“Same old, same old,” Liz told her.
Victoria narrowed her eyes. “Don’t bullshit me. I know something is going on.”
“What’s going on, Vic?” Liz asked, deflecting.
“I don’t know,” she admitted. “But something.”
Liz shrugged. She wanted to tell Victoria about Brady, but she couldn’t. They had gotten through two months without being caught. She wasn’t about to jeopardize that by telling anyone what was happening.
“Does this have to do with Hayden?” Victoria asked, taking a shot in the dark. “I mean, I know that you’ve liked him for a long time. You’re going to see him soon, right?”
“Yeah, next weekend I’m going up there. I’m kind of nervous about it. I mean, he was so strange around me before he left, but he still wants me to come visit. I can’t read him. I don’t think he has feelings for me, but then sometimes he says things and I think he does. I’m just not on the same page with him.”
“Well, then it’s good that you’re going up there. I can tell he likes you. I think you guys have just been apart all summer, and then when you’re together again it’ll all come back,” Victoria told her.
Liz’s stomach twisted at the thought. She didn’t want everything with Hayden to suddenly come back. She didn’t know what that would be like. With her feelings for Brady swirling around in her head, she couldn’t imagine going to see Hayden and dealing with that. Then why was she going to visit him? She didn’t have a good answer for that except that she had agreed to…and she still wanted to see him.
“Maybe,” Liz said, not wanting to concede.
“I think you should just fuck him and stop worrying about it,” Victoria said flippantly.
Liz shook her head. There was no way she was going there with this conversation. Not that she and Brady were open about their relationship, but she couldn’t sleep with someone else. “No way. He’s not that kind of guy, Victoria.”
“What kind of guy? Every guy wants that.”
“That’s not what I meant and you know it! I mean, I’m not going to sleep with him to get it out of my system or whatever you said. Hayden didn’t make his move at the end of the semester when he could have. I doubt he’d do it now.”
“Then why don’t you make the move? I swear I’ve told you this before,” Victoria said.
“If he’s not interested, then I’m not going to put myself out there like that. Can we drop this?” Talking about Hayden was too confusing with Brady on her mind.
They were friends. Just friends. Hayden had made that perfectly clear last semester. They couldn’t do anything because of the paper, and it was even a stretch to say he wanted to do anything with her. All she got from him was mixed signals. She much preferred to have it all out on the table, like with Brady. Hayden was too confusing.
“Fine. We’ll drop it, but I still think you should consider walking around naked. You’ll find out real quick what he thinks of you,” Victoria said with a shrug.
“Thanks for those enlightening words,” Liz said with an eye roll. “Anyway, I have a big gala event this weekend that I have to go to.”
“Work?” Victoria asked.
“Yeah.” It wasn’t exactly work, but she couldn’t tell Victoria about Brady. Her friend would probably be ecstatic for her, but it was too scary to have people know. The more people with the knowledge of their secret, the more people who could spill it. Even if by accident.
“Do you get to at least wear a rocking dress? Oh my God, have you picked it out already? Can I go with you?” Victoria asked, perking up at the thought of shopping.
Liz shrugged her shoulders as if she didn’t know how to answer the questions. “I, uh…was going to go in something I already had. That’s what I did for the last one.”
Victoria leveled a gaze at her that was equal parts how are we friends and are you sure you’re female? “If this thing is a big deal, we need to get you something new!”
“There’s really not time,” Liz told her.
“We’ll make time for this. You’ll be less nervous about the event in a brand-new dress! Scientific fact. I would know,” she said, then finished off her drink. “Drink up, bitch. I’m getting you another.”
Liz stared down into her half-full drink and sighed. It was going to be a rough night.
As the night wore on, Liz felt her intoxication gradually sneak up on her. It wasn’t like at Justin’s frat party, where the hunch punch had hit her instantly and she had just been gone. This was the best kind of drunk. She and Victoria were barhopping up and down Franklin Street, following friends to new places, and enjoying the company of total strangers in ways that only Victoria could.
She had been trying to convince Liz quite loudly for the past twenty minutes to go home with this guy who had been allegedly hitting on her. Liz tried to tell her that the guy was only interested in her to get to Victoria, but she didn’t believe her. When he and Victoria started molesting each other at the bar thirty minutes later, Liz just had to laugh. So much for Victoria being a good judge of those kinds of things.
The guy and his friends followed them to the next bar and one of them actually did try to hit on Liz. He wasn’t her type, if she ever had one, and Liz repeatedly had to remove his arm from around her shoulders, touching the small of her back, and stroking her arm. Brady could smash this guy’s face in in two seconds. It made her smile to think about it, and the guy leaned in, taking it as encouragement.
“No, really. No, thanks,” Liz said, and walked away. She giggled the whole way to the bathroom to locate her roommate. Only two months ago, she would have stayed and been miserable enduring his unwanted attention. It was liberating to feel comfortable enough to stand up for herself. She didn’t need to spare his drunk feelings just because he couldn’t take a hint.
Victoria materialized a few minutes later, straightening her dress. “Can we get out of here?” she asked.
“Sure. What happened?” Liz asked, following on her heels.
“Too drunk, I guess,” Victoria said, “if you know what I mean.”
Liz’s eyes bulged. “Are you saying what I think you’re saying?” They were back out in the open air, wandering Franklin Street for another bar.
“Couldn’t get it up. Not my problem. He wasn’t very big anyway.”
Liz laughed and shook her head. “You astound me.”
Victoria walked through a doorway and took the stairs to a rooftop bar. “What was I supposed to do with that, Liz?” Victoria shuddered. “The answer is nothing. I can always call Kirk.”
“Who is Kirk?” Liz asked, never able to catch up to Victoria’s love life.
“That TA I was telling you about. Remember?”
“The one from England?”
“No, I can’t touch the History department for a while. This guy is in Geography,” Victoria told her, heading toward the bar.
Liz’s head was so heavy and she was having trouble feeling her legs. She didn’t know how she didn’t stumble or slur or anything. The whole thing was making her want to tell Victoria about Brady. It would be so much nicer to talk to her about him. Then she wouldn’t feel so torn about keeping him a secret. If Victoria could so easily tell her about Kirk, why couldn’t she talk to Victoria about Brady?
“Anyway,” Victoria said before Liz could spill her guts, “Kirk is a bit older and has his own house. Went to get his PhD after spending four years abroad in Somalia or South Africa or something.”
“Those aren’t exactly close, Victoria. For sleeping with someone in the Geography department, you really don’t know your geography very well.”