She took in his engorged head, rolling it past her lips. She sucked his wet cock into her mouth, as much as she could take. Her slim fingers fisted the base of him that she couldn’t swallow. He flattened one hand against the shower wall and fisted his other hand in the wet tangle of her hair.
She sucked him like she would take everything from him. His balls pulled tight and he knew he wouldn’t last much longer.
He tried to pull her to her feet. “Huntley, enough.”
She ignored him, sucking harder, her free hand coming up to cup his balls. He was lost. He moved his hips, fucking her mouth. She made a moan of approval. Her tongue glided along the underside of his dick, and he was done. He came, losing himself with a cry, and her mouth took all of him, wringing every lost drop from him.
He pulled her up by her arms, feeling dazed. “Huntley.”
She stared at him, her eyes glassy, and he knew she felt it, too. That this thing between them was good. Scary good.
She scraped some wet tendrils back from her cheek. “I never really understood why women did that. I never liked it, but that … with you.” Her eyes glowed. “I loved it.”
His chest squeezed. He brushed a thumb over her cheek and turned her around, finishing washing her body and then himself, his movements brusque, perfunctory. He didn’t say another word as they stepped from the shower and dressed again.
It would have made sense to leave after that. To say good night and part ways. They both had work early the following morning. It would have made sense to kiss her goodbye and chalk this up as reckless, crazy hot sex. Instead, he borrowed her toothbrush, flipped off the light and climbed into bed beside her, pulling her close to his side.
He would worry about what made sense later.
* * *
Huntley woke in the dark. She blinked for a moment, knowing something was off. It took another moment for her to remember she wasn’t alone. The events of the night flooded over her and her body tingled, deliciously sore and tender from sex. Sex with Cullen. Cullen who still slept beside her.
She turned her head, her hand reaching out to touch his bare shoulder. He muttered something and tossed his head, a low wretched sound coming from him. She knew the sound. She had heard the sounds of grief working many a late-night shift in the ER.
“Cullen,” she whispered, hoping to ease him from his bad dream. A dream she was certain was rooted in the loss of Xander.
His eyes opened at his name, a soldier accustomed to waking instantly. Pain glazed his eyes. The kind of pain that he never let anyone glimpse during daylight hours. Now with his defenses down, she saw right into him. Through him. He couldn’t hide his ghosts from her.
She reached out a hand and stroked his jaw, conveying that she was here for him. She understood, and she would always be there. He never had to be alone. If he would just let—
He snatched her wrists, tense lines bracketing his mouth. He held her wrists between them, his grip as fierce as his glittering gaze.
She stared back, questioning, unsure. “Cullen, are you all right?”
He dropped his hands from her wrists. His chest rose and fell several times before answering. “I guess I am taking Xander’s death hard.”
Her pulse skittered at this admission from him. He was talking to her. Actually opening up about what was going on behind his carefully constructed barriers.
“I know.”
“I just can’t stop wondering what if. What if I had been a better instructor? Halfway through the program Xander came to me expressing doubts. What if I hadn’t pushed him to stick with it? I just feel like I failed him. My old man never wanted me to go into EOD.” He laughed and the sound was raw with pain. “He said I didn’t have the right temperament for it. He said I’d fuck up. I didn’t listen to him.”
“He was wrong, Cullen. You didn’t fail. You did your job.” She tossed onto her side to better face him. “Xander was a human being with free will. He made his own choices, and he wouldn’t have stuck it out if he didn’t want to.”
“Yeah, that’s my fucking ego, I guess, thinking I matter so much.”
“No.” Her voice fell hard. “It’s not ego. You were his friend. Of course you mattered to him, but you’re not God. You weren’t responsible for his fate, and I know he’s looking down at you now, wanting you to believe that.” In the darkness, she could make out the gleam of his eyes as he studied her.
“God, you’re too nice. Can there be any girl as sweet as you?”
She frowned. “I’m not sweet.”
She’d always been the sweet girl. Predictable. In fact, the only unpredictable thing she ever did was leave Georgia. Of course, she had only done that to get away from Jackson. Everyone assumed they’d get back together. Get married and have the requisite two kids. It was almost as though she feared that happening, so she ran across the country to avoid that fate.
“Sweeter than most girls…” His voice faded, and she knew what he was thinking. Sweeter than most girls I sleep with.
She was well acquainted with his normal type of female. Most were Army groupies eager for a meaningless fuck. She wasn’t that. This wasn’t meaningless for her. He had to know that even without her saying it. He knew her too well.
His hand shifted on her back again, stroking softly. “You deserve so much, Huntley.”
“So do you,” she countered, her chest aching, almost hurting because she knew he didn’t believe that of himself. Especially not carrying the burden of Xander’s death. “Some day you’ll realize that.”
She only hoped it wouldn’t be too late before he realized that a part of that better fate he deserved could be a future with her.
“I don’t want to hurt you.”
“You won’t.” She touched his face again, and he reached up to hold her wrists.
“You’re a good man, Cullen.” He needed to hear this. He needed to believe it. He’d been listening to his father call him a fuck-up for years. And now he was blaming himself for what happened to Xander. He needed to know someone believed in him—that she did.
He stared at her for a long moment before releasing her wrists. He shoved his hand between her thighs, nudging them apart, sending the question on her lips and her thoughts scattering.
He knuckled her panties aside without a word and plunged a finger inside her. She gasped as he worked her with a few strokes until she was wet.
He withdrew his hand and rolled onto his back, pulling her on top of him. Still holding her panties to the side, he thrust inside her. She cried out, straddling and impaled on him, the sensation tottering the edge of pain and pleasure.
He gripped her waist and guided her with his big hands, practically lifting her up and down until she gained her own rhythm and could move. But even that wasn’t enough for him. Not in his present state.
With a growl, he rolled her over onto her knees, hauling her bottom up and pulling her back flush against him. He rubbed his head along her crease, playing in her moist folds for a moment before driving into her again.
She whimpered, an orgasm swelling at the first plunge. Her sex clenched around his thickness. She’d never been taken from behind like this, and the position pushed down on her sweet spot. OhGodOhGod! His every thrust stroked along that bundle of nerves and she shuddered, shattering under him.
Her muscles turned to jelly and her body went limp, giving out under him, but he wasn’t having it. His grip on her hips tightened and he hauled her back up, holding her for his hammering cock.
One of his hands skated up the slope of her back and curled around her shoulder, anchoring her for him as he fucked her hard. He was a beast. It felt desperate and primal. And she loved it. She was so wet she could hear the slick glide of him working in and out of her. A second orgasm swelled before the tremors from her first had even subsided.
They climaxed simultaneously. He slammed into her with a last grind of his pelvis, his cock pulsing as he released inside her.