The screen door creaked on its hinges, and he looked up to see her. His boots dropped to the floor, and he straightened in the chair.
She had on the same thing she’d worn the day she’d left him: that buttery cotton dress with the big tan buttons down the front. This evening there was no headband in her hair. It fell helter-skelter around her beautiful face and looked just as it did when they’d finished making love.
She slipped her hands into the pockets. “Why are you doing this?”
He wanted to sweep her right off the porch and into the woods where he’d love her until she was the one with beard burn and dry leaves in her hair. “You’re not leaving, Jane. Not without giving us a chance to work this out.”
“We’ve had lots of chances, and we’ve blown every one.”
“You mean I have. I promise you I won’t blow the next one.”
He rose from the rocker and moved toward her. She took an instinctive step back against the railing. He forced himself not to go any closer. He wasn’t the only one who didn’t like being backed into a corner.
“I love you, Jane.”
If he’d expected his announcement to sweep her off her feet, he’d badly miscalculated. Instead of showing pleasure, her big, sad eyes seemed to swallow her face.
“You don’t love me, Cal. Don’t you see? This has turned into another game for you. Last night you finally realized that you were going to lose, but you’re a champion, and losing isn’t acceptable. Champions do whatever it takes to win, even saying things they don’t really mean.”
He stared at her, flabbergasted. She didn’t believe him! How could she think this was just about winning? “You’re wrong. That’s not it at all. I mean what I said.”
“Maybe right this second you do, but remember what happened after you saw me naked. The game was over, Cal, and you lost interest. This is the same way. If I agreed to take you back, you’d lose interest.”
“I didn’t lose interest after I saw you naked! Where did you get that crazy idea?”He realized he was yelling, and frustration made him want to yell even louder. Why was it so impossible for him to communicate like a normal person?
He swallowed hard and ignored the film of sweat that was breaking out on his forehead. “I love you, Jane, and once I make up my mind about something, it’s made up for good. We’re alike that way. Call off your watchdogs.”
“They’re not my watchdogs, they’re yours!” Agitation showed in her expression. “I’ve tried to get them to leave, but they won’t do it. They’ve got this idea that you need them. You! Ethan’s told me all the sentimental stories from your childhood, and Kevin has described every touchdown you’ve ever made or even thought about making. As if I care! Your father’s narrowed in on your academic accomplishments, which is the last thing I want to hear about!”
“I’ll bet my mother hasn’t been singing my praises.”
“For a while she concentrated on the good causes you support. Then she began to explain how she used to play hopscotch with you, but she started to cry and had to walk away, so I’m not sure what she was trying to tell me.”
“And Annie? What did she say?”
“That you’re a spawn of Satan, and I’m better off without you.”
“She did not.”
“Close enough.”
“Jane, I love you. I don’t want you to go.”
Her face twisted with pain. “Right now you love the challenge of me, but that’s not enough to build a life on.” She hugged herself and rubbed her arms. “These past few weeks have finally cleared the cobwebs from my brain. I don’t know what I was thinking of to believe we could have a lasting relationship. It can’t always be raging fights and knockdown arguments. You feed on that, but I need someone who’s going to be there for me after the challenge is gone.”
“For all your brains, you don’t understand anything!” God, he was yelling again. He took a deep breath and lowered his voice. “Can’t you just take a chance that I mean exactly what I say?”
“It’s too important to take chances.”
“Listen to me, Jane. This isn’t about fights and challenges. I love you, and I want to stay married for the rest of our lives.”
She shook her head.
Pain cut through him. He was spilling his guts, but she wasn’t buying any of it. He couldn’t think of a single thing that would convince her.
She spoke softly. “I’m leaving tomorrow, even if I have to use the police to get me out. Good-bye, Cal.” She turned away and walked inside.
He squeezed his eyes shut as despair washed through him. He was weak-kneed and aching, just as if he’d taken a career-ending hit. Except he wasn’t going to give up. Not ever.
As much as the idea of public declarations upset his sense of privacy, he couldn’t think of anything else to do but take his case to the people. Clenching his jaw, he followed her inside.
Chapter Twenty-Two
A nnie had her eyes glued to VH-1, where a Whitney Houston video mutely flickered. His parents sat on the couch holding hands and gazing at each other as if they were posing for a DeBeers anniversary ad. Ethan and Kevin had pulled kitchen chairs up to the gateleg table in the corner and were playing cards. All of them looked up at Cal as he walked in. Jane had already disappeared.
He felt foolish, but he knew that reaction came from pride, an emotion he couldn’t afford right now when he needed the entire team behind him. He struggled to compose himself. “Jane doesn’t think I’m serious about loving her.”
Ethan and Kevin regarded him over the top of their cards. His mother’s forehead creased. “Do you know that she likes to dance? Not those country and western line dances, but rock and roll.”
He didn’t exactly see how that was going to help him right now, but he filed it away.
“I’m sick of all this commotion!” Annie slapped the remote on the arm of her chair.“Jim Bonner, you go get Janie right this minute and make her come out. It’s time things got settled around here, so I can have some peace and quiet.”
“Yes, ma’am.” With a flicker of a smile at his wife, Jim rose from the couch and headed toward the spare bedroom.
Jane looked up from the suitcase she’d been packing and saw Jim standing in the doorway. “What’s wrong?”
“You have to come out in the living room now and face Cal.”
“I already faced him, and I don’t want to do it again.”
“You have to. Annie says.”
“No.”
One eyebrow shot up. “What did you say?”
“I said no?” Unfortunately, it came out as a question instead of a statement, but there was definitely something intimidating about this man and his raised eyebrow.
“Right now I’m the closest thing you’ve got to a father, and I’m telling you to get yourself out there!”
Bemused, she watched as he jabbed his hand in the general direction of the living room. She couldn’t help comparing the authoritarian look in his eyes with the way her own father had always regarded her, as if he were vaguely repulsed.
“No arguments. March!”
She thought about asking him if he intended to ground her if she disobeyed, but decided that wasn’t a good idea. “Jim, this isn’t going to work.”
He walked over and pulled her into his arms for a reassuring squeeze. “He needs to have his say. He deserves that.”
She rested her cheek against his shirt front. “He already had his say on the front porch a few minutes ago.”
“Apparently he didn’t finish.” He gently pushed her away and gave her a nudge toward the door. “Go on now. I’m right behind you.”
Cal looked even more dangerous in the living room than he’d looked on the porch, where the light had been dimmer. She noted his narrowed gunslinger’s eyes and cattle rustler’s expression. She wanted to believe that the three other men present would come to her rescue if he proved to be completely unreasonable, but she suspected that they were on his side.