot more competitive. The pressure's unbelievable. A series creator has to act as one of the producers, to oversee the product, to guarantee consistency. I'm talking thirteen hours a day minimum, and ideally the creator ought to contribute something to every script."
"That's what I did on The Sidewalks of New York."
"Oh?" Arthur Lewis looked blank. "I guess I didn't notice that in your credits." He straightened. "But my point's the same. Television's a pressure cooker. A game for people with energy."
"Did I need a wheelchair when I came in here?"
"You've lost me."
"Energy's not my problem. I'm full to bursting with the need to work. What matters is, what do you think of my idea?"
"It's…"
The phone rang.
Arthur Lewis looked relieved. "Let me get back to you."
"Of course. I know you're busy. Thanks for your time."
"Hey, anytime. I'm always here and ready for new ideas." Again he checked his Rolex.
The phone kept ringing.
"Take care," he said.
"You, too."
I took my list of credits off his desk.
The last thing I heard when I left was, "No, that old fuck's wrong for the part. He's losing his hair. A rug? Get real. The audience can tell the difference. For God's sake, a hairpiece is death in the ratings."
Steve had said to phone him when the meeting was over. But I felt so upset I decided to hell with phoning him and drove up the Pacific Coast Highway toward his place in Malibu. Traffic was terrible – rush hour, Friday evening. For once, though, it had an advantage. After an hour, my anger began to abate enough for me to realize that I wouldn't accomplish much by showing up unexpectedly in a fit at Steve's. He'd been loyal. He didn't need my aggravation. As he'd told me, "I've done what I can. Now it's up to you." But there wasn't much I could do if my age and not my talent was how I was judged. Certainly that wasn't Steve's fault.
So I stopped at something called the Pacific Coast Diner and took the advice of a bumper sticker on a car I'd been stuck behind-CHILL OUT. Maybe a few drinks and a meditative dinner would calm me down. The restaurant had umbrella-topped tables on a balcony that looked toward the ocean. I had to wait a half hour, but a Scotch and soda made the time go quickly, and the crimson reflection of the setting sun on the ocean was spectacular.
Or would have been if I'd been paying attention. The truth was, I couldn't stop being upset. I had another Scotch and soda, ordered poached salmon, tried to enjoy my meal, and suddenly couldn't swallow, suddenly felt about as lonely as I'd felt since Doris had died. Maybe the network executives are right, I thought. Maybe I am too old. Maybe I don't know how to relate to a young audience. Maybe it's time I packed it in.
"Mort Davidson," a voice said.
"Excuse me?" I blinked, distracted from my thoughts.
My waiter was holding the credit card I'd given him. "Mort Davidson." He looked at the name on the card, then at me. "The screenwriter?"
I spared him a bitter "used to be" and nodded with what I hoped was a pleasant manner.
"Wow." He was tall and thin with sandy hair and a glowing tan. His blue eyes glinted. He had the sort of chiseled, handsome face that made me think he was yet another would-be actor. He looked to be about twenty-three. "When I saw your name, I thought, 'No, it couldn't be. Who knows how many Mort Davidsons there are? The odds against this being…' But it is you. The screenwriter."
"Guilty," I managed to joke.
"I bet I've seen everything you ever wrote. I must have watched The Dead of Noon twenty-five times. I really learned a lot."
"Oh?" I was puzzled. What would my screenplay have taught him about acting?
"About structure. About pace. About not being afraid to let the characters talk. That's what's wrong with movies today. The characters don't have anything important to say."
At once, it hit me. He wasn't a would-be actor.
"I'm a writer," he said. "Or trying to be. I mean, I've still got a lot to learn. That I'm working here proves it." The glint went out of his eyes. "I still haven't sold anything." His enthusiasm was forced. "But hey, nothing important is easy. I'll just keep writing until I crack the market. The boss is…I'd better not keep chattering at you. He doesn't like it. For sure, you've got better things to do than listen to me. I just wanted to say how much I like your work, Mr. Davidson. I'll bring your credit card right back. It's a pleasure to meet you."
As he left, it struck me that the speed with which he talked suggested not only energy but insecurity. For all his good looks, he felt like a loser.
Or maybe I was just transferring my own emotions onto him. This much was definite – getting a compliment was a hell of a lot better than a sharp stick in the eye or the meeting I'd endured.
When he came back with my credit card, I signed the bill and gave him a generous tip.
"Thanks, Mr. Davidson."
"Hang in there. You've got one important thing on your side."
"What's that?"
"You're young. You've got plenty of time to make it."
"Unless…"
I wondered what he meant.
"Unless I don't have what it takes."
"Well, the best advice I can give you is never doubt yourself."
As I left the restaurant and passed beneath hissing arc lamps toward my car, I couldn't ignore the irony. The waiter had youth but doubted his ability. I had confidence in my ability but was penalized because of my age. Despite the roar of traffic on the Pacific Coast Highway, I heard waves on the beach.