“I say this often. Do you understand?”
He didn’t wait for a response but bent, released her hand, and hooked her in his arms. She gasped when he lifted her against his chest and stalked into the kitchen. He half expected her to punch him but she just watched him warily. He paused by the long island in the center of the kitchen and deposited her there.
“What is the first thing I need to be taught to prepare food?”
“You really want to ignore this argument and pretend nothing is wrong?”
His patience was gone as he spun to grab her hips, jerking her to the edge of the counter to go nose to nose with her to stare deeply into her eyes as he bent a little to make them even in height.
“You are mine! There is nothing to fight about. I will win.”
Her hand lifted and he tensed, expecting a slap.
He didn’t block it. She wasn’t strong enough to really harm him but he feared he might bruise her tender skin if he threw up his arm. No pain stung his cheek. Her fingers slid into his hair and wrapped around the back of his neck.
“Listen to me. You will regret this and I can’t take that.”
“You make no sense.”
Tears swam in her eyes. “I love you.”
His heart stuttered and he forgot how to breathe.
“I’m in love with you and that’s why I can’t allow you to make a mistake this big.” Those tears spilled over her lower lids and slid down her face.
“I would do anything for you and I wish I really was the one you wanted to spend the rest of your life with.” She took a shaky breath while he did too. “This is too fast though and you have no idea what is out there or what your future could be like if you weren’t tied to me.”
“I want you.” All his instincts clamored to claim her, kiss her and mount her. He didn’t care in what order. She loved him. He knew what that meant. It meant her heart belonged to him as well as her body.
“A selfish person would sign those papers and keep you. Don’t think I’m not tempted.” More tears fell and she cleared her throat after her voice broke. “You have no idea how much I want to just hold on to you and never let go.”
He tried to kiss her but her hand fisted to painfully pull the hair at the base of his head. He growled.
“I. Love. You.” She paused. “That’s why I can’t allow you to lock yourself to me. You need time and freedom to be sure I’m the one you want. Tell me in six months that you want me to be your mate and I’ll type out the forms myself.
We’ll frame them over our bed.”
“You are mine.”
Alli was falling apart inside as emotions raged.
Everything in her screamed to shut up and allow him to kiss her. It would be so easy to say yes and just sign the papers. She’d be at his side when he ventured out into Homeland. All the women like Kit could look and wish he were available but he’d be hers.
He might fall in love with me, her heart argued but her head knew how unfair it would be to lock him to her so early in their relationship. In a matter of days he was willing to make a lifelong commitment. So am I though, that little voice whispered.
Reason was a bitch and dates with other men played through her mind, a memory montage like This Is Your Life. She knew Obsidian was one in a million. She had slept with a couple of guys and had the life experience to be sure that he was who she wanted. All Obsidian had to compare her with were memories of a mate he claimed was forced to be his. No other woman had even kissed him.
Jealousy reared its ugly head when she just considered him putting his lips on someone else’s mouth. She pushed away unwanted thoughts of the other things he’d do with them, unable to stand the agony of picturing him in bed with a woman. He deserved a chance to know what his options were before he committed to a lifetime with the first woman he met after gaining his freedom.
“You’re mine,” he rasped.
And she wanted him to be hers. “I’m not saying no. We just need to slow things down.”
“You’re not leaving me.”
She didn’t want that either. “I’ll stay but no mate papers. You can ask me in six months.”
“That is a long time.”
It would feel like an eternity. “I want us both to be sure this is what will make you happy and it’s what you really want.”
“I know already.”
He looked so certain that her resistance began to melt. Don’t, she warned herself. Love him enough to do the right thing. Her fisted hold on the fine hairs of his neck loosened. “Humor me.”
“There is nothing amusing about you refusing to mate with me.”
“I mean, just give yourself some time so we’re both sure of this.”
“You are the one who is saying no.” He said the words gruffly, obviously a little angry.
“I want to say yes but I never want you to feel trapped by me or unhappy. It would break my heart to lose you that way.”
“Mates are forever.”
“That’s why I’m insisting we wait.”
“You belong to me, Alli.”
The sad way he said her name tore her apart.
He honestly didn’t seem to understand the sacrifice she made by being strong enough to say no.
“We’ll wait until you settle into the men’s dorm and meet more Species. Adjust to being free and the new world you’re in before you make that kind of serious decision.”
“They aren’t taking you away from me. We will move into the men’s dorm together.”
She no longer would have a home once the new doctor arrived, nor was she sure if she’d be allowed to stay on at Homeland if she wasn’t Obsidian’s official mate. “I need to use the phone to make some calls.”
“Why?”
She didn’t want him to freak out by mentioning it was possible that she’d be escorted off NSO land if they didn’t sign the papers. “I need to go over a few things with Justice or Fury. I have my stuff packed up but don’t know where it should go.” That wasn’t a lie but it wasn’t fully the truth either.
“It will go where you go, with me.”
Everything was black and white to him. It reinforced her belief that she was doing the right thing. Life wasn’t that simple. He’d learn that once the boundaries of his world were expanded.
“I’ll fix you lunch and make those calls while you eat.”
“You aren’t hungry?”
“No. I can’t eat as much as you do.”
He eased away from her and she released him, slipping off the edge of the island. “We’ll work on your cooking skills later. How about some sandwiches? I have chips too.”
Obsidian shadowed her as she prepared his early lunch. It was a good thing New Species provided groceries because it would cost a fortune to feed him in the outside world. Alli left him in the kitchen at the counter to go into her bedroom.
Her hands shook as she called the main office and asked to be transferred to Justice’s office.
They put her right through to him.
“Allison? What can I do for you?”
“I’m really sorry about Obsidian’s behavior.”
“He’s newly freed. We expect aggression. You shouldn’t get between males in that situation. I could have handled him.”
She didn’t doubt that Justice North could fight but she didn’t want Obsidian to be hurt or worse, sent to Reservation. He wasn’t naturally antisocial but just hadn’t learned how to get along with others yet. “I wanted to talk to you about the mate papers.”
“They are being prepared and should arrive within the hour.”
She hesitated, debating her words carefully as she spoke softly, hoping her voice didn’t carry to the other room. “It’s too soon. He doesn’t understand that he has a lot more options than just being with me.”