Hero? Unlikely. Anyway — to whom? Once you're dead there's no difference, the kites aren't fastidious.
He read how Korah, son of Izhar, son of Kohath, son of Levi, was swallowed by the earth with all his followers, while fire consumed two hundred fifty more. He read how Lot's daughters lay with their drunken father; how the Lord destroyed Sodom and brought the flood. He read how the Lord smote the firstborn of the Egyptians, and how, at the behest of Moses, the sons of Levi slew three thousand of their brothers, and later every male of the Midians, and their male children, and also all of their women who had slept with men, keeping only the young virgins for themselves. He read how Israel, at the order of Joshua, slew all but a harlot in Jericho, and how Joshua hung five kings from five trees before destroying their cities, and how a certain Levite, whose concubine was ravished in his stead by men in Gibeah (for they were pederasts and would have preferred him), afterward divided her in twelve parts like a pie and sent a piece to each of the tribes of Israel that they might make war on Benjamin. He read how Saul and his sons and his armorbearer and all his men died on the same day, and how Uzzah was stricken for touching the ark when the oxen faltered, and how Ammon ravished the sister of Absalom so that Absalom had his brother slain, and then how Absalom stole the loyalty of the people from his father who was king, and to vex his father lay with his father's whores, and at last led the people away. He read how finally Absalom was defeated, and how he Bed on an ass and was caught in the branches of a tree Mere Joab, his father's captain, bled his heart for the dogs with darts. He read how Joab spilled the bowels of Amasa on the ground and received the head of Sheba which was thrown from the walls of his town to turn away the wrath of King David. He read how the Lord put a plague upon Israel, His anger consuming seventy thousand, and how Amasa was revenged, for Solomon had Joab slain, and how much in love Solomon was with foreign women so that the Lord took ten of the tribes of Israel from him and gave them to Jeroboam, whom, however, He later cursed with a terrible curse, causing his son to die.
These and many others. He saw Absalom alive in the oak and me head of Sheba falling from the wall and Joab's sword entering Amasa. He heard the Lord curse Jeroboam through the mouth of His prophet Ahijah: the dog shall eat those of the house of Jeroboam who die in the city, and the birds shall eat those of his house who die in the country, and all of his house shall be consumed as a dry cake of dung is consumed in the fire. He imagined the men of King David at the foot of the wall, the head of Sheba looping over, and Joab running to catch it before it smashed on the rocks, spoiling its features, for the king liked to have the heads of his enemies brought into his presence since he hoped to find the meaning of their death in the final arrangement of their faces. Here is the head of a foolish man, My does he smile so wisely? Fourth face: small moustache and triangular chin, nervously winking eyes… something in them? ah, he's chewing on his tongue… wink tick chew tock, wink wink. You've waited too long, now what's her name's begun, de dum de dum de dum de dum: we rise to praise the living God. Oh no indeedy. Incorrect. The third stone, reddish, small, flat with rounded edges and a glacial nick-the first two having fallen grievously short — was thrown by a ferrety boy in a sailor suit. It skipped twice before turning toward its target, then twice more, quickly, striking the giant between the eyes so that he fell with a groan, shaking the earth. There was generous applause and considerable shouting. A pillar of dust rose from beneath the body, two thousand sneezing. With the clangor of arms the armies collided. Yar. Yar. Yar.
He saw Absalom alive in the oak. The locusts flew up in a cloud and the servants of King David saw them rising and knew where Absalom was. While Joab pierced his heart and ten men struck him, his mule was grazing. Absalom said, ah my father's friend has come, my kinsman; but Joab did not speak, affixing the darts. The head of Absalom then was like the head of Sheba tossed from the wall top and like Amasa's who was murdered on the highway; it was like the head of the Levite's concubine sent as a message to Judah; it was the head of Goliath and the other stone man; it was like the head of Saul and the five kings Joshua had hung in the trees; it was like the heads of thousands brought one by one into his dreams and held by their hair as the oak had held Absalom, all those whom war and plague and treachery had slain, each in the griff of a warrior, and all the heads were smiling in the same way… wisely… and Furber heard King David muttering, why are they smiling? what is the meaning? for head after head, even those with sad eyes or poor teeth, those who met death weeping, were smiling. Everyone stood in a group near me tree, even Jethro, who was shortest. Abner, wearing the ringlet of leaves, had already hid. Ruth, the fat girl, began the chant.
hingle-dy
dingle-dy
this is so sing-a-ly
if we go single-ly
we'll find the crown
Then they all ran, Jethro screaming, bringing his parents running from the house. In the tent with the king there were people on benches, wailing. The king said: shall I cut this child in two? Just so. Someone was playing the piano and everyone rose to sing. Oh I do believe you Lord, I do. Jethro ran to the front, saying: I have seen Absalom alive in the oak. From there his father dragged him, squalling. Never again. No more religious circuses, you understand? Not even a psalm-singing acrobat? A little introductory music please. Ladies and Gentlemen. Let me call your Attention to the Top of the Tent: the Lord of Hosts! all the way from Egypt! floating! in Thin Air! and without Nets! without any Support! of Any Kind! No one Else in the World is Capable of such a Feast! Dum diddy dumm dum, dum daaaa. But it was the stoned man he saw most. When they began throwing he ran to a small hill. Flies drank his sweat. It was only a game called king of the mountain. A stone came out of the sun and struck him just back of the ear. Death in every direction. He staggered drunkenly down the slope into their arms.
ringlet
ringlet
where's our kinglet
king has run away
Furber did not stay long with the later books. He was disappointed with them. Of Revelation he was even a little disdainful. What this saint had dreamed of, Moses and Joshua had done. His book was filled with the wind of trumpets and the insubstantial wings of angels, and while there were cataclysms of all kinds which the emperor's prisoner promised would destroy a fifth or a fourth or a third of the earth, his threats were like those Jethro himself had sometimes shouted from his yard at the bullying fat girl with whom he often played and who had showed him, as Rome he supposed had showed John, her private parts; and in consequence no one whose foot would raise real dust in the road was deprived of his bowels by the sword; for Furber had already read how King David had numbered Israel, angering the Lord, and how the Lord had offered him a punishment for his people: either three years of famine, three months of flight before their foes, or three days of pestilence brought by an angel, and how King David had wisely chosen the latter, saying: let us fall into the hands of the Lord, for His mercy is great; but let us not fall into the hands of man; so Furber felt, even as a boy, that if the Lord really wished to bring the world to a terrible end, He would not toss earth and heaven together or bring forth fire from the ground or roll up the sea like a scroll, but simply withdraw Himself so that the whole earth and the heavens beyond the earth would settle quietly into the hands of man.