GARCIN: I-I didn't exactly refuse. I must say he talks well, he makes out a good case against me, but he never says what I should have done instead. Should I have gone to the general and said: "General, I decline to fight"? A mug's game; they'd have promptly locked me up. But I wanted to show my colors, my true colors, do you understand? I wasn't going to be silenced. So I-I took the train… They caught me at the frontier.
ESTELLE: Where were you trying to go?
GARCIN: To Mexico. I meant to launch a pacifist newspaper down there. Well, why don't you speak?
ESTELLE:What could I say? You acted quite rightly, as you didn't want to fight. But, darling, how on earth can I guess what you want me to answer?
INEZ: Can't you guess? Well, I can. He wants you to tell him that he bolted like a lion. For "bolt" he did, and that's what biting him.
GARCIN: "Bolted," "went away,"- we won't quarrel over words.
ESTELLE: But you had to run away. If you'd stayed they'd have sent you to jail, wouldn't they?
GARCIN: Of course. Well, Estelle, am I a coward?
ESTELLE: How can I say? Don't be so unreasonable, darling. I can't put myself in your skin. You must decide that for yourself.
GARCIN: I can't decide.
ESTELLE: Anyway, you must remember. You must have had reasons for acting as you did.
GARCIN: I had.
ESTELLE: Well?
GARCIN: But were they the real reasons?
ESTELLE: You've a twisted mind, that's your trouble. Plaguing yourself over such trifles!
GARCIN: I'd thought it all out, and I wanted to make a stand. But was that my real motive?
INEZ: Exactly. That's the question. Was that your real motive? No doubt you argued it out with yourself, you weighed the pros and cons, you found good reasons for what you did. But fear and hatred and all the dirty little instincts one keeps dark-- they're motives too. So carry on, Mr.
Garcin, and try to be honest with yourself- for once.
GARCIN: Do I really need you to tell me that? Day and night I paced my cell, from the window to the door, from the door to the window. I pried into my heart, I sleuthed myself like a detective. By the end of it I felt as if I'd given my whole life to introspection. But always I harked back to the one thing certain-- that I had acted as I did, I'd taken that train to the frontier. But why? Why?Finally I thought: My death will settle it. If I face death courageously, I'll prove I am no coward.
INEZ: And how did you face death?
GARCIN: Miserably. Rottenly. Oh, it was only a physical lapse-- that might happen to anyone; I'm not ashamed of it. Only everything's been left in suspense forever. Come here, Estelle. Look at me. I want to feel someone looking at me while they're talking about me on earth… I like green eyes.
INEZ: Green eyes! Just hark to him! And you, Estelle, do you like cowards?
ESTELLE: If you knew how little I care! Coward or hero, it's all one- provided he kisses well.
GARCIN: There they are, slumped in their chairs, sucking at their cigars. Bored they look. Half-asleep. They're thinking:"Garcin's a coward." But only vaguely, dreamily. One's got to think of something. "That chap Garcin was a coward." That's what they've decided, those dear friends of mine. In six months'time they'll be saying: "Cowardly as that skunk Garcin." You're lucky, you two; no one on earth is giving you another thought. But I-I'm long in dying.
INEZ: What about your wife, Garcin?
GARCIN: Oh, didn't I tell you? She's dead.
INEZ: Dead?
GARCIN: Yes, she died just now. About two months ago.
INEZ: Of grief?
GARCIN: What else should she die of? So all is for the best, you see; the war's over, my wife's dead, and I've carved out my place in history.
ESTELLE: My poor darling! Look at me. Please look. Touch me. Touch me. There! Keep your hand there. No, don't move. Why trouble what those men are thinking? They'll die off one by one. Forget them. There's only me, now.
GARCIN: But THEY won't forget me, not they! They'll die, but others will come after them to carry on the legend. I've left my fate in their hands.
ESTELLE: You think too much, that's your trouble.
GARCIN: What else is there to do now? I was a man of action once… Oh, if only I could be with them again, for just one day-I'd fling their lie in their teeth. But I'm locked out; they're passing judgment on my life without troubling about me, and they're right, because I'm dead. Dead and done with. A back number.
ESTELLE: Garcin.
GARCIN: Still there? Now listen! I want you to do me a service. No, don't shrink away. I know it must seem strange to you, having someone asking you for help; you're not used to that. But if you'll make the effort, if you'll only WILL it hard enough, I dare say we can really love each other. Look at it this way. A thousand of them are proclaiming I'm a coward; but what do numbers matter? If there's someone, just one person, to say quite positively I did not run away, that I'm not the sort who runs away, that I'm brave and decent and the rest of it- well, that one person's faith would save me. Will you have that faith in me? Then I shall love you and cherish you for ever. Estelle- will you?
ESTELLE: Oh, you dear silly man, do you think I could love a coward?
GARCIN: But just now you said-
ESTELLE: I was only teashing you. I like men, my dear, who're real men, with tough skin and strong hands. You haven't a coward's chin, or a coward's mouth, or a coward's voice, or a coward's hair. And it's for your mouth, your hair, your voice, I love.
GARCIN: Do you mean this? REALLY mean it?
ESTELLE: Shall I swear it?
GARCIN: Then I snap my fingers at them all, those below and those in here. Estelle, we shall climb out of hell. (Inez laughs.) What's that?
INEZ: But she doesn't mean a word of what she says. How can you be such a simpleton? "Estelle, am I a coward?" As if she cared a damn either way.
ESTELLE: Inez, how dare you? Don't listen to her. If you want me to have faith in you, you must begin by trusting me.
INEZ: That's right! That's right! Trust away! She wants a man- that far you can trust her- she wants a man's arm round her waist, a man's smell, a man's eyes glowing with desire. And that's all she wants. She'd assure you you were God Almighty if she thought it would give you pleasure.
GARCIN: Estelle, is it true? Answer me. Is it true?
ESTELLE:What do you expect me to say? Don't you realize how maddening it is to have to answer questions one can't make head or tail of? You do make things difficult…Anyhow, I'd love you just the same, even if you were a coward. Isn't that enough?
GARCIN: You disgust me, both of you.
ESTELLE: What are you up to?
GARCIN: I'm going.
INEZ: You won't get far. The door is locked.
GARCIN: I'll MAKE them open it.
ESTELLE: Please! Please!
INEZ: Don't worry, my pet. The bell doesn't work.
GARCIN: I tell you they shall open. I can't endure it any longer, I'm through with you both. Go away.(to Estelle) You're even fouler than she. I won't let myself get bogged in your eyes. You're soft and slimy. Ugh! Like an octopus. Like a quagmire.
ESTELLE: I beg you, oh, I beg you not to leave me. I'll promise not to speak again, I won't trouble you in any way- but don't go. I daren't be left alone with Inez, now she's shown her claws.
GARCIN: Look after yourself. I never asked you to come here.
ESTELLE: Oh, how mean you are! Yes, it's quite true you're a coward.
INEZ: Well, my little sparrow fallen from the nest, I hope you're satisfied now. You spat in my face- playing up to him, of course- and we had a tiff on his accound. But he's going, and a good riddance it will be. We two women will have the place to ourselves.
ESTELLE:You won't gain anything. If that door opens, I'm going too.
INEZ: Where?
ESTELLE: I don't care where. As far from you as I can.
GARCIN: Open the door! Open,blast you! I'll endure anything, your red-hot tongs and molten lead, your racks and prongs and garrotes- all your fiendish gadgets, everything that burns and flays and tears- I'll put up with any torture you impose. Anything, anything would be better than this agony of mind, this creeping pain that gnaws and fumbles and caresses one and never hurts quite enough. Now will you open? (THE DOOR