Sometimes... I think there are moments when Rowan wants to give in to her feelings. I can’t describe it but it’s a look we share. I feel we are on the verge of connecting but then her words come back to haunt me.
I’m not brave enough to want it the way you do.
When the memory of those words penetrate my brain, I push myself away and try to shield my heart. I make myself be brave for Rowan, because she is the one that has suffered in the past, and like I said, I’m willing to wait for her to come around.
This club is packed and it’s like one seething, waving mass of bodies on the dance floor. Luckily, Emily, Fil, and Rowan are dancing near the edge so Nix and I can keep an eye on them. In fact, Nix all but demanded to Emily she stay within his line of sight, to which she just snorted at him and walked away without a backward glance.
However, I notice she did what he asked and I’m sure it’s because Emily had been attacked by a guy that couldn’t take no for an answer at a nightclub before Nix came to her rescue. Thus, she’s being respectful of his worry and gives him what he wants. I suppose relationships are supposed to be like that, right? It’s about trying to give the other person what they want without sacrificing too much of yourself. In return, the other person does the same for you.
I think in today’s day and age, we call that compromise.
The throng of people actually pulses as a whole, looking like a massive, beating heart under the disco lights. But then I focus on Rowan, and everything else ceases to exist. My girl loves to dance, and yes, I’m aware I just referred to her as my girl again. And she’s fucking good at it. Her body moves with a natural rhythm and she undulates her hips in a way that is like a walking orgasm. The only problem is, that show isn’t just for me and every horny male within eyesight of Rowan dances their way toward her.
I curl my fingers into my palms and dig in, trying to force my attention away from her, and one particular looking sleaze bag who is staring at her ass while he pumps his hips back and forth behind her. I swear... if he touches her, I’ll go ballistic and knock his teeth down the back of his throat.
Just as the douche is getting ready to touch her, I start to stand up from the table. But then I watch in amazement as Fil intercepts the guy and gets right up in his face. I obviously cannot hear what she’s saying but she is laying into him. He looks pissed at first but the longer she yells at him, the more his shoulders sag and I swear he looks like he might cry. He finally turns around and slinks off.
Fil merely turns around and starts dancing again, as if nothing happened.
Leaning over, I yell at Nix. “Looks like you weren’t needed tonight, buddy. Fil apparently can keep Em and Rowan safe.”
Nix smirks at me. “Yeah. I’ll deny it if you say anything but I’m a little afraid of her.”
We both turn back to the dance floor, watching the women work it, and I have a hard time keeping my eyes off Rowan.
After several songs, they return to the table—which apparently it’s the men’s job to protect—and order more drinks. We’ve been here a few hours and all of us are sporting a nice buzz. It won’t be too long before it’s time to leave.
The music is so loud there is no way to have a discussion amongst the group because you have to yell at the person sitting next to you just to be heard. Rowan is sitting to my right but she’s turned her back to me, talking to Fil.
That’s fine by me because I’m being treated to a lovely view of her upper back, since her hair only comes down to the top of her shoulders. Her skin looks smooth and creamy, and with the flashing lights bouncing off, it’s practically hypnotizing.
Nix leans back over to me and yells loud enough that thankfully only I can hear. “Rowan and Fil seem to be getting along great.”
I nod. This was the first time they had met but they seemed to become fast friends. It makes me wonder if Rowan would have been so open with her just a few short months ago, and I tend to think not. But that could be my ego talking, because I think part of her ability to be open with people stems from her finally giving me some of her trust.
“Maybe they’re interested in each other,” Nix yells into my ear, leaning just a little bit closer so for sure no one can hear.
I’m startled by his comment and I turn my head to look at Rowan and Fil.
No way! I mean, Fil is admittedly one-hundred-percent, out-of-the-closet gay, but there is no way Rowan is.
And I tell Nix that with certainty. “You’re wrong, man.”
Nix just shrugs and then says, “I bet you ten bucks that Fil will ask her to dance when the music turns slow.”
“You’re fucking high, Nix. You’re so misreading that.”
Nix just smirks at me and leans back in his chair, watching the two women talk. I see what he sees now... intimate smiles, Fil laying her hand on Rowan’s arm when she says something funny.
What the fuck? Is Fil hitting on Rowan?
I can’t believe I’m getting jealous over the prospect. I glance back at Nix. He’s grinning at me and I can’t figure out if he’s pulling my leg or not.
I’m vaguely aware that the music idles to a snail’s pace crawl and I see Fil start to stand from her chair in slow motion.
She’s actually going to ask Rowan to dance.
Before I can even fathom what I’m doing, I stand quickly, knocking my chair back into the next table over and reach down for Rowan’s hand. Pulling her from the table, I say, “Let’s dance.”
Fil smiles at us and yells over the music, “You kids are so cute. I’m heading to the bathroom because I’m about to burst. Anyone want anything while I’m up?”
We both shake our heads and watch her go. Then Rowan takes the lead and heads toward the dance floor. I shoot a quick glance back at Nix and he has his hand over his mouth, hiding the fact he’s laughing at me.
Fucker!
Oh, well... at least I’m going to dance with Rowan.
When we hit the dance floor, I don’t waste time letting her lead us too far in. I pull back on her arm and she turns, stepping easily into me. She lays her hands briefly on my chest, and then runs them up over my shoulders until she links them behind my neck. Mine naturally circle around her waist and I pull her in as close as I can without mashing our bodies together.
I have the swirl of good liquor in me, soft music playing, and a beautiful girl that my heart pines for in my arms. This is a recipe for disaster... or triumph, depending on how you look at it.
“What are you thinking?” Rowan asks.
“You don’t want to know,” I tell her with a mischievous smile.
Rowan leans her forehead into my chest and her shoulders shake with laughter. When she looks back up at me, her eyes are bright. Her tongue darts out and licks her lower lip, and its wetness reflects the flashing lights around us. It is taking all of my willpower not to lean in and grab her lip my teeth.
“Want to know what I’m thinking?” she asks with a flirty giggle. She punctuates the question with a tiny hiccup, which starts her laughing again.
“Are you drunk, young lady?” I ask, pretending to be indignant.
Her eyes are silver pools of light as she smiles at me. “Maybe a little. So, want to know what I’m thinking?”
I do... God, I do, so I nod at her. I want to know—especially if it’s dirty and she’ll let me sneak in just one kiss before we need to be all responsible and respect the friendship.
Rowan tugs on my neck and my head lowers. She stands on her tiptoes and places her mouth near my ear, which also fortuitously pushes her breasts into my chest. “I’m thinking I want you to kiss me, Flynn. And I want it to be hard, and hot, and wet. That’s what I’m thinking.” She ends the statement by flicking her tongue out so it just catches me on the tip of my ear.