Suddenly one of the children—Mikeli, the sickly one—collapsed, falling to the floor with a strange mewing cry, his body jerking, foam at his mouth.
One of the maids ran to him, felt his face. “It’s the crisis!” she said. “He’s burning with fever. We must get him away from the others.” The others hurried over, warning the other children away; children cried out, all was bustle and confusion.
Dorrin watched, wondering which Verrakai was trying to transfer to the child, wondering how to stop it. A bolt of magery staggered her, then another.
It should have been impossible to use attack magery here in the shielded nursery—she’d trusted that shield. Now she felt the leaden weight of that attack; the two boys came toward her, smiling, their power beating at her. Dorrin fought it back, felt the weight ease. She could move; she could think—but what to think? What could she do here, in front of the others?
Trust the light. In her mind, the voice was firm but not harsh. Which light, though? Magery’s light was fire; Falk, after his years of toil, had burned out the prison in which he had been kept, cleansing it. Here were children she did not wish to burn. She did not have that other light, the light by which paladins revealed the truth of evil.
Trust me, then. But she still doubted. Was it Falk and the High Lord in her mind, or the Verrakai who had violated children’s bodies to take them over? An internal laugh, good-natured, without malice, answered her. Again she thought of Paksenarrion, and seemed to see a ruby centered in the circle she wore on her brow.
She had sworn her life to Falk. She had received her magery back from a paladin and Falk’s own Captain-General. With that thought she released whatever kept light from doing whatever Falk and the High Lord wanted. It burst from her, soundless, effortless, unconsuming and revealing. By that light, she saw the adult selves in the two boys nearest her and the girl squatting on the floor behind the others … that one pouring magery at Mikeli as he lay twitching across the room.
Saving him had to come first. Dorrin attacked full speed, disabling the other two with one blow each to the head. The other children fled screaming to the corners of the nursery, except for the little girl. She did not even look up, concentrating on Mikeli. Dorrin felled her with a blow, and turned to the maids now huddled protectively over the sick boy.
“These three were making Mikeli sick with magery,” she said. “I am taking them away. He may recover now.”
“But—but you—”
“He’s sweating,” one of the maids said. “He’s not as hot.”
“Stay here,” Dorrin said. She carried the little girl, now bleeding from mouth and nose, over her shoulder, and managed to pick up the others and get them out of the room. She shut the door, took a breath, looked around. What now?
Out of the house. No more killing blood here.
Dorrin called for Selfer and explained. “We must kill them—they are not children, but adults using children’s bodies—but we must not kill them in the house. Too much blood here already.”
“They’re so little,” he said. “Can it really be—” He looked at her face and then nodded. “You are sure; that’s enough for me. Do you want someone else to do it?”
“No. I must.” She sighed. “I hate it, but it is my inheritance. I am the legitimate duke—and every duke I know of killed, and killed family members. That is not power I ever wanted to inherit.”
“What about the orchard? That is a fruit orchard isn’t it? Alyanya’s preserve, a place of peace?”
“We can hope,” Dorrin said.
Together they wrapped the little limp bodies in linens and carried them out of the house to the orchard, and Dorrin cut their throats. A detail of Phelani dug the graves at one end; it did not take long, since the bodies were so small. Selfer spoke a Girdish prayer for their rest, and Dorrin spoke both the Falkian prayers and the traditional Verrakaien farewell.
As they walked back up the orchard paths, Selfer said “Children! How could they use children so?”
“I know. It’s disgusting in ways I can’t even describe. Those children—the real children—having their lives taken away …”
“I was never convinced the Verrakai were evil until I saw this,” Selfer said. “I knew you—fought beside you—and if anything you were more committed to good than even Kieri—the king.”
“I had memories of this place, and the fear that I would become like them,” Dorrin said.
“Not you,” Selfer said. “Ever.”
“Now that I have the power, I feel its temptations,” Dorrin said. “Anyone with power, magical or not, Selfer. You’re a captain now—has it started for you, yet? You speak and others obey … how does that feel?” She kept her voice light; Selfer had been a good squire and junior captain.
He said nothing for a few paces, then: “I know what you’re speaking of. And when I was first a squire, I thought how grand it must be, to have a cohort or a whole company at my command. I felt a thrill of pride, even though I had no right. But the Duke taught me, you taught me, all you captains, that being a commander was not about that. Do I like it, when the cohort does what I command? Yes, of course. But I must command well, for that pleasure to be … to be honorable. It isn’t all about me.”
Dorrin punched him lightly on the shoulder. “So I thought. You are a good captain, Selfer, and we’ve all seen that coming as you grew into it. But there are temptations at every level of power, temptations to take the easy way. Even Kieri—even the king, that last year in Aarenis.”
Selfer nodded, then said, “I didn’t know what to do.”
“Wasn’t anything you could do. We captains couldn’t do anything; he was beyond reason for a while. He dragged himself back from being even worse. But anytime you have power, you will have temptations. You know that; always remember it. We are not gods; we make mistakes, we judge wrongly. If you can keep in mind ‘I might be wrong’—”
“But doesn’t that slow your thinking in emergencies?”
“Indeed.” Dorrin kicked at a withered pear on the ground. “It nearly killed me, just now. Trust the gods, trust your experience of Gird, but when you have time, don’t trust yourself too much.” She stopped; Selfer slowed and turned to face her. “It’s not easy, Selfer—it’s not ever easy, or it wasn’t for me. But if I can do what the prince wants, what the realm needs, what the honest remnants of Verrakai need—it will be by my understanding that I am not always right, and my willingness to admit that, face the consequences, and go on trying.”
“I would wonder if it was easier for paladins, had I not seen Paksenarrion’s face,” Selfer said. “When I was a boy, I heard of them and wanted to be one …”
Dorrin walked on. “So did I. But it was made clear to me, in my time in Falk’s Hall, that I was not.” Another few steps. “We have our own tasks, Selfer. When I knew Kieri Phelan in Falk’s Hall—”
“You knew him then? You never said—”
She shrugged. “No reason. He was older by a few years. I admired him greatly; many of us did. The commander of our year spoke highly of him as someone who had followed Falk’s path of service—he’d been with Aliam Halveric, as you know—and then through his own merits had been accepted into training.”
“Was he the same?”
“Yes … not exactly.” Dorrin felt her cheeks heating. Like the other young women in her class, she had found him handsome beyond bearing; they had discussed him, in their dormitory, when they thought the sergeants could not hear. Those tough older women had no patience with girlish chatter. From his flaming red hair to the broad-shouldered, fit body, the shapely legs, the … she forced that memory back. “When he was young,” she said instead, “he was already a natural leader, and he’d been to the wars with Aliam. No one else had actual fighting experience. He had most of us students wrapped around his finger; everyone wanted to be him, or be near him, or both.”