两地分居 liǎng dì fēn jū (lyahng dee fen gee)
Long-distance marriage. Literally “in two different places” or “in two different cities.” Such marriages have long been common in China due to a strict residence permit system that results in many people finding work in cities far from their spouse, though nowadays this situation is improving.
金龟婿 jīnguī xù (jean gway she)
A rich husband. Literally “golden turtle husband.” A golden turtle was a status symbol denoting high rank for officials in the Tang dynasty (618-907).
半糖夫妻 bàntáng fūqī (bahn tahng foo chee)
Literally “half-sweet couple.” Couples who live apart during the work week and only spend weekends together, to keep the romance alive in their marriage. An increasingly common phenomenon among upper-middle-class professionals.
走婚族 zǒuhūn zú (dzoe hwen dzoo-the first syllable rhymes with Joe but with the beginning sound like a d and z slurred together)
Literally “walking marriage.” Used to describe young Chinese couples in big cities who stay with their respective parents during the work week and live together only during the weekend.
急婚族 jíhūn zú (gee hwen dzoo)
Literally “hasty marriage group.” A new term that describes people who marry hastily and not for love, especially young women who marry a wealthy man soon after graduating from college so they don’t have to work.
形式结婚 xíngshì jiéhūn (sheeng shih jyih hwen)
A marriage of convenience-for example, between a gay man and a lesbian.
二锅头 èrguōtóu (er gwuh toe)
Literally “second-pot head” and the name of a brand of twice-distilled Chinese liquor. Also slang for a woman who remarries.
Love’s downsides
抬杠 táigàng (tie gahng)
Beijing slang for arguing for the sake of argument or for no reason. Also means being unreasonable in an argument, or deliberately picking a (verbal) fight. Literally “lifting the pole,” as in someone who keeps lifting up one end of the scale just to be higher than the other.
堕入情网 duò rù qíng wǎng (dwuh roo cheeng wahng)
Lovesick. Literally “sink into love’s net.”
麦芽糖女人 màiyátáng nǚrén (migh yah tahng nee ren)
Literally “malt sugar women.” Refers to possessive women who demand that their boyfriends or husbands spend every second with them-cling to them like sticky malt sugar.
气管炎 qìguănyán (chee gwun yen)
Literally “lung infection.” Refers to a man who is so whipped that he never talks back to his girlfriend or wife, thus his friends might jokingly say he has a lung infection.
见光死 jiàn guāng sǐ (gin gwahng sih)
Literally “killed by exposure to light.” Refers to two people who fall for each other via the Internet or phone dates, but whose would-be romance is sadly killed by the cold, harsh light of reality once they actually meet.
离婚同居 líhūn tóngjū (lee hwen tohng gee)
Continuing to live together after a divorce, either because one or both sides can’t afford a new home or because they refuse to pay their ex for their half of the home they jointly owned before the divorce.
断背婚姻 duànbèi hūnyīn (dwun bay hwen een)
Literally “brokeback marriage,” after the Ang Lee movie Brokeback Mountain. Refers to a marriage in which one side is gay and/or has had a gay affair.
私房钱 sīfángqián (sih fahng chyinn)
Literally “private house money.” Refers to the secret stash of money that a wife puts aside in case her husband leaves her. Also refers to the money that a husband secretly puts outside of his wife’s reach because he’s whipped and is expected to give her all the money he earns.
吃醋 chīcù (chih tsoo)
To be jealous, to be envious. Literally “to eat vinegar.” A 醋坛子 cù tánzi (tsoo tahn dz), literally “vinegar jar,” is a jealous person.
窝里横 wōlǐhèng (wuh lee hung)
Literally “unruly in the nest,” referring to people who seem polite and civilized in public and only reveal their nastiness at home.
三角恋 sānjiǎo liàn (sahn jow lyinn)
Love triangle.
爱恨交加 ài hèn jiāojiā (aye hun jow jah)
Love-hate relationship.
心碎 xīn suì (sheen sway)
Brokenhearted.
反目成仇 fǎn mù chéng chóu (fun moo chung cho)
Utter hatred after a breakup.
Extramarital affairs
有一腿 yŏu yì tuǐ (yo ee tway)
Have an affair. Literally “has one leg,” suggesting a man’s leg intertwined with a woman’s. Originated in Hong Kong or Taiwan but used everywhere.
劈腿 pī tuǐ (pee tway)
Affair, cheat, two-timing. Literally “split legs.” Also the technical term for a split in gymnastics. Commonly used in southern China.
戴绿帽子 dài lǜmàozi (die lee mao dz)
A cuckold, a man who is being cheated on. Literally “wear a green hat,” supposedly because male-brother workers during the Tang dynasty had to wear green hats. Because of this term, no Chinese man, and even many Chinese women, will wear green hats. One friend of mine found this out when he had to organize an office Christmas party, and all the Chinese in the office shot down his idea of dressing like elves, as it meant they’d have to wear green hats.
负心汉 fù xīn hàn (foo sheen hahn)
Cheater (referring to a man). Literally “cheating man.”
包二奶 bāoèrnăi (bow er nigh-the bow sound rhymes with “cow”) or just 二奶 èrnăi (er nigh)
Long ago, when Chinese men had multiple wives, èrnăi referred to the second wife. Today it refers to the mistresses of wealthy men and government officials, an extremely common fact of life in China. Literally “packaged second wife.”
傍家儿 bàng jiār (bahng jer)
Mistress. Literally “depend on home.” Pejorative term for a young woman who has an affair with a rich married man. Used in Beijing only.
榜肩 bàng jiàn (bahng jyinn)
Beijing slang for an extramarital lover. Literally “depend on shoulders.”
情儿 qíngr (churr)
Beijing slang for an extramarital lover. Literally “passion.”
小老婆 xiǎolǎopó (shyaow laow pwuh)
Mistress. Literally “little wife.”
蜜 mì (me) or 小蜜 xiǎo mì (shyow me)
Mistress. Literally “honey” or “little honey.”
婚外恋 hūnwàiliàn (hwen why lyinn)
Extramarital love.
小三 xiǎo sān (shyow sahn)
Literally “little third.” Refers to the “third person” in a relationship; i.e., the mistress.
出位 chū wèi (choo way)
Literally “overstep the mark.” Describes a person who has had an extramarital affair. May also describe other situations when a person inappropriately “oversteps the mark”-for example, job applicants who include sexually provocative photos of themselves in their resume (a not infrequent phenomenon, as it is legal for employers in China to require that applicants submit a photo, and many even require that girls be within a certain height and weight limit).