"'Well,' I said, as soon as the girl had closed the door behind her, 'so you've got rid of Smith?'
"A sickly smile passed over his face. 'You have not mentioned it to any one?' he asked anxiously.
"'Not to a soul,' I replied; 'though I confess I often feel tempted to.'
"'I sincerely trust you never will,' he said, in a tone of alarm. 'You can have no conception of the misery the whole thing causes me. I cannot understand it. What possible affinity there can be between myself and that disgusting little snob passes my comprehension. I assure you, my dear Mac, the knowledge that I was a ghoul, or a vampire, would cause me less nausea than the reflection that I am one and the same with that odious little Whitechapel bounder. When I think of him every nerve in my body―'
"'Don't think about him any more,' I interrupted, perceiving his strongly-suppressed emotion. 'You didn't come here to talk about him, I'm sure. Let us dismiss him.'
"'Well,' he replied, 'in a certain roundabout way it is slightly connected with him. That is really my excuse for inflicting the subject upon you. You are the only man I CAN speak to about it―if I shall not bore you?'
"'Not in the least,' I said. 'I am most interested.' As he still hesitated, I asked him point-blank what it was.
"He appeared embarrassed. 'It is really very absurd of me,' he said, while the faintest suspicion of pink crossed his usually colourless face; 'but I feel I must talk to somebody about it. The fact is, my dear Mac, I am in love.'
"'Capital!' I cried; 'I'm delighted to hear it.' (I thought it might make a man of him.) 'Do I know the lady?'
"'I am inclined to think you must have seen her,' he replied; 'she was with me on the pier at Yarmouth that evening you met me.'
"'Not 'Liza!' I exclaimed.
"'That was she,' he answered; 'Miss Elizabeth Muggins.' He dwelt lovingly upon the name.
"'But,' I said, 'you seemed―I really could not help noticing, it was so pronounced―you seemed to positively dislike her. Indeed, I gathered from your remark to a friend that her society was distinctly distasteful to you.'
"'To Smith,' he corrected me. 'What judge would that howling little blackguard be of a woman's worth! The dislike of such a man as that is a testimonial to her merit!'
"'I may be mistaken,' I said; 'but she struck me as a bit common.'
"'She is not, perhaps, what the world would call a lady,' he admitted; 'but then, my dear Mac, my opinion of the world is not such as to render ITS opinion of much value to me. I and the world differ on most subjects, I am glad to say. She is beautiful, and she is good, and she is my choice.'
"'She's a jolly enough little girl,' I replied, 'and, I should say, affectionate; but have you considered, Smythe, whether she is quite―what shall we say―quite as intellectual as could be desired?'
"'Really, to tell the truth, I have not troubled myself much about her intellect,' he replied, with one of his sneering smiles. 'I have no doubt that the amount of intellect absolutely necessary to the formation of a British home, I shall be able to supply myself. I have no desire for an intellectual wife. One is compelled to meet tiresome people, but one does not live with them if one can avoid it.'
"'No,' he continued, reverting to his more natural tone; 'the more I think of Elizabeth the more clear it becomes to me that she is the one woman in the world for whom marriage with me is possible. I perceive that to the superficial observer my selection must appear extraordinary. I do not pretend to explain it, or even to understand it. The study of mankind is beyond man. Only fools attempt it. Maybe it is her contrast to myself that attracts me. Maybe my, perhaps, too spiritual nature feels the need of contact with her coarser clay to perfect itself. I cannot tell. These things must always remain mysteries. I only know that I love her―that, if any reliance is to be placed upon instinct, she is the mate to whom Artemis is leading me.'
"It was clear that he was in love, and I therefore ceased to argue with him. 'You kept up your acquaintanceship with her, then, after you'―I was going to say 'after you ceased to be Smith,' but not wishing to agitate him by more mention of that person than I could help, I substituted, 'after you returned to the Albany?'
"'Not exactly,' he replied; 'I lost sight of her after I left Yarmouth, and I did not see her again until five days ago, when I came across her in an aerated bread shop. I had gone in to get a glass of milk and a bun, and SHE brought them to me. I recognised her in a moment.' His face lighted up with quite a human smile. 'I take tea there every afternoon now,' he added, glancing towards the clock, 'at four.'
"'There's not much need to ask HER views on the subject,' I said, laughing; 'her feelings towards you were pretty evident.'
"'Well, that is the curious part of it,' he replied, with a return to his former embarrassment; 'she does not seem to care for me now at all. Indeed, she positively refuses me. She says―to put it in the dear child's own racy language―that she wouldn't take me on at any price. She says it would be like marrying a clockwork figure without the key. She's more frank than complimentary, but I like that.'
"'Wait a minute,' I said; 'an idea occurs to me. Does she know of your identity with Smith?'
"'No,' he replied, alarmed, 'I would not have her know it for worlds. Only yesterday she told me that I reminded her of a fellow she had met at Yarmouth, and my heart was in my mouth.'
"'How did she look when she told you that?' I asked.
"'How did she look?' he repeated, not understanding me.
"'What was her expression at that moment?' I said―'was it severe or tender?'
"'Well,' he replied, 'now I come to think of it, she did seem to soften a bit just then.'
"'My dear boy,' I said, 'the case is as clear as day-light. She loves Smith. No girl who admired Smith could be attracted by Smythe. As your present self you will never win her. In a few weeks' time, however, you will be Smith. Leave the matter over until then. Propose to her as Smith, and she will accept you. After marriage you can break Smythe gently to her.'
"'By Jove!' he exclaimed, startled out of his customary lethargy, 'I never thought of that. The truth is, when I am in my right senses, Smith and all his affairs seem like a dream to me. Any idea connected with him would never enter my mind.'
"He rose and held out his hand. 'I am so glad I came to see you,' he said; 'your suggestion has almost reconciled me to my miserable fate. Indeed, I quite look forward to a month of Smith, now.'
"'I'm so pleased,' I answered, shaking hands with him. 'Mind you come and tell me how you get on. Another man's love affairs are not usually absorbing, but there is an element of interest about yours that renders the case exceptional.'
"We parted, and I did not see him again for another month. Then, late one evening, the servant knocked at my door to say that a Mr. Smith wished to see me.
"'Smith, Smith,' I repeated; 'what Smith? didn't he give you a card?'
"'No, sir,' answered the girl; 'he doesn't look the sort that would have a card. He's not a gentleman, sir; but he says you'll know him.' She evidently regarded the statement as an aspersion upon myself.
"I was about to tell her to say I was out, when the recollection of Smythe's other self flashed into my mind, and I directed her to send him up.
"A minute passed, and then he entered. He was wearing a new suit of a louder pattern, if possible, than before. I think he must have designed it himself. He looked hot and greasy. He did not offer to shake hands, but sat down awkwardly on the extreme edge of a small chair, and gaped about the room as if he had never seen it before.
"He communicated his shyness to myself. I could not think what to say, and we sat for a while in painful silence.