“I can’t imagine there’s even a piece of underwear elastic they haven’t seen.”
“It’s okay, Jane. I won’t snap your head off if you bring up the subject. I know I’ve done that before, but it won’t happen again. It doesn’t take a lot of insight to know that you see me as pretty aimless right now, and I appreciate the fact that you didn’t hit me with that in front of my family.”
“Aimless?”
“Just because I don’t know what I’m going to do when I stop playing ball doesn’t mean I’m not worthy of you. I know you might think that, but everything will change as soon as I get things figured out. I just need a little more time to sort through my options, that’s all.”
She stared at him, flabbergasted. This was the first time he’d acknowledged that he wouldn’t be playing football forever. But what did that have to do with her feelings toward him? Not for a moment had she regarded his lack of plans for the future as a roadblock.
“I’ve never said I don’t believe you’re worthy.”
“You don’t have to say it. I know what you’re thinking. Worthy people work.”
“You work.”
It was as if she hadn’t spoken. “You’re a physicist. That’s worthy work. My father’s a doctor; Ethan’s a minister. The guys down at the Mountaineer are teachers, plumbers, backhoe operators. They tend bar or build houses. They work. But what am I?”
“You’re a football player.”
“And then what?”
She caught her breath, still unable to believe he was willing to admit his professional career was coming to an end. “Only you know the answer to that.”
“But, you see, I don’t know the answer. I don’t have any idea what I’m going to do with the rest of my life. God knows, I’ve got enough money tucked away for three lifetimes, but I’ve never seen money as the mark of anybody’s worth.”
She finally understood. All along, Cal’s refusal to acknowledge either his age or the fact that he’d soon be forced to retire hadn’t been rooted in pigheadedness, but despair over finding work that would satisfy him.
She didn’t know why she was so surprised. This was the same man who’d insisted on marrying a woman he hated just so his child would be legitimate. Beneath all that macho strut, Cal had a strong set of old-fashioned values. Those values dictated that a man without worthy work didn’t deserve respect.
“Cal, there are so many things you could do. You could coach, for example.”
“I’d be a terrible coach. You might not have noticed, but I don’t have a lot of patience with stupidity. If I told somebody something once and he didn’t get it, I wouldn’t have the patience to tell him a second time. That’s not the way to build a successful football team.”
“What about Kevin? He says he’s learned more about football from you than anyone.”
“That’s because he catches on the first time.”
“You’re very good on television. Why don’t you think about broadcasting?”
“I can’t work up any enthusiasm for it. Once in a while it’s okay, but not for a life’s work. Not for me.”
“You have a degree in biology. You could use that.”
“My degree is fifteen years old. I don’t remember a darned thing. I only got it because I like science and the outdoors.”
“You have a lot of experience in business. Maybe you could start a company.”
“Business bores me. Always has. Always will.” He glanced over at her, but didn’t quite meet her eyes. “I’ve been thinking that maybe I could work on my golf game. In a couple of years, I might be able to qualify for the pro tour.”
“I thought you were a mediocre golfer.”
“Not exactly mediocre,” he said defensively. “A little better than that.” He sighed.“Never mind. Stupid idea.”
“You’ll think of something.”
“Darn right I will, so if that’s what’s holding you back, put it right out of your mind. I’ve got no intention of spending the rest of my life lazing around and living off my money. I couldn’t dishonor you like that.”
He meant that he couldn’t dishonor himself. She wondered how long this had been twisting away inside him? “Your future job prospects aren’t what’s between us, Cal. You still don’t understand. I can’t stand having my love tossed back in my face again. It’s too painful.”
He flinched. “You’ll never know how sorry I am about that. I had a panic reaction. Some people take a lot longer to grow up than others, and I guess I’m one of them.” He reached over and covered her hand with his. “You’re the most important thing in the world to me. I know you don’t believe it, but I’m going to prove it to you.”
Releasing her, he swung the Blazer into a parking place in front of the hardware store, then cursed softly under his breath. “It’s closed for the night. I didn’t even think about that.”
“You’re bringing me to the hardware store to prove you love me?”
“I promise I’ll take you dancing soon. Rock and roll, not country and western.” He got out of the car, came around to open the door for her, and drew her out to stand next to him. “Come on.”
Completely mystified, she let him lead her into the narrow alley that ran between the pharmacy and hardware store. When they reached the back door, he tested the knob, but the door was locked. The next thing she knew, he’d kicked it in.
A security alarm shrieked.
“Cal! Have you gone crazy?”
“Pretty much.” Grabbing her arm, he pulled her inside. What was he doing?
He manacled her wrist with his fingers and drew her past lawn chairs and lighting fixtures to the paint section. The alarm continued its disconcerting wail. “The police are going to come!” she exclaimed.
“Don’t you worry about the police; Odell Hatcher and I have been friends for years. You just worry about whether or not we can find the right wallpaper for that kitchen of ours.”
“Wallpaper?You brought me here to pick out wallpaper?”
He looked at her as if she were dull-witted. “How else am I supposed to prove my feelings for you?”
“But…”
“Here we are.” He settled her, not ungently, onto one of the stools that lined the counter in the wallpaper department, then turned to regard the shelves, which were stocked with dozens of wallpaper books. “Damn, I didn’t know it was going to be this complicated.” He began reading off the shelf labels. “Bathrooms. Dining rooms. Vinyls. Flocks. What the hell is a flock? Don’t they have something with-I don’t know-horses or something? Do you see a horse category?”
“Horses?”
For the first time, a shadow of a smile tugged at the corner of his mouth, as if he were beginning to realize just how ridiculous this was. “You could help out a little bit here instead of just saying things back to me.”
The wail of a police siren joined the security alarm, and tires screeched in front of the store. “Stay right here,” he ordered. “I’ll take care of this. On second thought, maybe you’d better crouch down behind the counter just in case Odell has his gun out.”
“Gun! I swear, Calvin Bonner… when this is over, I’m going to-”
Her threat died on her lips as he pulled her from the stool and pushed her to her knees on the carpet behind the counter.
“Odell, it’s me!” he called out. “Cal Bonner.”
“Get out of the way, Cal!” a rough voice replied. “We got a robbery goin’ on here. Don’t tell me they took you hostage!”
“There’s no robbery. I kicked in the door because I have to pick out some wallpaper. My wife’s here, too, so if you’ve got any ideas about firing that gun you’ve got in your hand, forget it. Tell Harley I’ll settle up with him tomorrow. And help me turn off this damned alarm.”
It took Cal a good fifteen minutes, along with the appearance of Harley Crisp, the hardware store owner, before the alarm was turned off and things set straight.