“Am I causing you pain?”
She licked her lips to wet them. He’d whispered the words in a husky tone. She studied his gaze, not seeing regret in his stare but she wasn’t sure what he felt either. He was too good at hiding his emotions.
“No.”
“I swell at the base of my dick.”
“I know. I’ve heard that would happen.”
He blinked. “It will go down in a few minutes.”
“I know that too.”
His cock flexed inside her and her vaginal muscles quivered from the aftereffects of climaxing. His gaze narrowed as she softly moaned again.
“Why?”
“Why did I shiver? Body reaction. Sorry. I can’t help it any more than you can.”
Full lips twisted into a frown. “I’m not talking about that. Why this way?”
No, she inwardly whispered. Don’t regret this.
I can’t take the guilt I’m going to feel. “What did you think would happen when you decided to perform oral sex on me?”
He lowered his body over her, used his elbows to hold his weight enough to prevent him from smothering her, but she was pinned under him.
He stared at her face with a grim expression.
Shit. She closed her eyes. He regretted what they’d done and it hurt. What did you expect?
He’s all messed up inside. He tried to call a halt to this but you locked around him like a drowning idiot intent on taking him down too. She pushed her voice of conscience back, knowing she needed to face the consequences.
“This isn’t natural.”
That statement stunned her enough for her eyes to pop open to gawp at him. “What?”
“This is wrong.”
Her hands shifted and she pushed on his chest, forgetting they were locked together. “Get off me then.”
“I can’t.”
She remembered then that his penis had locked inside her and looked anywhere but at him. With him on top of her and his chest so wide, her view was limited. She turned her head to stare at the closed door. It mocked her once again, knowing she never should have entered his room.
She had no one to blame but herself. He wasn’t responsible for his actions, probably was reeling from all he’d been through.
“I’m so sorry,” she got out, her throat wanting to close around the lump that formed there. “Let me go as soon as the swelling reduces and I’ll leave. This is totally my fault, 880.” She refused to look at him still. “You’re not to blame, okay? I want you to remember and know that. I take full responsibility.”
“I am no longer 880. I am Species and will be called Obsidian.” Anger darkened his eyes as they narrowed. “What do you mean by taking responsibility? What fault are you speaking of?”
Alli knew she gawked as her gaze focused on his face. It was just that the shocks kept coming one after another. She’s woken to him going down on her and they’d had sex. He regretted it and now he had taken a name. Her sluggish mind tried to catch up, working to think about the one he’d chosen.
“Obsidian?”
“Yes. Good.” Some of the tension left his features. “Call me that. No more numbers. Mercile no longer controls my life.”
Obsidian. She tried to think of the definition.
A lot of Species preferred to take a name that had meaning to them. “Isn’t that a lava rock or something along those lines?”
He growled. “It fits me. I am burning inside and hardened by the life I was given. Darkness was taken as a name already. So were a lot of the names I wanted. This fits me. Do you question it?”
“It wasn’t an insult.” She hadn’t meant it that way. “You’re burning inside?”
“I feel rage.” His voice turned into a snarl.
“Humans took my life away.”
“I didn’t,” she quickly reminded him, suddenly feeling very vulnerable and small pinned under him.
“They killed 46.”
His mate. She swallowed hard and her hands rubbed his skin in an attempt to calm him a little.
“Obsidian,” she whispered. “Please take a deep breath. I just asked a question. I’m not your enemy.”
His gaze lowered to her still-bare breasts where her shirt had been pushed up. “I am not so certain.”
It hurt. Deeply. Alli blinked rapidly to hide the tears that filled her eyes. How could things go so wrong so fast? She’d been sleeping and then she’d woken to his mouth. It had all been a haze of passion and need until they faced the aftermath of what they’d done together. He regretted it and worse, he seemed not to even like her much if he were comparing her to Mercile.
“Your swelling should be over. Will you please let me up?”
“No.” He settled more of his weight over her, pinned her tighter to the bed. His temper did seem to dissipate somewhat as his tone turned from gruff to husky. “Explain responsibility and why you feel it.”
“It means this is my fault. What happened between us just now is something I should have avoided. You’ve gone through a lot and I don’t want you to feel bad for having sex with me.”
“It felt really good.” He inched his face closer to stare deeply into her eyes. “I woke to your scent and I wanted to taste. I did this. You didn’t manipulate me, Alli. You have no power over what I do.”
“You are wrong. I—” He suddenly thrust into her deep, making her moan. His cock was still hard but the swelling had subsided enough that he could move inside her again without the intense pressure. His mouth parted to flash his sharp fangs at her as he withdrew almost from her before he drove back into her again. He froze.
“You don’t tell me what to do, Alli. Can you stop me? Force me to move from your body?
Who is responsible? Tell me.”
He meant to show her who was in control and she knew it.
“I could take you again for hours and you’d be powerless to stop me. Your body would have to take mine as long as I want.”
She was going to go to hell. A small part of her mind admitted that because it didn’t sound bad at all if he fucked her over and over. She’d be sore later since she’d not had sex in such a long time but he felt so good she didn’t care about consequences. It was all about the here and now to her.
She wanted him.
His hips rolled and he found the spot inside her that made her breath catch. His nose brushed hers as he drew even closer. “Who is responsible?”
“You.”
Something flickered in his eyes before he pulled away and lifted his chest from hers. He separated their bodies slowly, almost regretfully, and it forced her to release his waist from the grip of her legs. She glanced at his cock and couldn’t help but appreciate the sight of how aroused he still seemed to be.
“Go shower.”
She met his gaze as he backed away from her on his hands and knees until he slid off the end of the bed to stand.
“Now, Alli.” He looked angry again. “Otherwise I will lose what control I have left.”
She sat up and shoved her shirt down to hide as much of her body from him as possible. “What does that mean?”
He stepped to the side to clear a path from the bed to the bathroom. “Go,” he demanded.
Something in the intense way he looked at her made her inch down the bed. There was a hint of danger in the air that she could sense. She just wasn’t sure why. He looked angry though. The floor of the room was chilly to her bare feet after having them pressed against his warm body. Her legs were shaking as she took hesitant steps toward the open doorway to the shower.
A hand shot out and gripped her upper arm.
Alli stared at him with dread and fear. He closed his eyes as he deeply inhaled. A soft, animalistic sound came from his parted lips and he licked them. The hold on her forearm eased until he let go.