He left the tired man with them and went away. The man stood staring at them, then said in a trembling voice, “Don’t you know me, Sheikh Magd? Don’t you know me, Dimyan?”
“Who? Hamza!”
They both shouted and pounced on him, embracing him and lifting him off the ground. In a few moments he was sitting between them crying and laughing and telling his story.
“Where can I begin, Sheikh Magd? What do I say, Dimyan? This story of mine could be the subject of epics recited by professional storytellers! Yes, I swear! Coming back to Egypt was the farthest thing from my thoughts. Where was Egypt? From the moment that stupid African son-of-a-bitch soldier pulled me up, I lost all hope of ever coming back. May God forgive him — I saw his belly blown up before my very eyes. May God forgive him. He took me away from you, from my children, from my people and my country. You all moved away from me. I saw you running backwards as the dust blinded me, and I couldn’t see anyone any more. I found myself in Marsa Matruh. I spent a whole night in the train, with the soldiers mocking me and making fun of me. They didn’t give me a chance to get near the door. I would have jumped, I swear, even if it meant I’d die. All night they mocked me, Australians, Indians, Africans, and Englishmen, the whole world was mocking me, and I was lost in their midst. They asked me what my name was. ‘What’s your name?’ I said, ‘Hamza,’ and they said ‘hamsa,’ ‘amsa,’ ‘gamza,’ and they laughed and tossed me around from one to another, and I was frightened as a mouse, looking them in the eye and begging them, ‘Please help me, please let me go home.’ But it was no use. I wish I hadn’t known a word of English or had just shut up, but I did know some. I asked and persisted that they let me go. I knew they understood, but they didn’t care and didn’t move. It hurt. If I had been mute or ignorant I would have waited in silence, but I got down on my knees and begged them. ‘Please let me go back, let me go home, please, my home, home.’ And they laughed and said, ‘Home? What’s home? We are homeless. You’re like us, homeless, Hamsa,’ and they laughed, ‘Hamsa is homeless,’ and kept on laughing until a young officer, who apparently liked my helplessness and my fright, patted me on the shoulder to reassure me. Then he talked with the soldiers, and they laughed even more boisterously. I realized that he wasn’t going to help me either, but he pointed to a corner of the train car, and I went and sat there. I put my hand on my cheek and realized I was a goner, no doubt about it. I heard the officer say as he pointed as me, ‘Like a monkey!’ and the soldiers laughed, and I just gave up all hope. I remembered you, Sheikh Magd, and you, Dimyan. But strangely, I was afraid that if I came back and told my story that you, Dimyan, would not believe me, and that made me smile, despite the ordeal, and I said to myself, ‘If only I could go back. I wouldn’t care whether anybody believed me or not.’ Then, like Sheikh Magd, I said to myself, ‘May He who never sleeps take care of me!’ And He did. Praise the Lord, but He really took His time! It must have been a test, surely, but a hard one. ‘Anyway, praise the Lord for everything,’ I said to myself and fell asleep where I was, and when I woke up I found myself in Marsa Matruh in the middle of a heavy raid on the town, the station, and the train. I saw soldiers running in the desert, and sometimes I was ahead of them and at other times behind them. I saw a bomb falling near that stupid African soldier who had abducted me, and I saw him fly more than ten meters in the air, then land with his belly torn wide open, and blood gushing from it. I saw his stomach and his guts. I went close to him and saw that he was still alive but not in pain, but he looked hard at me as if he felt I was gloating over his misfortune and didn’t want to appear weak in front of me. But really, I pitied him. He just turned once and groaned, then gave up the ghost, and I covered him with sand, right there in the middle of the bombing, I swear I did. Anyway the raid ended, and we were back in the middle of the barracks, I stood there, at a loss for what to do. I expected them to let me go, but they pushed me toward the kitchen. I saw the same officer that was on the train and heard him say to a black soldier, ‘Take him to the kitchen. He’s a servant.’ The black soldier with white teeth dragged me over and asked me what my name was, and when I told him, he said, ‘What is Hamsa?’ And I said to myself, ‘My God! Must a man know the meaning of his name?’ And I told him, ‘Jackass,’ but I said it in Arabic, just ‘Humar,’ so he asked me, ‘What’s humar?’ I said ‘Hamza,’ and he looked at me for a time in silence, then said, ‘Very good, Hamsa.’
“All day and all night I worked in the kitchen, carrying food and washing the dishes and pots and pans and saying to myself, ‘It’s okay, at least I’m being fed, and one might hate something that is good for oneself. In the end, someone is going to find out my true story and will let me go to the station, get on the train, and go back to my children,’ but nobody paid any attention to me. I kept looking around the barracks for a way to escape, but I couldn’t figure out which was east and which was west. There were soldiers of every color and nationality and arms of all types out there in the middle of the desert. I just resigned myself to the will of God and prayed that a German raid would come and level the barracks. I dreamt I was going back by myself. The officer kept looking at me and laughing and talking with the other officers, who laughed too. One day he signaled me to follow him, and my heart sank. I followed him to a large car full of soldiers. There were many cars full of soldiers with their weapons. He told me to jump, and I stood there, at a loss — the car was too high, and I was too short. But a soldier, another black one, extended his hand to me and pulled me up. In a little while the cars began to move, surrounded by tanks and guns. I was very frightened, as frightened as an orphan puppy, so I asked the black soldier, ‘To where we go, soldier?’ Laughing, he said to me, ‘To the war,’ and laughed like a crazy man. I knew already, of course, that it was the war, and that meant the end of me. I was sad, and implored God for one thing, that he defeat the English and the Allies in all their wars against the Germans and the poor Italians and that I end up being a prisoner of the Germans or the Italians, who, if they knew my story, would let me go. The whole way, the officer was yelling at the soldiers. It turned out he was a vicious son of a bitch. I heard the officers calling him ‘Shakespeare,’ which was his name, apparently. But the soldiers used to call him ‘Macbess.’ It seemed that was his nickname. That’s what I thought. So once I said to him, ‘Mr. Macbess’ and he gave me such a look, I was completely terrified. I knew the soldiers had duped me, and that the word ‘macbess’ must be a bad word, otherwise why would he be so upset? It must be an insult or something. I said to myself, ‘May God take Shakespeare and Macbess the same day!’ After that I found it really hard to serve food to the soldiers at their posts. They gave me a uniform, of course. The battalion I was taking food to was all Indian soldiers. I said to myself that perhaps serving them would be easier, since they were enslaved like us, but serving them was the pits. There was not a single Muslim among them that I could talk with. They were of course all taller than me, wearing turbans that always looked like they were about to fall off their heads. They didn’t bother wearing helmets. All their orders to me were gestures. They treated me like I was a deaf-mute. At night I slept in the kitchen and amused myself with poetry, singing and crying:
Look at time and what it has done to people:
One day it smiles at them, the next it frowns.
The days of joy are gone, had times are upon us,