In one swift movement he dashed across to shield Svetlana and Egor from me. As if that could stop the spell. There was nothing that could stop it now.
A ray of light that human beings couldn't see shot out of my open hands. It was the scraps that I'd gathered so mercilessly from all those people. The scarlet flame of roses, the pale-pink of peonies, the yellow glow of asters, white daisies, and almost black orchids.
Zabulon laughed quietly behind my back.
Svetlana stood there, holding the chalk poised over the Book of Destiny.
Egor was frozen in front of her, with his arms flung out.
Pieces on a chess board. The Power was in my hands. I'd never had so much Power. It was overflowing; I could direct it at absolutely anyone.
I smiled at Svetlana. And very slowly raised my palms with their fountain of rainbow light toward my own face.
«No!»
Zabulon's howl didn't cut through the roar of the hurricane; it completely drowned it. A bolt of lightning flashed through the sky. The leader of the Dark Ones rushed toward me, but Gesar stepped out to meet him, and the Dark Magician stopped. I didn't really see all this, I felt it. My face was enveloped in the shimmering colors. My head was spinning. I couldn't feel the wind anymore.
There was nothing left except a rainbow, a never-ending rainbow, and I was drowning in it.
The wind raged all around me without touching me. I looked at Sveta and heard the invisible wall that had always separated us breaking down. Breaking down and forming a protective barrier around us. Her fluttering hair settled gently around her face.
«Did you use it all on yourself?»
«Yes,» I said.
«Everything you collected?»
She still couldn't believe it. Svetlana knew what the price for borrowed Power was.
«Every last drop!» I answered. I had an incredibly light feeling.
«Why?» The sorceress held out her hand toward me. «Why, Anton? When you could have stopped this storm? You could have brought happiness to thousands of people. How could you use it all on yourself?»
«In order to avoid making a mistake,» I explained. I felt slightly embarrassed that a Great Sorceress like her didn't understand such a minor detail.
Svetlana said nothing for a moment. Then she glanced at the piece of chalk glowing in her hand.
«What should I do, Anton?»
«You've already opened the Book of Destiny.»
«Anton! Who's right? Gesar or you?»
I shook my head.
«You decide for yourself.»
Svetlana frowned.
«Anton, is that all? Why did you take so much Light from others? What have you wasted your second-level magic on?»
«Listen to me,» I said, not sure how much conviction there was in my voice. Even now I wasn't entirely convinced myself. «Sometimes the most important thing isn't to do something. Sometimes it's more important to not do anything. Some things you have to decide for yourself, without any advice. From me, or Gesar, or Zabulon, or the Light or the Darkness. All on your own.»
She shook her head.
«No!»
«Yes. You must decide for yourself. And nobody can relieve you of that responsibility. And whatever you do, you'll always regret what you didn't do.»
«Anton, I love you!»
«I know. And I love you. That's why I won't say anything.»
«And you call that love?»
«There isn't any other kind.»
«I need your advice!» she shouted. «Anton, I need your advice!»
«We all create our own destinies,» I said. It was a little bit more than I ought to have said. «Decide.»
The piece of chalk in her hand flared up in a slim needle of fire as she turned back to the Book of Destiny. She swept her hand through the air, and I heard the pages rustling under the blinding eraser.
Light and Darkness are only spots on the pages of destiny. A flourish of the hand. A rapid stroke.
Words of fire streaming across the page.
Svetlana opened her fingers and the chalk of Destiny fell at her feet. As heavily as if it were a lead bullet. The hurricane tumbled it across the roof, but I managed to bend down and put my hand over it.
The Book of Destiny started to dissolve.
Egor staggered, doubled over, and fell on his side, with his knees pulled up to his chest, curled up into a pitiful little bundle.
The white circle around them had been washed away by the rain, and I could walk over to them now. I squatted down and took hold of the boy's shoulders.
«You didn't write anything!» Gesar shouted. «Svetlana, you only erased things!»
The sorceress shrugged. She looked down at me. The rain had already broken through the fading barrier and soaked the white dress, transforming it into transparent muslin that no longer concealed the forms of her body. A moment earlier Svetlana had been a priestess in white robes, and now she was a young woman soaked to the skin, standing in the eye of a storm with her arms held helplessly at her sides.
«That was your test,» Gesar said to her in a quiet voice. «You've missed your chance.»
«Light One Gesar, I do not wish to serve in the Watch,» the young woman replied. «I'm sorry, Light One Gesar, but it's not my path. Not my destiny.»
