For fourteen years I have done penance for my wrongs to my son.
And the priest, when he had learned of Hugh’s existence, had said, Am I to be given the chance to make up for all the wrong that I did to that boy?
Whatever it was that lay in the past was evidently about to be brought to light.
Hugh’s face rose before Philip’s mind’s eye.
Poor bastard, he found himself thinking. I don’t think he’s in for a very pleasant afternoon.
25
Hugh was halfway across Salisbury Plain when the headache hit. He spent the night in an empty shepherd’s hut, waiting for the agony to pass. By daybreak he was wrung out and exhausted, but his head was clear of pain. He made himself sleep for a couple of hours before he started out once more for Chippenham.
It was midafternoon by the time Hugh reached the open field where the tournament had been held two months before. He halted Rufus and stared for a moment at the great battlemented curtain wall of Chippenham, so gray and forbidding under the cold blue sky. Next his eyes moved to the high stone towers from which flew the crimson flag with its insignia of a golden boar. The flags were rippling in the chill November breeze.
This is where I spent the first seven years of my life, he told himself.
He squeezed his calves gently against Rufus’s sides and the stallion walked forward, carrying him ever closer to the high twin towers that guarded the main entrance to the castle.
The men at the gate recognized him and let him ride under the raised iron portcullis without question.
Hugh was deeply surprised when no one insisted upon escorting him to the earl.
Security at Chippenham was very loose, he thought with stringent disapproval.
There was no doubt that the guards’ carelessness was convenient for his own purposes, however. Unimpeded, Hugh rode Rufus to the stable in the outer bailey and gave the stallion into the hands of a stableboy with instructions about how to feed him. Then he proceeded on foot to the second gate that barred the way to the inner courtyard.
Once again he identified himself to the men on guard at the gate tower and was allowed to pass under the portcullis.
Once again Hugh frowned at the lax discipline that appeared to prevail among Guy’s retainers. He had passed a number of knights and men at arms in the outer bailey, and not one of them had stopped him to ask his business. Even now, as he approached the great square stone keep of Chippenham, with its four towers and its separate forebuilding, no one intercepted him to demand his credentials.
This is disgraceful, Hugh thought as he walked up the wide stone ramp that led to the main entrance of the castle. He went through the heavy door and found himself alone on the stone-floored landing. Instead of taking the stairs to the Great Hall, he turned into the forebuilding, which housed the chapel.
Hugh had no intention of seeking out Guy if he did not have to. He wanted to do this alone.
It was late in the afternoon by the time Philip and his two charges reached Chippenham. Unlike Hugh, Philip’s face was unknown and he was stopped at the gate and questioned about his business.
“We are seeking Hugh de Leon,” Philip replied.
“Have you seen him?” Isabel asked anxiously.
“Aye, my lady.” As she spoke, Isabel had pushed back the hood of her cloak and now the guard stared at her with dazed recognition and admiration. “He arrived about two hours ago.”
Father Anselm said in surprise, “I thought he would be here much sooner than that.”
“Something must have detained him,” Philip said.
“I will be glad to escort you to Lord Guy, my lady,” the guard said respectfully, his eyes still glued to Isabel’s face.
“Thank you,” Isabel replied. “Do you mind if we hurry?”
The knight left the gatehouse and signaled to a squire to bring his horse. Then, with a showy move he had obviously practiced, he leaped into the saddle from the ground.
Before he moved off in front of them, he cast a quick glance at Isabel to see if she had noticed his athleticism.
She was staring at the chapel window in the castle forebuilding.
“Follow me,” the knight said gruffly, and led the way across the bailey to the gate in the castle’s inner walls. Once in the inner courtyard, they all dismounted and servants took their horses. Then their escort led them up the ramp, through the door, and up a flight of narrow stairs to the Great Hall.
Philip looked at Isabel with alarm as they walked into the hall. She was white to the lips.
She was once the mistress of Chippenham, he thought. Returning here must bring back memories.
The dinner hour was approaching and servants were beginning to set up tables in the hall.
“Come and warm yourself before the fire, my lady,” their escort said respectfully. “I will send someone to tell Lord Guy that you are here.”
“Thank you,” Isabel said, and she preceded the men across the floor to the great stone fireplace. Philip could not help but notice how stiffly she walked. The long hours in the saddle had taken their toll on her.
Father Anselm and Isabel waited in tense silence while Philip struggled to reply politely to the guard’s questions. When at last Guy came down the stairs from his private solar, he was obviously stunned to see his sister-in-law.
“Isabel!” he said. “Whatever brings you here?” The gray eyes that were so like Hugh’s flicked from Philip to Father Anselm. “And with so small an escort!”
“Hugh is here, Guy,” Isabel said tersely. “Did you know that?”
The gray eyes widened. “No. No one told me. When did he arrive?”
“A few hours ago, I believe,” Isabel said.
Guy did not look pleased. He cast his eyes around the busy hall, as if searching for someone. “Where is he?”
“I believe he is in the chapel,” Isabel said.
Guy slowly returned his eyes to his sister-in-law. “In the chapel?” A deep line indented his forehead. “Again?”
“What do you mean, ‘again?’” Isabel asked sharply.
“He was here once before. He told me he was trying to recover his memory.” Guy shrugged his heavy shoulders. “He was not successful. Has he decided to try again?”
“Aye,” Isabel said. “And I have come to help him.” She laid her fingers on Guy’s blue wool sleeve. “With your permission, my lord, Father Anselm and I would like to go to the chapel to join Hugh.”
There was a moment’s silence as Guy looked from Isabel to the priest, then back again to Isabel. Then he said grimly, “We’ll all go.”
“No!” Father Anselm protested.
“We’ll all go or no one will go,” Guy said adamantly. “Hugh is not the only one who would like to know what happened the day my brother was murdered.”
Isabel turned to the priest. “It doesn’t matter,” she said. “All that matters now is Hugh.”
After a minute, he nodded reluctantly.
She turned back to Guy. “Very well,” she said. “But let us go immediately. He has been alone there for too long.”
Guy offered Isabel his arm. “Come along then.”
She took it and the two of them led the way back across the Great Hall to the stairs. Father Anselm fell into step on the other side of Guy, and after a moment’s hesitation, Philip followed them.
Hugh had been kneeling in the chapel for hours.
This is what my father used to make me do, he thought. I used to kneel here, and look at the window and the sunlight coming through it. I used to wish that I was outside in the sun, not inside here in the cold and the damp.
He remembered that. He remembered those feelings.
He remembered the guilt and the terror.