"Me, too," came the whisper.
"There it is again," said Fargo. "I'm not insane, and I'm not hearing things, and you wouldn't be just sitting there, Jeff, if you didn't know who was talking. You better tell me." He walked over to Norby, still on his side, and looked down at the barrel. "What is this? Don't tell me you brought a libation for the solstice and then spilled it."
"No," said Jeff. "That barrel is my robot."
"Are you kidding? What kind of robot is a barrel?" He put out his foot and pushed it gently.
"That's extremely impolite," Norby said. "Why do you let him do that, Jeff?" The robot extruded his legs and arms and struggled upright. His hat lifted, and two eyes glared furiously at Fargo. "If I kicked you, " he said, "I'm sure you would object."
"What do you know?" said Fargo, sounding dumbfounded. "It is a robot. Where did you get it, Jeff?"
"At a secondhand robot store. You told me to get a teaching robot, and that's what it is. And he's my friend, mostly. Are you all right, Norby?"
"Yes," said Norby, "and I'm glad you think I'm your friend, even though you don't treat me like one. Surely you don't expect me to stay all right when you persist in putting us into these dangerous situations with muggers-"
"That's a teaching robot?" said Fargo.
"He sure is. He's teaching me that life is complicated and dangerous," said Jeff. "But you still haven't told me who these muggers are. Or don't you know?"
"Well, I don't know them by name, but I suppose they're a pair of Ing, s henchmen. " With his foot he prodded the smaller one, who was still groaning. "They don't seem to be badly damaged, unfortunately."
Suddenly the larger one grunted, opened his eyes, and rolled over, reaching for a short stick that lay in the grass.
Norby extended an arm farther than Jeff knew he could, grabbed the stick, and touched the henchman with it. The henchman yowled and seemed to collapse.
Norby threw the stick to Jeff. "Take it," he cried. "My sixth sense tells me you may find it useful."
Fargo walked over, took the stick from Jeff, and examined it closely. "Hey, what we've got here is an illegal truth wand, with a built-in stunner. That's an expensive item and a beautiful job, too. This shouldn't be available outside the Space Fleet."
"That shows how inefficient the fleet is," Norby said. " Anyone can rifle its stores."
"Don't tell me the fleet is-" began Fargo. He broke off and said, "What kind of robot have you got here, Jeff? Robots have a built-in prohibition about harming human beings. It's called the First Law of Robotics."
"There's another sample of gratitude for you," Norby said. "I suppose you would have been happy if that mugger had used the stunner on you. You didn't even recognize what it was when it was lying on the grass. Come to think of it, he probably couldn't have managed to stun you with it. If you don't have a brain, there's nothing to stun."
"Listen here," said Fargo, "a robot shouldn't be insulting!" He strode toward the robot, who galloped toward Jeff.
"Leave him alone, Fargo," Jeff said. "He doesn't really hurt human beings."
"Of course not," said Norby. "It's not my fault I fell on one of them. It was Jeff who said 'Bombs away.' And I was just trying to protect human beings-meaning you, Fargo, using the word loosely-by seizing the truth wand before the mugger did. How did I know it was set to ~e stun intensity? And I didn't mean to touch him accidentally. Listen, Jeff, I don't trust that dumb brother of yours. Is he on our side?"
"Yes, he is," said Jeff. "And he's not dumb."
"Well, he worries about my hurting muggers, and he doesn't worry about the fact that he's hurting my feelings, and I call that dumb."
"He doesn't know you yet. And he doesn't know how sensitive your feelings are."
Fargo asked, "Why is your robot talking to you, Jeff, while he's facing me with his eyes closed?"
"His eyes are open on this side," Jeff said. "He has a double-ended head with a pair of eyes on each side. I bought him at the store you recommended."
"Which has a proprietor," said Norby, "who is seriously dishonest-and stupid. He tried to cheat Jeff."
"You mean that the proprietor stuck you with that barrel, Jeff?"
"No," said Jeff. "I insisted on having Norby. He sort of… appealed to me. Actually, the proprietor tried to keep me from taking him."
"Really? It appealed to you? And this robot calls me dumb?"
"Listen, Fargo. Don't call the robot 'it.' This robot's name is Norby, and he's a very unusual robot. He's just a little mixed up."
"You weren't going to tell anyone about me," wailed Norby.
"Fargo isn't just anyone. He's my brother. He's part of us. Besides, saying you 're mixed up isn't telling. Fargo is going to find that out after he's been with you for five minutes. With you around, it's got to be the worst-kept secret in the world."
"There you go hurting my feelings again," said Norby. "Just because I'm a poor, put-upon robot, you think you can say anything at all to me."
"Let's stop this love feast," Fargo said drily. "We have more important things to do. For instance, our captives are about to wake up. You'd better use the stunner, Jeff."
"We've got to get them to talk, Fargo, and we can't do that if they're stunned. Norby, tie them up before they're completely awake."
"With what?" asked Norby. "I may be a mixed-up robot, but I'm not so mixed up that I can tie up people without rope. Do I look as though I'm carrying rope on my person?"
"Use this," Fargo said, tossing Norby a coiled wire. "This was going to be a fancy solstice celebration in keeping with family tradition, but what with one thing and another we won't have any at all."
"What has the wire got to do with the solstice?" Jeff asked.
"Never mind," said Fargo loftily. "I'll surprise you next year. That is," he added with a sigh, "if we get to next year-what with one thing and another."
Norby, meanwhile, with surprising efficiency, tied the hands of the captured pursuers tightly behind their backs with the single length of wire so that they were tied to each other as well. He then closed up again and appeared to be just a barrel resting on the grass beside Jeff.
"Give me the wand," said Fargo.
Jeff hesitated. "Don't you think we'd better get the police? Even in Manhattan, civilians are not supposed to take the law into their own hands."
"This is my affair," said Fargo, "And I'll handle the police if it comes to that. "He took the wand from his younger brother, who gave it up with obvious reluctance, and waved it in front of the two men. "Welcome to the world, gentlemen. First, your names."
The two men clamped their mouths shut, but at the first touch of the wand, the big, burly one yelped. Then, with a growl, he said, "I'm Fister. That's Sligh."
"Ah," said Fargo. " A sly spy?"
"Spelled S-L-I-G-H," said Sligh. "And you can't keep us, Wells. The longer you do, the worse it will be for you in the end-and for your brother, too. I warn you."
"Warning noted," Fargo said. "But before I cower in terror and let you go, let's find out a few things." He adjusted the wand. "You won't get hurt now unless you lie. Telling the truth pleases a wand like this-and do keep in mind that this is your wand I'm using. Any illegality in this respect is on your side." He prodded Sligh. "First, I'd like to know who Ing is, and what he looks like. Is he by any chance a beautiful woman? That might make things a little better. "
"I don't know," said Sligh. He was-or had been-neatly dressed in brown, with slicked-back hair and a long, sharp face.