Gesar shook his head sadly. Zabulon came across to us with a few quick steps.
«Is that it?» the Dark Magician asked. He looked at me, at Sveta, at Egor. «Didn't you do anything?» He looked at the Inquisitor, who raised his head and nodded.
Nobody else answered him.
A crooked smile spread across Zabulon's face.
«All that effort, and it's all ended in a farce. And all because a hysterical girl didn't want to leave her indecisive lover. Anton, I'm disappointed in you. Svetlana, I'm delighted with you. Gesar»—the Dark Magician looked at the boss—«my congratulations on having such remarkable people on your staff.»
A portal opened behind Zabulon's back. He laughed quietly as he stepped into the black cloud.
I heard a heavy sigh rising up from the ground. Although I couldn't see, I knew what was happening. One after another the members of the Day Watch were emerging from the Twilight and dashing to their cars to move them as far away as possible from the trees. Or hunching over and running to the nearest buildings.
After them the Light Magicians abandoned the cordon. Some for the same simple, human reasons. But I knew that most of them stayed where they were, looking up at the roof of the building. Tiger Cub, wearing a guilty expression just in case. Semyon, with the gloomy smile of an Other who'd seen worse storms than this one. Ignat with his eternal expression of sincere sympathy.
«I couldn't do it,» said Svetlana. «I'm sorry, Gesar. I couldn't.»
«You never could have,» I said. «And you were never meant to.»
I opened my hand and looked at the little piece of chalk, which while I held it was no more than that—a wet, sticky piece of chalk. Pointed at one end. Broken off unevenly at the other.
«How long ago did you realize?» asked Gesar. He came across and sat down beside me. His shield extended to cover us, and the roar of the hurricane faded away.
«Only just now.»
«What's going on?» exclaimed Svetlana. «Anton, tell me what's going on.»
Gesar answered her.
«Everyone has his or her own destiny, my girl. For some it means changing other people's lives and destroying empires. For others it simply means getting on with life.»
«While the Day Watch was waiting for you to act,» I explained, «Olga took the other half of the chalk and rewrote someone else's destiny. The way the Light wanted it to be.»
Gesar sighed. He reached out and touched Egor. The boy stirred and tried to get up.
«No rush, no rush,» the boss said gently. «It's all over now, or almost.»
I put my arm round the boy's shoulders and rested his head on my knees. He calmed down again.
«Why all this?» I asked. «If you knew in advance what would happen?»
«Even I can't know everything.»
«But why all this?»
«Because everything had to look natural,» Gesar said, slightly annoyed. «That was the only way Zabulon would believe what was happening. He had to believe in our plans, and believe that we failed.»
«That's not the full answer, Gesar,» I said, looking into his eyes. «It's not even close!»
The boss sighed.
«All right. Yes, I could have done things differently. Svetlana would have become a Great Sorceress. Against her own wishes. And Egor would have become our instrument, despite the fact that the Watch was already in his debt.»
I waited. I was very interested to see if Gesar would tell the whole truth. Just once.
«Yes, I could have done it that way,» said Gesar, and he sighed again. «But you know, my boy… Everything that I've done in the twentieth century, apart from the great struggle between the Light and the Darkness, has been dedicated to a single purpose that, naturally, brought no harm to our cause…«
I suddenly felt sorry for him. Incredibly sorry. Perhaps for the first time in a thousand years the Great Magician, the Most Light Gesar, destroyer of monsters and guardian of states, had been forced to tell the entire truth. Not the beautiful and exalted truth that he was used to telling.
«Don't, don't. I know!» I shouted.
But the Great Magician shook his head.
«Everything I've done was dedicated to that purpose. To force the top levels to repeal Olga's punishment completely. To force them to restore her powers and allow her to pick up the chalk of Destiny once again. She had to become my equal. Otherwise our love was doomed. And I love her, Anton.»
Svetlana laughed. Very, very quietly. I thought she was going to slap the boss's face, but I suppose I still didn't understand her completely yet. Svetlana went down on her knees in front of Gesar and kissed his right hand.
The magician trembled. He seemed for a moment to have lost his infinite powers: The protective dome began shuddering and dissolving. Once again we were deafened by the roar of the hurricane.
«Are we going to change the destiny of the world again?» I asked. «Apart from our own little personal concerns?»
He nodded and asked in return:
«Why, don't you like the idea?»
«No.»
«Well, Anton, you can't always be a winner. I haven't been, and you won't be either.»
«I know that,» I said. «Of course I know it, Gesar. But still, it would be nice.»
January-August 1998
Moscow