“I don’t regret what I’ve done but you will when you finally come to grips with everything that has happened. You’re free now and your entire world is different. You’re strong, Obsidian.
You don’t need me as a crutch to bridge you through this. You’ll get past your anger, the grief will set in, but then the healing will begin. You are going to be fine in the end. I believe that with my whole heart.” She took a deep breath. “I’m only hindering that process by being here and I need to return to my house. We both have things to deal with on our own.”
His grip on her eased and he let go. She released him too and stepped back to put a little space between them. “This is really for the best,” she whispered, hoping she’d believe it and so would he. “Just take one day at a time. I know what it feels like when someone you love dies but you’ll survive losing your mate. It really hurts but I promise that it will get better. One day you’ll wake up and your heart won’t be broken anymore.”
He said nothing, his face frozen in that grim expression. She slowly turned away and fled the bathroom. Her bag beckoned to her and she bent to open it, planning to get dressed. Instead an arm hooked around her waist and she was lifted off her feet. A gasp was all she managed before experiencing the sickening feeling of being airborne.
She bounced when she landed on the soft bed, shocked that Obsidian had thrown her at least five feet across the room. Nothing hurt but the shock factor held her still until her brain could catch up. The mattress dipped, moved, and then weight pressed over her back where she lay sprawled on her stomach facedown. He caged her with his body.
“I refuse to let you go.”
Fear shot through her as his hot breath fanned her ear. The towel had slipped to her waist and his chest plastered against her back.
“Obsidian, get off me.” Her voice shook.
He shifted his position over her and a big hand cupped her ass, rubbing. “I want you.”
“Stop it!” Her head snapped in his direction and she stared at him. “You’re scaring me. Do you get that?”
“I won’t hurt you, Alli.”
The sound of her name coming from his lips in that gruff tone made some of her fear ease. He was engaging in conversation and addressing her personally, something she figured he wouldn’t do if he couldn’t be reasoned with or had lost control. “You just tossed me halfway across a room.
That is not acceptable behavior!”
“The bed won’t hurt you. I wouldn’t have done it if I thought I’d miss.”
“You are missing the point. I want to leave and you can’t force me to stay here against my will.”
“I could but I will change your mind instead.”
The big hand on her ass massaged. “You will want me too. Calm and roll over. I want to taste you.”
She didn’t flip when he lifted off her to give her enough room to reposition. He sat back on his bent legs, waiting and watching her with beautiful dark eyes. His tongue darted out to wet his lips and she had to admit part of her was tempted.
The memory of how talented he was with oral sex made her libido spark some interest.
“No.” She tugged on the towel, raised it higher and curled onto her side to get a better view of him. “I’m not here for you to fuck at will just so you can avoid the reality of your situation.”
He frowned. “What does that mean?”
“You want to use sex as a way of avoiding facing the pain of losing your mate.”
His gaze drifted downward to linger over the curve of her ass. “I want you because you make me hard and you do things to me that are good.
46 has nothing to do with that.”
“She has everything to do with this. You need to grieve instead of trying to make me her replacement. You can’t just switch out people like T-shirts. I’m Dr. Allison Ann Baker. I’m thirtytwo years old and my favorite color is blue.”
Tears threatened but she blinked them back. “I deserve someone who wants me.”
Obsidian very slowly leaned forward and his palms settled on the bed next to her. He crawled forward but he didn’t touch her as he brought his face closer until his intense gaze hovered inches above her own.
“I understand what you said.” His chest expanded as he took a deep breath. “There is not one thing about you that reminds me of her.”
His voice deepened as he glanced at her hair.
“You are light where she was dark. Soft and so strange.” He held her gaze. “You are small, weak, and scare easily. She would have clawed me, bitten me and drawn blood by now. You huddle to appear smaller, attempting to escape my attention or perhaps gain my sympathy. She was a fierce fighter but you don’t know how to hit. Claw your hands and use your nails to inflict damage next time you wish to strike me. Smooth teeth would still hurt if you bite hard enough.”
Alli wasn’t sure if she should feel insulted or scared but one thing was for certain. His words wounded her. She wondered if he’d not only used her for sex but as a way to find retribution against the idiots who’d kept him locked up all his life.
The monsters who had killed his mate were out of his reach but she’d willingly agreed to stay in his room.
He peered down at her, perhaps waiting for a response, but he wasn’t getting one. She didn’t know what to say.
“My mate didn’t like me.” Emotion akin to pain flashed in his eyes. “She didn’t touch me unless she was in need and even then she never stroked my skin or slept against my side unless it was really cold or she was too drugged to move away when they brought her to me sick. I would hold her to give comfort.” He took a deep breath.
“She endured me and we learned to do tasks for each other in mutual need. She was mine and I was hers but she didn’t want to be with me. There was another male from before that she wanted.
They forced her into my room.” He withdrew from her physically and climbed off the bed. “I live with the knowledge that I never had deep feelings for her either. We weren’t true mates but instead forced together.”
The image he’d created in her mind was a heartbreaking one. She sat up, staring at him as he inched backward toward the bathroom. A thousand questions battled in her stunned mind while she tried to determine which one to ask first. The only thing she could piece together was that his mate had known someone before Obsidian and she must have loved him to reject any emotional tie to the attractive man before her. It had made their relationship cold and unfeeling.
“I did something to cause her death but I don’t know what it was. I must live with the guilt of how I failed her. You are not to replace 46. I am strangely drawn to you but I am free.” He snarled, flashing sharp teeth, as his hands fisted at his sides. “I will not hold another female to my side who doesn’t want me. There are no locks on these doors. Go, Alli. Flee.”
The last thing she wanted to do at that moment was to leave him. He was clearly upset and she couldn’t imagine how it would feel to be forced to live with someone who obviously had treated him badly. He’d mentioned violence when he said his mate hit him. Another set of questions arose, wondering exactly how dysfunctional their relationship had been.
“You didn’t cause her death.”
“They killed her in front of me as punishment.”
“They were assholes, Obsidian. They stole you, your mate and the two other New Species from Mercile to try to make money off you.
They—”
“You wanted to leave. Go!”
She wiggled enough to reach the edge of the bed and clutched the towel to keep it covering her as she stood on wobbly legs. Though he grew increasingly irate, she couldn’t leave him in that state.
“Some people are just cruel and the ones working for Mercile lacked moral compasses, Obsidian. They didn’t kill 46 because of anything you did or didn’t do. They probably just didn’t want to pay to feed her anymore. They knew they had arrest warrants on them and they couldn’t go home. That means they were desperate and low on money. Maybe they killed her to get even with all they felt they’d lost by pinning the blame on New Species but it was their own fault. Never yours. You were a victim and so was she.”