"That's it."
"Go beat it out of him."
"It doesn't work that way, General. He offered a straight deal. We should follow through on those terms."
"Deal with criminals as though they were honorable men?"
"You have all your life, with those bandits off the Hill. But let's not argue. We have a lead. We could settle the theft problem today. Saucerhead. How much does he want?"
I was thinking long-term now. An unconnected fence? He'd need friends. He could be nurtured and stroked on the head and maybe become a good source someday. If he stayed alive. People aren't scared of fences the way they're scared of Morley Dotes or Chodo Contague.
Saucerhead named a price that was pleasantly low. "It's a bargain, General. Go with it. How much more are you willing to lose to avoid spending a few marks?"
"Collect from Dellwood. He handles the household monies."
That sounded like a cue for me to get away from a place where I was uncomfortable. "I'll take care of this, sir."
Maybe Stantnor sensed my discomfort. He didn't protest. But there was a glimmer of hurt in his eyes.
I'd never seen it in an old person before, but I'm not around them much. I'd seen it in children, the pain when an adult doesn't have time to be bothered with them.
That hit me in the spot where I think of myself as one of the good guys. Guilt. Its lack is something I envy Morley. Morley never feels guilty. Morley does what he wants or has to do and is puzzled by the behavior of those of us who had mothers. Where does it come from, that niggling little nasty?
23
Saucerhead said, "That old boy didn't look good, Garrett. What's he got?"
"I don't know. You're going to help me find out."
"Say what?"
"Dellwood, the General said give my friend enough to cover some upcoming expenses. How much do you need, Saucerhead?" Hand him a chance to make his trip worth the trouble.
He didn't bite. Not very big. "Twenty. The guy tries to jack me up, I'll pull his ears off." He would. And wrap them with a bow.
"Get the name, then get the guy. Right? But find a doctor somewhere and bring him out here, too."
"A doctor? You lost me somewhere, Garrett. What you want a doctor for?"
"To look at the old man. He's got a thing about croakers. Only way to get one close is fool him. So you do that. All right?"
"You're paying the freight."
"Hurry all you can."
"Right." He was supposed to be too simple for sarcasm but I smelled a load there.
Dellwood gave him twenty marks. He left. I went to the front door, watched him head out in a buggy he'd probably rented from Playmate, a mutual friend. I grumbled about his expenses. The old man had given me a nice advance but I hadn't counted on quite so many expenses.
Dellwood joined me. "May I ask what that was all about, sir?"
"You can ask. Don't mean I'll tell you. Part of the job. You going to tell the General I'm sneaking a doctor in on him?"
He gave it a think. "No sir. It's appropriate. Except for yesterday he's been sinking fast. He's pretending to bear up today, but last night is gnawing at him, too. If there's a way... Let me know if I can aid in the deception."
"I will. I have a lot to do today." Like what? Not that much specific. "I'll let you know before Tharpe gets back."
"Very well, sir."
We parted. I went upstairs to see if Morley was in the suite. He'd have a part to play. As I reached the top balcony I spied my friend in white across the way. I waved. She surprised me by waving back.
Morley wasn't there. Just like him, not to be handy when I needed him. Thoughtless of him. I grabbed my coat and headed out.
The blonde was still there. She wasn't watching for me. I decided to take one more crack at sneaking up on her. Slipped up to the loft, across, went down.
Ha! Still there!
Only... My imagination had run away with me. This wasn't my blonde. This was Jennifer wearing white and not the same white the blonde wore. She smiled kind of sadly as I approached her. "What's the matter?" I asked.
"Life." She leaned her elbows on the rail. I joined her, leaving a few feet between us. Below, our hero remained locked in mortal combat with the dragon. Chain passed without giving them a glance. I knew how the knight felt. Us heroes like to be applauded for our efforts.
I answered Jennifer with one of those "Uhm?" noises that mean you'll listen if your companion wants to share her troubles.
"Am I ugly, Garrett?"
I glanced at her. No. She wasn't. "Not hardly." I've known several equally gorgeous women who were more insecure about their looks than your less-than-average-looking ladies. "The guy who didn't notice would have to be dead."
"Thanks." Trace of a smile, trace of warmth. She moved maybe three inches closer. "That helps." Half a minute. "But nobody does notice. Even that I'm female."
How do you tell a woman it isn't her looks, it's her inside? That, nice as she looks, she feels like a black widow spider?
You don't. You fib a little to avoid the cruelty and hate.
Even standing close, with her radiating a need to be wanted, I couldn't find any interest inside me.
I began to worry about me.
"You don't notice me."
"I notice you plenty." Only somebody with very skewed standards, like maybe a ratman, would call her hard on the eyes. "But I'm taken." That's always an out.
"Oh." That infinite sorrow again. That's what it was. Sorrow. Sorrow that stretched back to the dawn of her days. An abyss that could gobble the world. "What's her name?"
"Tinnie. Tinnie Tate."
"Is she attractive?"
"Yes." The redhead is in the same class as Jennifer. That is, the howl-at-the-moon class. But we have our problems, one of which is that we aren't going anywhere. Sort of a can't-live-with-and-can't-live-without arrangement, neither of us with enough confidence to risk commitment.
I might have, with Maya... Or maybe she just said she was going to marry me so often that I accepted the possibility. I wondered what she was doing. Wondered if I was supposed to track her down. Wondered if she'd ever be back.
"You're awful thoughtful, Garrett."
"Tinnie does that to me. And this place... This house... "
"Don't be apologetic. I live here. I know. It's a sad place. A ghost town all by itself, haunted by might-have-beens. Some of us live in the past and the rest live for a future that'll never come. And Cook, who lives in another world, is the rock that holds us together."
She wasn't so much talking to me as putting feelings into words.
"There's a road down front, Garrett. Less than half a mile away. Its other end is TunFaire, Karenta, the world. I haven't been past the front gate since I was fourteen."
"How old are you now?"
"Twenty-two."
"Who's holding you here?"
"Nobody but me. I'm afraid. Everything I imagine I want is out there. And I'm afraid to go see it. When I was fourteen, Cook took me to the city for the summer fair. I wanted so badly to go. It's the only time I've ever been off the estate. It terrified me."
Odd. Most beautiful women don't have much trouble coping because they've had attention all their lives.
"I know my future. And it frightens me, too."
I looked at her, thinking she meant Wayne. I'd be disturbed, too, if I were the object of such plans.
"I'll stay here, in the heart of my fortress, and turn into a crazy old woman while the house crumbles around me and Cook. I'll never find nerve enough to hire the workmen to put it right. Strangers scare me."
"It doesn't have to be that way."
"It has to. My destiny was laid down the week I was born. If my mother had survived... But she probably wouldn't have changed things. She was a strange woman herself, from what I hear. Daughter of a firelord and a stormwarden, raised in an environment almost as cold as mine, betrothed to my father by arrangement between his parents and hers. They never met before their wedding day. My father loved her, though. What happened really hurt him. He never mentions her. He won't talk about her. But he has her picture in his bedroom. Sometimes he just lies there and stares at it for hours."