A tree was near him, with a thermostatically controlled cover which domed it in whenever the winds were too strong or too dry, and an underground sprinkler which kept it alive when surface moisture was not sufficient. It was one of the old MacArthur extravagances which his McBan ancestor had inherited and had added to the Station of Doom. It was a modified Earth oak, very big, a full thirteen meters high. Rod was proud of it although he did not like it much, but he had relatives who were obsessed by it and would make a three-hour ride just to sit in the shade — dim and diffuse as it was — of a genuine tree from Earth.
When he looked at the tree, a violent noise assailed him.
Mad frantic laughter.
Laughter beyond all jokes.
Laughter, sick, wild, drunk, dizzy.
He started to be angry and was then puzzled. Who could be laughing at him already? As a matter of nearer fact, who could be trespassing on his land? Anyhow, what was there to laugh about?
(All Norstrilians knew that humor was “pleasurable corrigible malfunction.” It was in the Book of Rhetoric which their Appointed Relatives had to get them through if they were even to qualify for the tests of the Garden of Death. There were no schools, no classes, no teachers, no libraries except for private ones. There were just the seven liberal arts, the six practical sciences, and the five collections of police and defense studies. Specialists were trained offworld, but they were trained only from among the survivors of the Garden, and nobody could get as far as the Garden unless the sponsors, who staked their lives along with that of the student — so far as the question of aptness was concerned — guaranteed that the entrant knew the eighteen kinds of Norstrilian knowledge. The Book of Rhetoric came second, right after the Book of Sheep and Numbers, so that all Norstrilians knew why they laughed and what there was to laugh about.)
But this laughter!
Aagh, who could it be?
A sick man? Impossible. Hostile hallucinations brought on by the Hon. Sec. in his own onseckish way with unusual telepathic powers? Scarcely.
Rod began to laugh himself.
It was somewhat rare and beautiful, a kookaburra bird, the same kind of bird which had laughed in Original Australia on Old Old Earth. A very few had reached this new planet and they had not multiplied well, even though the Norstrilians respected them and loved them and wished them well.
Good luck came with their wild birdish laughter. A man could feel he had a fine day ahead. Lucky in love, thumb in an enemy’s eye, new ale in the fridge, or a ruddy good chance on the market.
Laugh, bird, laugh! thought Rod.
Perhaps the bird understood him. The laughter increased and reached manic, hilarious proportions, The bird sounded as though it were watching the most comical bird-comedy which any bird-audience had ever been invited to, as though the bird-jokes were sidesplitting, convulsive, gutpopping, unbelievable, racy, daring, and overwhelming. The bird-laughter became hysterical and a note of fear, of warning crept in.
Rod stepped toward the tree.
In all this time he had not seen the kookaburra.
He squinted into the tree, peering against the brighter side of the sky which showed that morning had arrived well.
To him, the tree was blindingly green, since it kept most of its Earth color, not turning beige or grey as the Earth grasses had done when they had been adapted and planted in Norstrilian soil.
To be sure, the bird was there, a tiny slender laughing impudent shape.
Suddenly the bird cawed: this was no laugh.
Startled, Rod stepped back and started to look around for danger.
The step saved his life.
The sky whistled at him, the wind hit him, a dark shape shot past him with the speed of a projectile and was gone. As it leveled out just above the ground, Rod saw what it was.
A mad sparrow.
Sparrows had reached twenty kilos’ weight, with straight swordlike beaks almost a meter in length. Most of the time the Commonwealth left them alone, because they preyed on the giant lice, the size of footballs, which had grown with the sick sheep. Now and then one went mad and attacked people.
Rod turned, watching the sparrow as it walked around, about a hundred meters away.
Some mad sparrows, it was rumored, were not mad at all, but were tame sparrows sent on evil missions of revenge or death by Norstrilian men whose minds had been twisted into crime. This was rare, this was crime, but this was possible.
Could the Onseck already be attacking?
Rod slapped his belt for weapons as the sparrow took to the air again, flapping upward with the pretense of innocence. He had nothing except his belt light and a canister. This would not hold out long unless somebody came along. What could a tired man do, using bare hands, against a sword which burst through the air with a monomaniac birdbrain behind it?
Rod braced himself for the bird’s next power dive, holding the canister like a shield.
The canister was not much of a shield.
Down came the bird, preceded by the whistle of air against its head and beak. Rod watched for the eyes and when he saw them, he jumped.
The dust roared up as the giant sparrow twisted its spearklike beak out of the line of the ground, opened its wings, beat the air against gravity, caught itself centimeters from the surface and flapped away with powerful strokes; Rod stood and watched quietly, glad that he had escaped.
His left arm was wet.
Rain was so rare in the Norstrilian plains that he did not see how he could have gotten wet. He glanced down idly.
Blood it was, and his own.
The kill-bird had missed him with its beak but had touched him with the razorlike wing feathers, which had mutated into weapons; both the rachis and the vane in the large feathers were tremendously reinforced, with the development of a bitterly sharp byporachis in the case of the wingtips. The bird had cut him so fast he had not felt it or noticed it.
Like any good Norstrilian, he thought in terms of first-aid.
The flow of blood was not very rapid. Should he try to tie up his arm first or to hide from the next diving attack?
The bird answered his question for him.
The ominous whistle sounded again.
Rod flung himself along the ground, trying to get to the base of the tree trunk, where the bird could not dive on him.
The bird, making a serious mental mistake, thought it had disabled him. With a flutter of wings it landed calmly, stood on its feet, and cocked its head to look him over. When the bird moved its head, the sword-beak gleamed evilly in the weak sunshine.
Rod reached the tree and started to lift himself up by seizing the trunk.
Doing this, he almost lost his life.
He had forgotten how fast the sparrows could run on the ground.
In one second, the bird was standing, comical and evil, studying him with its sharp, bright eyes; the next second, the knife-beak was into him, just below the bony part of the shoulder.
He felt the eerie wet pull of the beak being drawn out of his body, the ache in his surprised flesh which would precede the griping pain. He hit at the bird with his belt light. He missed.
By now he was weakened from his two wounds. The arm was still dripping blood steadily and he felt his shirt get wet as blood poured out of his shoulder.
The bird, backing off, was again studying him by cocking its head. Rod tried to guess his chances. One square blow from his hand, and the bird was dead. The bird had thought him disabled, but now he really was partially disabled.
If his blow did not land, score one mister for the bird, mark a credit for the Hon. Sec., give Old Hot and Simple the victory!
By now Rod had not the least doubt that Houghton Syme was behind the attack.
The bird rushed.
Rod forgot to fight the way he had planned.