Nightwork

'You surprised me, all right.'

'Aren't you pleased?'

'No,' I said. 'Definitely not.'

'When you get used to the idea,' she said, "maybe you'll change your mind.'

'Please, Didi...'

'If you're worried because you think I'm a virgin,' she said loftily, 'you can disabuse yourself. I've already had an affair with a man a lot older than you. A lecherous old Greek.'

'I don't want any fancy talk,' I said. "I want you to get up off that bed and get dressed and get out of here and go climb back through that window of yours.'

'I 'know you don't really mean that,' she said calmly. 'You're just making proper noises because you knew me when I was thirteen years old. I'm not thirteen years old anymore.'

‘I know how old you are,' I said, 'and it isn't enough.' 'Nothing bores me more than having people make-believe I'm a child.' Aside from the gesture to push back her hair, she still hadn't moved on the bed, 'What's the magic date for you? Twenty, eighteen?'

'There is no magic date, as you call it.' I heard my voice go higher and higher with exasperation and sat down across the room from her to retain my dignity and show that I was prepared to be reasonable. 'I'm just not in the habit of going to bed with girls of any age after talking to them for ten minutes.'

'And I thought you were sophisticated.' She put as much scorn into the word as she could manage. 'With those fancy ladies and that Jaguar.'

'Okay,' I said, 'I'm not sophisticated. Now will you get up and get dressed?'

'Don't you think I'm pretty? People have told me my body is delectable. Connoisseurs.'

'I think you're very pretty. Delectable, if you like. That has nothing to do with it.'

'Half the boys in town are trying to get me in bed with them. And plenty of men, if you want the truth.'

'I'm sure, Didi. It still has nothing to do with it.'

'You talked to me for a lot more than ten minutes, so that's no excuse. We had a long conversation on Suicide Six. I remember, even if you don't.'

'This is a ridiculous scene,' I said, as firmly and maturely as I could. 'I'm ashamed for both of us.'

'There's nothing ridiculous about love.'

'Love, Didi I ' I exploded.

'I was in love with you three years ago...' Her voice began to quaver and tears, real or forced, appeared in her eyes, glistening in the lamplight. 'And then when I saw you again. I suppose you think you're too old and too worn out to believe in love?'

'I'm nothing of the kind.' I decided to try cruelty. 'I just happen to have a certain code. And it doesn't include fornication with silly little girls who throw themselves at my head.'

'That's an ugly word for a beautiful emotion.' Now she was frankly crying. 'I didn't think you were capable of talking like that.'

'I'm capable of feeling angry,' I said loudly, 'and feeling foolish. And I feel both this minute.'

'It would serve you right,' she said, through sobs, 'if I started yelling at the top of my voice and got the whole hotel in here and told everybody you tried to rape me.'

'Don't be monstrous, young lady.' I stood up now to threaten her. 'Just for your information, when I came into the room I was with a friend...'

'A friend,' she said. 'Hah ! One of those old bags.'

'No matter. If you try anything, she'll tell everybody what she saw when she came into the room - you sleeping naked on the bed. That would fix you and your rape. You'd have to leave town in disgrace.'

'I want to leave this miserable town anyway. And disgrace is something you feel yourself, and I wouldn't feel it.'

I tried another tack. 'Didi, Baby...'

'Don't call me Baby. I m not a baby.'

'Okay, I won't call you Baby.' I smiled gently at her. 'Didi, don't you want me to be your friend?'

'No I want you to be my lover. Everybody else gets what they want,' she wailed. 'Why can't I?'

I handed her my handkerchief to wipe away her tears. She also blew her nose. I was glad that there was an automatic lock on the door so that nobody could come into the room and see us. I refrained from telling her that when she reached my age she would find everybody didn't get what they wanted. Not by a long shot.

'You kissed me on the hill today, when we got off the lift,' she cried. 'What did you do that for it you didn't mean it?'

There are kisses and kisses,' I said. ‘I apologize if you misunderstood.'

Suddenly she threw the coat off her and sat up in the bed. She put out her arms. 'Try it once more,' she said.

I took a step back. involuntarily. 'I'm leaving,' I said, as convincingly as I could. 'If you're still here when I get back, I'm going to call your school to come and get you.'

She laughed. 'Coward,' she taunted me, 'coward, coward.'

In full possession of the field, she was still repeating the word when I got out of the door.

* * *

I went down to the bar. I needed a drink. Luckily, there was no one I knew there and I sat on a stool in the dim light, staring into my glass. I had thought I could live by accident, taking everything that was offered as it came along - the long tube on the floor of room 602; Evelyn Coates in Washington; Lily in Florence; the outlandish proposition of that not quite certifiably sane man. Miles Fabian, slightly bloodied from where I had broken the lamp over his head; buying a racehorse; investing in a dirty French movie; dabbling in gold and soybeans; saying, 'Why not? ' When Fabian had suggested inviting an unknown British girl to join us; venturing into Swiss real estate; backing him for half, even as I sat there, in a head-to-head poker game against a rich and vengeful American gambler.

But there were limits. And Didi Wales had reached them. I told myself I had behaved honorably - no decent man would take advantage of the freakish, adolescent passion of an unhappy child. But I was nagged, in the quiet of the midnight bar, by a small, disturbing doubt. If Eunice hadn't gone into the room with me to discover Didi lying there, would I be in the bar now? Or still in my room? In retrospect, sitting alone staring into a glass, I had to admit that the girl had been marvelously attractive. Regret played in a little scudding cloud at the outer reaches of my conscience. What would Miles Fabian have done, confronted with a similar situation? Chuckled good-naturedly, said, 'What a charming visit'? Thought, this is my lucky year, and climbed into bed? No doubt.

I resolved not to tell him a word about it. His scorn, tempered only by pity for my scruples, would be unbearable. I could just hear him say, mildly, paternally, 'Finally, Douglas, one must learn the rules of the game.'

Eunice. I broke into a light sweat as I thought of the next morning's breakfast/with Lily and Miles Fabian, and Eunice saying, over the orange juice and coffee cups, 'The most extraordinary thing happened last night when old Gentle Heart and I got back from the party..,'

I finished my drink, signed for it, and started toward the door. Just as I reached it. Lily came in with three enormous men, not one of them under six feet four. I had noticed them at the party and had seen Lily dancing with one of them. This seemed to be her night for size and quantity. She stopped when she saw me. 'I thought I saw you go off with Eunice,' she said.

'I did.'

'And now you're alone?'

I am.'

She shook her head. There was an amused glint in her eye, 'Peculiar man,' she said. 'Do you want to join us?'

'I'm not large enough,' I said.

The three men laughed, their laughter resounding like bowling balls off the bottles behind the bar. 'Have you seen Miles?' Lily asked.

No.'

'He said he'd try to make it for a nightcap by one.' She shrugged. 'I guess he's so immersed in stripping that desperate oaf Sloane of his last penny he can't be bothered with poor little me. Did you like the party?'

'Smashing,' I said.

'It was almost like being in Texas,' she said ambiguously. 'Shall we drink, chaps?'