On the Night of the Seventh Moon

“What do you mean by my special one?”

“Now, Miss Trant, you are prevaricating. You know I refer to Master Fritz. Do you remember how concerned you were that he should not ride and how, because you pleaded so prettily, I gave way to your request.”

“I remember your realizing that the boy had a chill and was better at home.”

“I realized no such thing; and boys who are going to grow into strong men should not be coddled by devoted but mis guided teachers of English. I agreed that he should stay behind because you asked it, and you must believe. Miss Trant, that I am very anxious to please you, although if my efforts were so misconstrued and quickly forgotten I might not consider it necessary to make them.”

There was a cruel smile on his lips. I trembled for Fritz. There was something sadistic about this man which could be terrifying. Was he implying that unless I became what he would call ‘friendly’ he would wreak his frustration and anger on Fritz because he knew that was what would hurt me most?

I could think of nothing to say. I could not plead with him now. I had an idea that if I did he would make conditions.

I was glad when we reached the schloss.

The children had seen our arrival and Dagobert came running out to do homage to his father.

“And Miss, where have you been?” he demanded.

“Miss has been enjoying the solitude of the forest,” said the Count.

I took my mare to the stables and went in. I wanted to see Fritz.

I found him in his room. I said: “Your father is here and he is taking you and Dagobert riding.”

I was pleased to see that he did not look nearly so frightened as he used to. I had done that for him. I had assured him that if one feared something one must look it straight in the face and try to overcome that fear. He was very familiar with his pony, and it was only when he showed fear that the pony sensed it. If he felt perfectly at home, so would the pony. I had driven home that lesson.

Half an hour later I was in the schoolroom watching them ride away when Frau Graben came in.

“There they go,” she said, ‘off to the hunt, I dare say. My word, Fritzi sits his pony well. He seems to have lost some of his fear of his father. “

I nodded, smiling.

She looked at me anxiously.

“I saw you ride back with Fredy.”

“Yes, I met him in the forest.”

“It was Max you went to meet.”

“Yes.”

“And you saw him?”

I nodded.

“Well, I expect you’ll be leaving Klocksburg soon.”

“I’ve not made any plans yet.”

“You will,” she said confidently. Then she looked less happy.

“Did Fredy see you with Max?”

“Yes, he did.”

She stuck out her lower lip, a habit which implied consternation.

“You’d better be careful. Fredy always wanted what Maxi had. The fact that it was Maxi’s gave it special value in his eyes. The trouble I had with that boy! There was a lovely little horse and carriage Maxi had. His mother gave it to him one Christmas. They had their own tables at Christmas. That was the great day of their lives. They’d talk about it for weeks. And then there would be their tables with their little fir trees all lighted with candles. Their presents were on the big tree and there was this carriage and horses for Maxi. It was a fine thing. It was painted like the royal carriage with the crown on it and the Duke’s arms and Fredy saw it and wanted it. That night he took it away and hid it. We found it in his cupboard and back it went to Maxi and the next day we found it smashed up. The wicked boy had destroyed it rather than that Maxi should have it. I’ve never forgotten it.

I don’t think he’s changed much There was a faint glint of anxiety behind the bland smile. She was afraid. She wanted me to understand that because the Count was interested in me and had discovered that Maximilian and I were in love, he was now quite determined to become my lover.

Perhaps I should have been warned but I could not take this threat seriously. If I were careful never to be alone with him, there was nothing he could do. I was not a horse and carriage to be smashed, though he could of course make life very unpleasant.

I was in my room when they came back. I went to the window and saw them. My first glance was for Fritz; he was happily sitting his pony and riding with ease.

All I had to do was make him understand that he must not show fear. It seemed he had learned that lesson.

But I soon discovered from Frau Graben that the Count had decided the boys should now have done with ponies. They were to ride horses. He had been to the stables and chosen which they should have.

I knew something of the horses there and when I realized which was to be Fritz’s mount, I was afraid. It was one of the friskiest horses in the stables.

What sort of man was this who could endanger his son’s life on the pretext that he was making a man of him and at the same time showing his displeasure towards a woman who had flouted him?

I had to try to see him against his own background. Was I perhaps unable to visualize what the rather wild upbringing had made of him?

The outlook here would be very different from that in a peaceful English town. That was why everything seemed a little fantastic and unreal. These men took what they wanted and didn’`t count the cost to others. They were so ruthless that even when they loved they could deceive with a mock marriage. What were they capable of when they were prompted by lust alone?

My fears for Fritz did at least stop my brooding exclusively on my own problem.

I went into the town that afternoon while the children were having a drawing lesson from a young artist who came up to the schloss to teach them once a week. I saw the hat in the window and afterwards I thought it was fate or instinct or something like that which led me to that window.

It was a boy’s hat in pale grey rather like a bowler and there was a small green feather stuck into the ribbon. Beneath the hat was a notice.

“The Safety Riding Hat’.

I went into the shop. Yes, it was designed to give extra protection to the head. The hatter had heard only that day that a-young fellow had fallen from his horse and avoided a serious accident because he was wearing his safety riding hat.

I bought it.

If I were going to give Fritz a present I must buy gifts for the others. The toy-maker’s shop was always a delight to all the children.

There were cuckoo clocks and dolls’ houses and dolls’ furniture, humming-tops and toy horses and riding whips. It was not difficult to find something. For Dagobert I bought what was called a weather detector. It consisted of a little wooden house with two figures, a man dressed in sombre clothes and a woman in bright colours. The woman came out when the sun was going to shine, the man when it was going to rain. I guessed that would please him. Liesel’s gift was a double-jointed doll.

When I returned to the schloss the children were back from their art lesson, which had been given out of doors. They were delighted with their gifts.

Fritz put on his hat.

“It’s a safety hat,” I told him.

“Is it magic?”

“It means that while you’re wearing it you’ll be much safer than you would be without it.”

He regarded it with awe. Dagobert was delighted with his weather-house but his eyes did rest rather longingly on the safety hat. It was astonishing really, because I had thought a toy would have been much more desirable than an article of clothing; but it seemed that they had already endowed this hat with some special magic.

Inside it was a silk tab on which was inscribed the words “Safety Hat’. They read it with awe. Fritz put it on and wouldn’`t take it off.

It’s really for riding,” I told him; but he wanted to keep it on all the time.